Life

So guys, I had to make changes with this blog of mine and it's been just awful. There, I said it. Besides trying to figure things out with family, friends, and life...sometimes it's just bleh. Let's be real here; life is hard. Add some drama to it and it gets harder. Add a new hobby to it and it may add a few sprinkles but life still remains hard. Blogging? That's a whole different story.

So here I am still trying to figure out if this space of mine is really going to continue. Yet, as you all know I have had this blog for years and believe that writing helps any situation. It is a healthy distraction; a healthy way to deal with problems, or just a healthy way to share our thoughts, our visions and our lives!

This month is a not a happy month.
It started out with a reminder that life is short. My cousin's death six years ago proved it, a blog friend's dad passing proved it, and then my mom's death proved it once more. I know I have my guardian angels watching over me. I know they keep me grounded and help me get through it all. It may take longer than I anticipated but I know this is the right way for me. Yet, besides the past unfortunate moments, this month has also thrown another curve ball towards my somewhat stable life. Another blog friend's mother-in-law died. My best friends in Europe lost their mom last year {and it still pains me when I look at photos and I still have to pinch me saying; don't ask how their mom is doing...because well, ya know}, and now my husband's grandpa is in terrible shape and it looks like he will leave us this week. I dread the daily calls my mother-in-law makes. I appreciate her and her love. I know for her, this is a way to get her sadness out and not keep it in. Yet, it all brings back my still very fresh memories of two years ago. Two years ago today I was frantically calling Europe, trying to get a hold of someone somehow to figure out where the heck my mom was, and most importantly how she was doing. My hands were shaking, my voice was trembling and the second I head my mom's voice I felt a huge burden lifted off my shoulders. I almost cried but I didn't. I wanted to sound strong for mom. I didn't know it by then, but that conversation was one of the last ones I had with her. I was able to tell her I was doing well and I was happy. I didn't know it back then but the next six weeks would be torturing her and me alike. I know these moments will always come back. I know they are part of me. I know they are meant to bring back memories and remind me that life is fragile and short. I also know I am doing okay, and that I will get through this. We all will. Yet, with B and his grandpa, the daily updates and what not...all I want to do is hide in the closet and wait it out...preferably hugging one of my cats, and listening to relaxing music.

This month is not a happy month.
YET I am determined to make it as comfortable as even possible.
I got good news after all...my driver's license got renewed and while I was freaking out over a possible written test again I didn't have to take one, I didn't have to wait in line and my husband got off today. So he's making me brunch...with bacon and eggs. If that isn't a positive way to enjoy the day then I don't know what is. So, I am ready to embrace the rest of this month...with all the emotions around me, with all the sadness floating around, and with all the funny and happy moments and texts I get to receive until April welcomes us in a few days.

Life is messy, and life is hard.
I try to keep it all together, cherish each day with new hopes and new ideas. I also try to remind myself that no matter what happens I won't be alone. I also try to blog more, because writing how I feel and what I feel is important to me. It soothes my soul. It keeps me going. Let's hope I return more often. I already feel better and more me.

xox

Update on moi

How on earth has it almost been a month since my last post? 

"Time flies" is such a cliche sentence...but is definitely true! I have to admit, blogging has become more difficult in the past year. As you know it's always been my platform to express myself, to share my story, to be me. I still want it to be all that and much more. This is when my inconsistency comes in. Sometimes my life needs inconsistency, because without it it wouldn't be me. I wouldn't be true to myself. So here I am, writing inconsistently and not happy about it...but alas...that is life!

So what have I been up to??
Living life. Simple as that. Being a housewife, cleaning, cooking, organizing, paying bills, working out, you know the usual...oh, and cuddling my two cats...educating myself on essential oils and teaching about them {and that is my small business if you were wondering}, keeping it all together, house hunting, taking photos, and planning our future vacation!! It's all things life related. Boring, I know. Busy for sure.

Also, as of yesterday we are a bit worried about my husband's grandfather. He spent Christmas with us but has not been doing well in the past four days so things got a bit weird around here and filled with worry. Then again, I am not worried. I have no heart. It is time, and he will leave us eventually. I think I look at things differently since my mom's passing. I show no emotions. Also, he's 94 so it is okay. He's lived a fulfilled life, worked hard and did excellent work in his field, so if and when he goes it will be okay. He'll be reunited with the love of his life and can hang with my mom; she'd then know more about my man from him. Best source ever. Yup, morbid. Yet, that is how I see it.

Until I have more updates and stories to share...if you want to follow along on what I am doing you can easily find me on Instagram, or Pinterest {links available to the right!}. I am definitely trying to engage and entertain everyone on those platforms for sure. 

xox

The Ever Returning Enemy: Grief!

Grief is like the unwanted relative visiting you or bugging you, or the friend you cannot let go off, or the boyfriend your heart longs for but your mind knows better. Grief stays. Unwanted. Unloved. Bothersome. And especially making one long for someone or something that no longer is. 

Grief is the enemy to our happy soul. It arrives mostly announced and out of nowhere. Sometimes it lets you know ahead of time that it will arrive but oftentimes this is not the case. Worst of all, the enemy to our happy soul, the unwanted one, stays forever! Rude.

Personally I have had my fair share with grief. I got different visits, at different times, and not one has hit me as hard as the one last year. It took me over a year to come to terms that yes, I have this visitor eating all my joy and motivation and that this visitor will probably not leave. Ever. So I fought back. Slowly. I kept it a secret because, well, grief couldn't and should not know what I was up to. It worked. Granted, I had to accept that this visitor will be yet another part of me. So I decided to fight back on a daily basis. I cannot let this enemy of mine win. I am the only one who can win and I should win. The other times I dealt with loss I had hardly any issues. Yes, I mourned. I cried. I wept actually, for days and weeks. But then, it was over. Grief nestled in a corner and stayed there. Easy.

