March 18, 2009


he book I'm reading talks about it and I just read a blog about pretty much the same thing. Coincidence? Maybe. Hopefully. And to top it, my life's a little messy right now and I just talked to my friend who didn't understand what was happening with me. In all that craziness I forgot to tell her I'm flying to Los Angeles in ten days. That's how messy things are right now. We've known each other since 7th grade, live in the same city about max. 10 minutes away from each other, though she works about 90 minutes away and has a commute each day that makes it almost impossible to see each other on a regular basis. However, we try our best to keep in touch and stay updated until NOW. Messy! So we talked, and I was able to liberate myself...telling her how I feel about life, future issues, my trip to California, work, school...the usual crazy stuff. It felt good. Didn't know it was possible to free oneself of guilt, loneliness, and frustration in about ten minutes over the phone. Or almost.
Am I happy? Of course...not. At least not entirely. Why so? Don't ask. About a year ago my uncle sent me an article that described how young people feel these days. I thought he was nuts but it turned out he knew exactly how I felt, and how hard it must be to live in this unknown stage of constant weirdness. The article described how young people aged 21 to 35 have difficulties distinguishing themselves. In any kind of way...may it be in a job, school, family, friends...anything... I continued reading and it turned out the article was right. Years ago, and I mean years ago, people attended school, went on to college and accomplished whatever there had to be accomplished. They knew what they wanted and got it right away. Say, a guy knew he wanted to become a doctor...he went for it. Another knew she wanted to become some sort of insurance person...the educational part was done and there she was sitting in her office dealing with numbers and people. Today, we do go to school and deal with similar things our parents had to deal with while attending school (granted, things changed)...and then we get trapped. Or distracted. There are a million possibilities for us to conquer the world and our future. More than a million. We are trapped unless we really and certainly know what we want in life. And as the article pointed out only about 3% knows what to do after school. The rest (me included) is wishing and dreaming and maybe even trying...but never fully happy about the result or too scared to even try. Our parents have certain expectations of us and we want to make them proud but at the same time we want to grow...spiritually, physically, mentally, you name it. We want to see the world, discover the unknown, experience new adventures, meet more people ...the world is open to us...more open than when our parents and grandparents were at our age. We got hooked on what is out there and we want to have and see it all...we want to escape from our known world and learn more...our horizon needs to be widened and we so need this. I know I'm not alone...the article and so many other things among blogs, letters, conversations showed me this....I know we're all in the same mess. I'm glad we are. Aren't you?!

So, as for today...liberty is my word.
I freed myself from a little bit of guilt, tiny bit of loneliness and frustration. The rest I have to figure out later. Happiness will one day be found! Life's full of crazy moments, and frankly I'm thankful for that. It keeps me going, it should keep you going as well...though don't run, you might miss exactly what you were looking for...

P.s. In case you were wondering, my blog titles are all song titles. They usually have something to do with my current mood or it says...crazy little world of mine...

1 comment :

Leia said...

Hey Selma! I enjoyed your post. How long are you going to be in California for?


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