Last year though, grief was not quiet. Grief was loud, obnoxious, ridiculous, and especially annoying. I wanted to fire grief. If it were this easy I would have done it. The enemy stays, and needs to find a place to stay and settle somewhere. So while grief tried to do just that I was perplexed, frozen, in pain and mad. Fighting back took time because, just like my enemy, I had to be slick. So how did I do it?!

I took time off!!!
Off of everything!

Now, not everyone can do this. I was blessed. I wanted to get back into a routine, follow my dreams, work, do things that would distract me, but I was in pain. Physical pain. There were times I couldn't move my arms or legs. My neck was a totally different story. My body was in constant shock. I worked hard on getting this part of the process fixed, and today I can say that I haven't felt this good in over a year. Not all distractions are good, you know. You may think they are, but they aren't. I still have issues going out and meeting new people, or attending conferences, or a simple birthday party. My body tenses up and then I can't breathe and well, we can guess what follows next. It's freaking annoying and disruptive. So, taking time off was the only option for me. Luckily, I was okay being around B, his family, and occasional visit from friends. I remember walking back home after my friend dropped me off and I felt relieved. Crazy. Love my friend but seeing her and her family after a few years and meeting up should not be intense. I loved seeing her, my body didn't agree. So taking off, avoiding some events, laying low {on the couch with reruns of old shows}, focusing on me and my body was the only thing that worked for me. It's the most bizarre thing ever because I always thought I'd be okay when I get distracted. I was before, just not this time around. I guess, it is very true...people change. And we change at the most impractical times.

Last week I learned of sad news. It hit home for me once more. I was so perplexed that at some point I had to go back to some texts to check and see if I dreamed it all. I didn't. It was real. Needless to say, my body decided to cramp up again. Holy cow!!!! I did however sleep a lot better at night. So, what changed?! My constant and unwanted visitor let go. This ever returning enemy of mine still sits in a corner, arms crossed and all, but the enemy decided to loosen up the knots. I felt one loosen up last night. It cracked. Literally. I felt so much better this morning. It's incredibly crazy how one reacts to dramatic events. Seriously. It's crazy. And what I have experienced will most probably not be what you have experience {or will experience one day}. It's one crazy roller coaster! 

Despite the sad new, the few hours I cried my heart out for my friends, life, love, family, and what not...I found a way back to reality; a way back to the NOW.

The ever returning enemy can visit but it cannot put me down. It can shock me, but I will fight back. I will find a way back to my own person, to my own personality. I let my passions go, I let my desire to be a great friend, daughter, cousin, and wife vanish...but no more!!! I want to reconnect, I want to discover, I want to experience, I want to help. I want to be me again. I need to be me again in order to fight back; even after 16 months. I am ready, and grief can kiss my well-shaped behind and stay in the corner; heavily sulking I hope. 

Dear Luna and Lilee

Dear Luna and Lilee,

How are you two snuggle birds doing? I hope you have found a warm spot, preferably with a view, and feel cozy and happy. I hope you are happy. What I'm trying to say here though is thank you!

Thank you Luna and Lilee. You two have no idea how much you enriched my life in the past 11 months. You have given me hope. You have given me love. You have shown me life continues no matter what happens. You have helped me get over that slump, that disgusting black hole I tried to jump over. You have helped me so much. You may not know this but you were meant for me, for us. I'm so glad we found you when we almost lost hope, and I'm so happy we decided to get you despite people telling us not to.

Life with you has definitely changed my mood. Your two very different personalities make me smile every time. One of you {you know who} is such a food whore {yes, I said that word!!}. You want to eat eat eat all the time. You think it's food time when we walk into the kitchen. You won't shut up until you get your wet food. Yet, despite your loud and may I add annoying voice {sorry you will never be an Opera singer} you are the sweetest and most loving cat ever. You know how to push my buttons, and you know how to make my heart melt. Thank you for not scratching anything, and thank you for being the cat you are because your curiosity is the funniest and most adventurous ever. And well, there's my love bug. Thank you for being the cutie pie you are. Your smile and cute voice always makes me weak. You are the total opposite to your sister. You are quiet, patient, and you know how to wait. You and I have a morning routine and I cannot express how awesome this routine is. I love our morning snuggles, and the fact that you are mommy's girl. Thank you. 

Yes, my lovely fur babies. This post is for you. Thank you for being a part of my life, of our life that is. You have definitely enhanced our dull life, and have helped us define who we are. Yes, believe it or not you did help define our life. Thank you for loving us.

We love you, too.

xox

P.s. I'm sorry I took photos of you girls stretched or sleeping...you are super cute when you are sound asleep so I had to take a photo and share it with the world. 

Pet Peeve Alert

Pet peeves. We all have them. Some of us are very vocal about them, and others aren't. A year ago I posted a few of mine, because, well, it's part of my life and quite frankly it felt great to share this. A lifestyle blog can be filled with outfits, decorations, and what not...and mine also consists of random ideas, things I like and things, yes, I dislike!!! It's time for me to become vocal again. ;-) 

1. Random shopping carts in the parking lot. Hmmmmm, seriously people. You grabbed the cart, you shopped, and put all your items in the car. Lock that car and put your car away. It's that easy. There are so many aisles available to put the shopping carts back, and a few extra steps have never hurt anyone before. Thinking about this drives me nuts.

2. Tables that are set wrong. Yes, I get it. Not everyone had a grandma who taught them how to properly eat or set a table. Google it though. Fork goes to the left, and the knife goes to the right. Not the other way around. It bugs me. I might be spoiled but heck, it bugs me big time.

3. Toilet paper rolls that are backwards! Do I need to say more?! There's two worlds out there. Rolls that roll with the paper facing forward, and then there's the backward rolling. This is a conversation piece, my lovely readers. There's two worlds there. Which one is correct?! Who knows. For me, it has to be forward rolling...never ever backward!!! Just saying. 

4. When people repeat the same story, over and over and over again. I get it. It was fun, or you had fun. I loved hearing the story once. I was genuinely happy for you. Yet, I don't need to hear the story again the next day, or the next time I see you. Now it's either them having forgotten that they told the story or they think I have forgotten about it. Either way, very annoying and time consuming. 

5. Unfriendly people. That's a logical thing, isn't it? Yet, what I mean here is people who cannot say a simple "hello". When you work in retail, or in the hospitality industry, or are a front desk clerk of whatever business dealing with people coming in and out...have the decency to say "hello" and "bye". That's all. Acknowledge someone came in, it won't kill ya! In this business {and yes I have worked in this business, and hello, have my degrees in it too} you gotta fake it. Yes. No matter how you feel or what happened in your life, if you have to work you show up and have a great attitude. Fake it. I know I had to. We all do at times. You don't need to make small talk, or tell your life story to everyone {heck no!!} but be adult enough and say hello.

6. When people refer to me as Swedish. First, get your geography right. Second, know that Swedish is for Sweden, and Swiss is for Switzerland. HUGE difference. Not the same country. Not the same language. Not even neighbors. Americans don't like to be called Canadians either, or English. Or Armenians, or Argentinians. Nope. Nope. Nope.

7. Slow drivers. Don't get me wrong. I am a great driver. I don't speed. But when the speed limit is 45 and you drive 25....I get peeved!! Worse is when it is a one lane street. Someone help me!

8. When people refer to McDonald's or Chipotle as a restaurant. Granted, yes, you get food there and you won't starve. A restaurant to me is not a fast food place or a place you get in line to receive your food. A restaurant to me is a sit-down place, with a server and a menu that is handed to me. A bonus here is a non-chain place. Mom'n'Pop places are my favorites. Yes, I'm a snob...hahahahaha!

9. Dirty dishes in the sink. I get that we are busy, and sometimes it is not possible to clean the dishes right away. I hate to see the sink piled up with all kinds of grossness. YUCK. At least make an effort to get rid of the dirties before you go to bed so your new day can start fresh.

10. Chipped nail polish. I know it happens. It's annoying. I can't stand it. I hate when it happens a day or two after your manicure. Oh, and it has happened with gel manicures too {yes, how outrageous!}. So, when it happens to me I get antsy. I need to get the remainder off. Immediately.

It feels great to write this down. We all have pet peeves. Some we share, and some we don't. And that is okay. What may bug me is very normal to you and you may not even recognize it at all. It's fine. What may bug you will probably not be an issue for me, who knows. This is what makes life interesting. I love it. One of my friend's pet peeve is that she must make sure all her notification number symbols on her phone must be unseen, also known as checked immediately or as soon as possible. So those tiny numbers bug her?! Not me. But I get it...knowing you have 1438 unread emails would bug me, too :)

Have a wonderful day and try not to get peeved today! No one needs a pet peeve alert at all.

xox

5 Things to Enjoy This Year's Summer

Summer time is always a time I am reevaluating the first half of the year. You know, what went wrong, what went exceptionally well, what could have been better and what needs improvement. Life is full of little things...things that shape anyone. We often read or say to appreciate the little things in life. Honestly this means to cherish every single moment given to you; the good and the bad. I recently read this book about the author and her decision to pay more attention to her actual life, day in and day out. Every month she decided to focus on something new. She wanted to be more alert of her life, more present, more there. Easier said than done. 

Now today, I don't want to talk about the book or how to better yourself. We all strive to live a better life, to be a better version of ourselves, and to just be happy! We all do. Even the richest people in the world try to find happiness, and enjoy the little things...some are oblivious to the fact that money doesn't buy everything, but most people are. That's besides the point. Today I want to talk about 5 things to enjoy this year's summer {or the rest of it} to the fullest possible...or if you haven't started living this summer here's a great start...

- schedule a day and be spontaneous. Hop in your car, have healthy snacks such as apples, carrots, water, and nuts with you, get gas and drive. Don't go to an area you have been to in the past year; try to explore a new place. Spontaneity is the key word. The only thing you have to do is schedule one day; whether that is an extra day off from work or a weekend off. Take that full day and live it outside your home, away from it all...and yes, don't forget your camera to remember it all by.

- summer days are longer than winter days. That's my favorite thing about this season, so I try to make every minute or hour count. Cook something new and have a date night at home {and if you're single why not invite your best friends over}. There are so many yummy recipes waiting to be tested, explored and eaten. Like Paella? Make it. Like Italian antipasti? Make it all and enjoy it on your patio. Enjoy delicious looking summer drinks? Step it up a notch and make your own! Plus, with temperatures being warmer now it's awesome to sit outside and eat later than usual gazing at the sunset! 

- go out and take a walk, and whenever you come across a person do the most simple and loving gesture there is: smile! Spread it, own it, and keep going. But make sure you don't scare people with your smile... ;) 

- money can be an issue no matter where or who you are. I get it. I'm right there with you. We are currently saving up for a house and this means all kinds of commitments and sacrifices. I love to save money but I get it, it's never a ton of fun. I look at summer as the time to scratch a few things off our monthly bill list...and with that we are learning to live life more in the now, and to be more present. We recently cancelled our cable, cut back on fun stuff {massages, games, movies, restaurants, and clothes shopping}, as well as started to be more aware of when and how we use energy and water. Gotta save where you can. With that in mind summer can be a bust, BUT no movies doesn't mean no fun and no shopping doesn't mean we will walk around naked. We have plenty of clothes, we have plenty of DVDs and streaming is an alternative option. Also, why stay inside to watch a movie or play a game when it's beautiful and warm outside?! Yes, we have temps in the 100s too and it's gross, and that is when I prefer to stay inside...so I change my plans or work around the heat.
Creativity is the key here. You don't have to spend a ton of money this summer, even when you want to be spontaneous or cook a fun meal at home. 

- most importantly though is that you have fun! If your kind of fun consists of adventures, pool parties, shopping days, hikes, or endless hours holding books...have fun with it! You can cook, explore a new area, smile and be creative but that is not worth one bit if you don't have fun with it. Fun is all this summer needs. If you can't find that then it is time to work hard on finding it because, what's the point in living a fantastic, fulfilled and happy life if you can't have fun!!

Now excuse me while I am going to pain my own nails in turquoise while listening to my favorite kind of sing-along-music. And then, I'm adding a trip to the grocery store because that allows me to buy a few more items for a few more new dishes and a summer drink I am dying to try out tomorrow. See? I might spend money on groceries but I will use that towards about five home dates with B, cooking new recipes and creating a summer cocktail. It's all about the perspective, and creativity, and yes FUN!

Happy Summer Time to all of you!!

xox

Weekly Hopes {48}

June is definitely my month. Yet lately I feel it isn't. I haven't given up and I certainly have not lost fate. I am a June baby and I believe in this month. I have had a few setbacks and it crumbled my positive vibes and hopes but again, I won't give up. Last week was yet another example of a negative week and blogging wasn't on my mind. I'm astonished I was able to write two posts. I had two more written but couldn't finish them up so here I am again, making sure this week will be a lot better. Fingers crossed!!

This week's Weekly Hopes consists of...

1 - Finding a new doctor and kicking ass at doing it {long story!}
2 - Sending out a big order
3 - Attending an online class for five days; all about Essential Oils {gotta educate yourself daily!}
4 - Finishing up Season 5 of Game of Thrones {I didn't last week...oops!}
5 - Date day on Thursday
6 - A trip to the lake
7 - Bake my peach blueberry pie or cake again!
8 - Walk more!
9 - Figure out a few things about my status
10 - Hoping for people to accept and love each other for who they are. It's a terrible world we live in.

Well, if you follow the news {and even if not} I am sure you've heard of Brexit. A funny word. What can I say?! I have mixed feelings about this whole thing. I'm very neutral, as a Swiss girl I think I always will be. 

Yet, for 1) it's not the end of the world that they are leaving the EU {hear me out!}. Personally, the EU is a good idea if we were in the year 1770. Or a bit later or earlier than that. The idea that was formed many decades ago and put to reality in 2001/2002 is based on the idea of having a European Union just like the United States of America. That being said, the US was formed many many years ago at a time when that was somewhat possible {yes, with consequences and war and all that history}. Europe was established already. You can't force nations who yes, have had their own problems, to leave their own rules/laws/morals/life/culture in a way behind and follow new rules/laws/morals/life/culture out of nowhere. Granted it took years and a lot of thinking and a lot of discussions but heck, as much as we all crave change at times, that is a huge change. Yes, Europe got hit hard during WWII and we all know why. Looking at it now...the man I won't name wanted to have a united Europe too...he called it differently but look at it...it's the same principle. NOW, there's always one or two countries that say NO. Switzerland is one of them. And yes, I voted not to be part of a European Union. I voted to live and be part of a country that keeps its freedom, its everything. Whatever that may be...but I didn't want to have my country change and follow rules made up by other nations who think their way is the best way. Has it ruined the country by not joining? No. It actually made it stronger. Yes, it pays the EU money but not as much as the EU members have to. That, has ruined those countries. Besides, the constant fights over who gets to be added to the EU or not is ridiculous. AND, the EU, like every western region, wants to be democratic. Democracy is important. Yes it is. Yet, there are leaders who will not follow that principle and do as they please. Yes, even today. They won't ask their people on a subject and just act upon it, or heck, force everyone to go with whatever they think is best. I am sorry, that is not a democracy. That should not even be called a Union. There's more but I leave it at this very superficial and quick rant... 

That being said 2) I do NOT LIKE why people voted for an exit. Fear, miscommunication, misunderstandings and what not caused people to vote out and not think. They didn't necessarily vote to be independent {besides, certain areas of the UK did vote to stay in..., so it is a divided country at the moment}. They voted out so they could keep "certain people" out, people who have shaped their country, helped it grow and develop. I fear for my dear friends and relatives who have lived there many many years and are now looked at as dirty foreigners who are no good, anymore. They were praised earlier and now....well, while some are open-minded and educated enough to appreciate "foreign" people in their country, others are not and start to hate even more.

In short, I welcome the Brexit because I don't like the idea of the EU in today's time BUT I condemn the reasons most people chose to vote in the first place. See? It's a crazy world and it won't get better unless we learn to accept and appreciate each other for who we are and what we can do for one another. Mixing nations is one thing...it opens our views, makes us eat different food and learn from one another. It's amazing how much we can benefit just by sitting together at a table and looking at each other's ways of eating dinner; or simple hand gestures, movements...we are all different but exactly that makes this world so fascinating and beautiful. I love the Mexican restaurant around the corner that is always packed, and the Turkish restaurant down the street who offers such authentic food it amazes me every time. I also love the Thai place downtown making you believe you are in Thailand, and the French bistro a few corners from that special Thai place. And if I feel like eating Sauerkraut and Bratwurst I head on over to the international market offering just that, and there I buy another sausage from Poland that I so love. IF we didn't mix, if we weren't open to change and to welcoming foreign people into our worlds and countries we would never know what I just described. Thai and Sauerkraut would be two were weird words, and Turkish would probably challenge your mind to see some camel and a tent {which by the way is oh so wrong!!!!}. 

History unfortunately repeats itself...and I fear for our future; no matter where we live...I fear for it to get more mad and anti-everything to the point that we will simply hate each other in the long run.

Rant over. Excuse the superficiality but these are my thoughts, my opinions for the past thirty plus years. Love one another, don't hate, and don't discriminate. 

Happy Monday everyone; that is if you made it this far down.

xox 

Dear Mom...

Dear Mom,

Hi. We miss you, you know. There's so much I want to tell you but I am sure you already know. It's weird not being able to hear your voice or receive your funky comments. Yes, I know, I complained about them but let's be honest, some of your comments were unnecessary and you even admitted that much. It's the little things we miss. Like, I really would love to know how you made those cheese pastries. I could look it up but it wouldn't be the same. It would come from you and now it comes from the internet or a book. 

What I really wanted to tell you though is this: besides missing you a ton {and I am sure I am not the only one} I am actually really glad you are not around anymore to see all this turmoil, this sadness, this political drama, and the nonsense we live in. As much as I want you to be here I am happy you don't see any of this. Well, you may have seen it but since you're far far away it doesn't affect you as much as it affects us. Maybe you are hugging me right now and if you are, thank you. I felt a chill and whether this was you or just me getting chills, I want you to know that it is okay. Everything you did to me is okay. You did it out of love. You did it because that was the only way you knew. You did it because you did not want to be alone. You did it purely out of love. And it is okay. I get it. 

So, thank you for the hug, for everything you did for me and for everything you did against me. Enjoy it where you are. You're better off there, all quiet, full of harmony and peace. One year ago we celebrated you and said our good-byes to you. It was quiet, peaceful and full of love. I can still smell the flowers, and I hope you can too. We miss you. We think of you. We love you.

Wherever you are we are sending you hugs, love, and sunflowers your way!

xox

Rain Storm

Rainy days are always welcome in my neck of the woods. The world at this point knows how much California needs the rain. When it rains it makes me happy. It started raining yesterday and it doesn't look like it will end soon. So, what's the point I am trying to make? Honestly, does there have to be a reason? It is raining, it is cold, it is gray and all I could think of is turn on my computer and write. 

This week has been a busy lazy one. What on earth is this you may ask? My planned posts were not written or published, my ideas vanished, my brain shut off and all I could do is live life without a computer on. I was busy, and lazy at the same time as I had not felt the urge to write. It is not that I intended to take a week off; it just happened. Honestly, I didn't miss it. Oops, what? Yes, you read right. I miss the community and I miss the various topics I come across when reading but for this one week I didn't feel anything was missing. In a way, this is a good thing. I need this. It was an unplanned vacation without going anywhere. 

With this big rain storm hitting my area {hallelujah!} I decided to sit back, read, and write again. Now, since I completely ignored the blog world for a week, I decided to share with you my highlights of the week today. Every week I link up with two wonderful bloggers sharing what made them happy. I'm going to do this right now. This beautiful rainy day inspired me...so let's see what made me happy this week:

1. Kitty shenanigans

2. Therapy session {not ashamed to admit this; plus it's ending soon}

3. Quick meetup with family

4. Whiter teeth

5. Snapchat

6. Conversations with like-minded friends

7. Tator tot bake {recipe following soon}

8. Improvement with my neck and shoulder

9. House of Cards

10. Essential oils and their astonishing power

This rain storm is quite beautiful. The car gets a free wash, warm drinks are a must and I can work on everything I put off for a while. I'm a happy woman. Let's see how next week goes. I don't want another blog vacation but you never know what next week has in store. It's time to link up my post with Krysten and Lindsay and finish staring at the gray clouds. 

Have an amazing weekend.

xox

A Letter to My Insecure Younger Self

Dear Selma,

Hi, how are you? I hope this letter finds you happy, smiling, and content with your life. If not, change it immediately because the world, with its current turmoil in several countries, is beautiful and awaits you to explore it. So get up and go and don't waste another minute of it. 

I am writing this to you today to let you know you should not look forward to being older. Enjoy every moment of your youth, every moment you spend with your mom; even the moments she drives you insane and seems not to understand you. Spend every moment with your grandma, even your grandfather and everyone else in your life. Make it a habit to visit family and friends more often. Don't take anyone for granted. Trust me. 

Do not frown at the high school choice your mom throws in your face. She wants you to get a great education and a better start into your future. One day you will know why. You will not like it the first day of school but it will get easier. High school will be not your favorite. You will do much better in French, and you will excel in English, History and German. Oh, and ignore those girls who talk behind your back and give you false promises. You will never see them again and you will not miss out a thing. The best thing out of high school will be one girl. Yes, the high school your mom will pick out for you will give you one amazing friend. You will become best friends for life. Trust me. You two will have ups and downs as it is expected in a friendship but it will be all worth it. She will be your sister and she will have great stories to tell you and you will be very proud of her accomplishments in life, including her little family.

There will be times where you just hate everything. This is OK. Don't roll your eyes. It happens to everyone. When you are about 18 you have the urge to travel. It is not just to travel, it is to leave your home. As much as it will hurt and as much as it will bring conflict to your life, follow that dream. Don't second-guess yourself. Don't hesitate. Your decision to do this is not to spite your mother or anyone else in your life. It is to make yourself happier and feel more fulfilled. Happiness is what you want! Always, always, remember this because when you are about 34 it will feel like you did it all on purpose. You did not. 

When you start your journey, remember that you are following your dream; the dream in your heart. Do not leave home forever. Your home, where you grew up, will always be part of you. So when you leave make sure you have plenty of phone calls with your mother, plenty of emails that you share. Plenty of everything. Even if it is repetitive, do it. Call every other day, email as often as possible, and later on text and Skype/FaceTime as often as possible; even on those days you don't feel like talking. Do it. Yes, you can hide certain things from her like everyone does {some details need no explanation or sharing} but do not block her out.

Enjoy every trip you take with your mom. Don't take her for granted. You won't in those moments you travel with her but when you reach a certain age you may think you did. So overdo it. Overdo it all. Take her nosy, over-mothering self not for granted. She cherishes you. She loves you. She may never say it to you but know she treasures you. She's proud of you. She lives and works for you. Don't take that for granted. Take her out and pay for her a few times. Put yourself in her shoes and think of all the hard work she put herself through in order for you to live the life you are living. So, make sure to spend a lot of time with her. You want to spend your life your way and that is fine, but force her to come out and do more things with you. Challenge yourself and your mom  to walk more, to drink more water, to eat healthier, to explore more. Together. There will be a time when she needs you to lead the way. Be a role model. She will be against change, she will be against most of what I just said you needed to do with her and she will frown and say she doesn't feel like it or doesn't want to do it or cannot afford it. Come up with an idea to make it happen. You have lots of ideas. Make it happen, Selma. Don't wait and say "one day" or "soon". Do it now!! Do it!!

You will study. You will try really hard. You will succeed. You will have some obstacles especially when it comes to money. Do not give up. Help with present itself. It will happen. You will get the support, don't worry about it. Don't frown so much, your wrinkles on your forehead will not be fun to treat so stop worrying too much. Your studies will pay off. 

Life will not be always happy. At 25 you will not be married. You will have to move back home. It will be fine. You two won't be too lonely and despite what others think or believe, you are doing well staying at home with mom because it gives you both time to spend together. 

There will be times when you feel lonely because your friends live their lives and look successful when you do not. Don't frown, it's okay. Your time will come, just later in life. You will meet your prince at the most impossible time and it will feel amazing. He will amaze you. He will shock you. He will become your best friend. You will marry this great blond guy. He will be a lot younger and yes, it will feel weird at first but no one in the end cares. You will complete each other and he will make you a very happy girl. Make sure you introduce him to mom properly. Do not wait too long. Tell her. Don't be scared. Just tell her. It will be alright. Tell her also that she will not be replaced and that she is missed. She will think you are replacing her. It is crucial to tell her that she is wrong with her assumption.

Now about the main reason I am writing this to you:

About nine months into your marriage you will learn that your mom is sick and in the hospital. You will think it will all be good. Everyone will think that way. Unfortunately, fate wants you to experience hardship. You will have the opportunity to spend three days with her and show her that you care and love her. Yet, mom will die too soon and too fast as a result of too many years popping too many pills. It will not be her fault. It will not be your fault. Do not feel guilty. You will feel guilty but stop it right there and then. You will feel weak, stupid, and just not right. You will hate yourself for not leaving earlier and spending more time with her. You have to remember that you were not allowed to travel for a while and even if you were able to spend more time with her, ask yourself the question whether or not it would have changed the outcome?! I can tell you NO.

You will not be alone after this. People will help you out. Friends and family will come and help you clean, donate, organize, support, hug, and joke with you. You will feel like shit, and you will feel very empty. You will feel a lot of emotions and it will hurt. You will get through this. The pain will linger longer than you want it to but again, it's okay. The pain will feel like a heart attack and it will bother you for months but it will be alright. Don't worry. Your heartache will be very strong. Your lungs, your shoulders and your stomach will hurt. Don't worry, and don't panic. You will spend three long months back home going through all kinds of emotions, seeing friends and family and you will return home to your new life. You will seek the help you need, and the plans you had will be postponed. You don't have to work right away. You will be crying a lot and this will be okay. Cry. Scream. Cry some more. 

Remember, you are only human. Life continues. Your heartache will leave you day by day. You will miss mom, and you will move on. You will even adopt two adorable kittens and they will bring so much joy into your life you didn't know was possible during such a hard time. Just sit down, think, and remember all the good times. Remember the trips you took with mom, the stories and inside jokes you had, the laughing-till-you-cry-and-almost-pee-yourself laughter, the food you both loved, the inspirations, the conversations...hold on to those memories. Hold on to them.

I know this wasn't easy to learn. I know it wasn't fair to tell you this. However, remember, life is like that. It can be unfair. Yet, try to learn more, explore more and live more. Go out more. Eat out more. Don't give up. Smile even when you don't feel like it. Don't ever second guess your decisions, moves and choices. You will not be alone and it will all be okay.  Trust me!

If you are crying reading this...you are welcome. You need to let your emotions embrace you. Cry when you want to cry, scream when you want to scream...let them embrace you but not stop you. You are a beautiful girl, you will be a beautiful woman, full of strength, determination, power, and love.

Now go out, explore, smile, and most importantly, hug your mom and tell her you love her!!

xo
Your older {not so insecure} self

50 Things To Throw Away NOW

Every season I clean out my closets. All of them. I get rid of clothes I no longer want to wear, haven't worn or touched for months; I go through my notebooks, stationery, pens, and magazines. I will not browse through a food magazine from 2010, and I certainly will not wear that cute shirt I bought a year ago but haven't touched in months. I also don't need four pairs of sneakers, or twelve pairs of jeans. Granted, this year it is a bit different. I brought everything I owned in Europe over here, and although I donated and tossed so much overseas already, there is always going to be an item or two I will never touch again. NOW is the time to get rid of exactly that said item{s}. We all know it's not just one item. We also certainly know our clothes are not the only drama corner in our home. There is more, and today it is time to look at what you could and probably should throw away now. 

1. Hangers from the dry cleaners
2. Hangers from the store {they really don't go well with the rest in your closet}
3. Magazines from five years ago, well, all those from 2015 and older. You know which ones.  
4. Old newspapers and newspaper clippings you will never look at again.
5. Old product boxes {mixers, TV, diffusers, shoes, etc} you know you won't ever use again. Not even to fill with Christmas gifts next year. Toss them, or donate.
6. Bills, taxes, and that paperwork over 5 years old {go paperless; being clutter free is awesome}
7. Take out menus you never ever look at again
8. Old technology {VHS tapes since you probably don't have a player anymore (if you do, then keep them), floppy disks, etc etc}
9. Old greeting cards {birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, thank you's, etc}. I love cards. I keep most but then realize I never look at them again...so why bother keeping them then? Keep a few maybe but toss the rest now!
10. Plastic cutlery, and plastic plates
11. Cutlery that is no longer working for ya {I tossed old ones away the other day taking too much space up in our drawer}
12. Plastic containers without a lid, and those having lost their original shape
13. Dried up nail polish bottles {gross!!}
14. Fake jewelry you don't wear at all; you once did but now? Nope.
15. Old towels you don't ever use and know you won't ever use again.
16. Old cellphones and covers. You won't look at those photos again, even if you wanted to. Come on, you won't.
17. Unloved toys and stuffed animals {pets or kids' toys; doesn't matter...toss or donate!}
18. Video games you will never play again
19. Expired food in the pantry and/or freezer and fridge {if it expired in 2013...I think it is time to do so}
20. Matches
21. Stretched out hair ties, old bobby pins, etc
22. Little shampoo/conditioner/gel bottles from hotels. You won't ever use them, will you?
23. Old calendars, organizers, ticket stubs, business cards, notebooks, school books, etc you won't ever touch again
24. Expired coupons
25. Holiday Decor; at least the duplicates and the ones you didn't take out last year
26. Ornaments you don't see as sentimental or cute
27. Flower pots and watering cans, unless you are having flowers of course
28. Duplicate extension cords, or cords of any kind
29. Old wallets or bags. You replaced them for a reason, so why keep the old one?
30. Clothes that are more than two sizes too small.
31. Clothes you haven't worn last year at all. Donate or toss.
32. Clothes that make you feel ugly and uncomfortable. Donate!
33. Socks, underwear, and shirts/pants with holes, worn out to the max and faded...just toss.
34. Items you bought and didn't like and wanted to return {return if you can, sell or donate}
35. Hats you don't wear or look hideous on you. You know they do.
36. Extra buttons, shoe laces, ties, stockings, leggings, and what not you know you won't ever replace or use
37. Anything that won't fit your children anymore. 
38. Cleaning supplies you thought were good but turned out not to work for you. Be gone!
39. Styling products, lotions, washes, etc you wanted to try but didn't like. Toss!
40. Bags from the mall, from parties, from grocery stores...why keep them? Toss!
41. Junk mail {in paper or online}
42. Candles you once used but haven't used in months or years
43. Cooking utensils you haven't used in a year. Donate if in good condition.
44. Touristy/Travel knick-knacks. Keep a few, toss or donate the rest.
45. Gift cards - Use them. If empty, shred!
46. Candy you bought to enjoy and somehow forgot existed. Just toss it.
47. Expired sunscreen.
48. Old batteries, and ink cartridges. Recycle them so you can get money back.
49. Plastic bottles, glass bottles, drinking can...recycle them and get money back. 
50. Broken anything. Unless you are planning on fixing that broken item this week chances are you probably will never fix it. I have been there, tried that and miserably failed. Toss, toss, toss.

There is so much more you can throw away now. This list is endless. I didn't want to bore you, nor did I want to list it all. Every household is different. Everyone has different things, but to be honest, in the end, we all have stuff to get rid of. I just threw away sunscreen which expired two years ago. It smelled great, didn't look too bad, but I think it was just plain lotion now. Plus, I had a new one bought last week. Why keep the old one?! I tossed a lot of broken anything, magazines and newspaper clippings, cellphone covers, old worn-out and faded shirts, as well as bags and boxes. It felt liberating. I feel free now. Plus, there's room now when I walk into my storage closet. Yes!

Always remember you don't have to throw away everything. You can donate {also good for tax purposes}, recycle, and even sell. Schools are great places to donate to, churches too, and well, just the simple Goodwill stores as well. We donated our couch, recliners, new looking shoes, clothes, and bags to our local Goodwill store. I even gave books and kitchen utensils away. I felt great knowing someone else is going to use the items I no longer wanted or needed.

It is a new year and it is the perfect time to start fresh. Clean out your home, one day and room at a time. Donate or toss. Feel free. Feel liberated. Feel happier. It is time to throw away at least 50 things now. Do it. You won't regret it. I promise.

xo

My Daily Routine

For weeks I thought it was time to share how my usually very boring day looks like. Most of us have a job or children or both. Some of us have neither and still manage to have a busy schedule ahead of them. For me it is a mixture of all three. And because I think it's important to note that everyone's life is different, I think it's equally important to see it in writing to make it believable, to make it real. 

 

I don't have a set routine. Most days are very similar yet can differ drastically depending on plans, events, and what not. You know, life happens. :) 

Here's what I was up to today:

• 4 am - wake up call by Lilee and Luna. Both decided it was time to snuggle with me. No idea why they choose to do this at that hour. It's a trend they have recently started. Working on getting this stopped or postponed to maybe 6?
• 5.20 am - my man came home from work. I woke up once more. Tried to go back to sleep for an extra ten minutes. Failed of course.
• 5.30 am - alarm went off. I hit the snooze button only to turn it off two minutes later.
• 5.30 am - 5.45am - shower, dress, and prep time
• 5.50 am - brew coffee and got my cereal bowl and fruit ready. Turned on the news.
• 6 am - feeding time. 
• 6.30 am - 6.45 am - left for school, although I think we left around 6.55 am. Oops.
• 7.30 - 8 am - arrived at school, found parking, and relaxed. It always depends on traffic when we arrive. Today it took us over an hour. 
•  until 8.30 am - relaxed in the car by checking emails, social media and the news once again.
• 8.30 am - 1.30pm - stayed on campus, read, took notes, waited, and talked.
• 1.30 pm - met up with my favorite person, drove home.
• 2.15 pm - got some gas, stopped by Sprouts, went home and made late lunch
• 3 pm - my man went to bed. Literally. I turned on the news, turned on my computer, worked.
• 5.15 pm - feeding time. The fur children were hungry.
• 5.30 pm - research, and small work stuff online until my man wakes up
• 6 pm - prepped dinner and play time with the fur babies
• 6.30 pm - clean, work, clean, work, clean again?!
  
  Planned ahead as of right now...
  
• 8 pm - Dinner time, finallllllly!
• 8.30 - 10.30pm - TV time with Christmas lights on
• Shortly after 10.30pm - bed time. Good night!
• No school tomorrow...just a wake up call at 4 am I am sure of it

This is more or less a typical day for me. I work from home (nothing major but at least it's something as for now) and it keeps me distracted. Also, yes my man has awkward work hours. They will be over by tomorrow!!! Having him come home so early in the morning and then having to go to school is draining. I am glad I drive him to university. No one wants a sleepy guy behind the wheel. I am exhausted. My daily routine is boring I know...but it could also be worse.

If you were wondering what's for dinner?

Tonight it's simple...white rice, mixed fall/winter veggies {hello brussels' sprouts and chestnuts}, and salmon with a curry crust. Cannot wait to eat it. Most of it is prepped already, all I have to do work on is the salmon which won't be too hard. This also reminds me to get back into my recipe posting. I have neglected it for many reasons, and now I am ready to get back into trying yummy recipes and sharing my favorites with you. Stay tuned. 

xoxo

If I Could I Would...

...send you flowers each day, especially today!

Today is my mom's birthday.
Today is a tough day.

I don't even know if I should say "today was my mom's birthday".

What is correct? What is appropriate?
All I know is that today she would have received another beautiful set of flowers, a bunch of skype and phone calls from us and much more. If I could I certainly would. If I could I would send her flowers each day. Flowers don't say much but the thought counts. 

Today is a tough day.

I am trying to distract myself with work, music, and the thought that she is now much better and that she wants me to remember her and not cry like a freaking maniac. I have cried enough and even though it is part of this whole grieving process, my face, my skin and my eyes are over this wetness I create on an almost daily basis. I have not found the perfect make-up to cover up my bags or red face I get from crying. Mom would be frowning just knowing I cry so much. She definitely frowned a lot but this time I would agree with her. It is enough.

Today is a tough day.

I will honor her with one of her favorite dishes - a dish she made a lot for me years ago. I am so glad I asked her for the recipe. Today I will cook this easy dish, drink a glass of white wine in her honor and thank her for bringing me into this world, for allowing me to be me {even though she never wanted to let go off me}, and for making me sad because my sadness shows I loved her and still do and really truly miss her wherever I am.

Happy Birthday, Mami.
I hope you are doing well wherever you are and know you are in all our thoughts. One year ago you celebrated your big birthday with family and friends...today you are hopefully seeing us celebrate you one more time, just a bit differently. 

Today is definitely tough and if I could I would send you flowers!

imagive via etsy

8 Reasons You Should Cook at Home

Cooking at home can be fun. It can also be challenging and end up in a total disaster. Yes, I know, not really what you wanted to read right at the beginning. Let's be honest though, I am no cook. I may have some cooking gene in me but I am no cook and I will never be one. When I cook I sometimes fail, and often make a huge mess. However, I love food. I cannot stand chain restaurants, wanna-be restaurants {a.k.a. fast food places} or prepared frozen dishes. My love for food is real guys. I love a well prepared meal; a meal made from scratch. I love when I get as many nutrients in as possible. That being said, it is not easy to get them all in at once, let alone find an affordable place that does not rip you off with micro meals that leave you starving. So I have to cook it all myself. 

I hated the idea of cooking all the time. I wanted to get served. Yes, spoiled I know. However, I learned that cooking at home can be fun, and a great way to connect with your senses as well as with your special someone, and hey, a great way to get back in shape and feel good about yourself.

Here are a few tips on why you should cook at home {AND meal plan}...even on your worst days!!!  

1. It saves money. Literally. 

2. You could eat your favorite childhood dish every single day - just saying.
3. You can plan meals ahead of time {one week, two weeks, or even for a month} and not stress out.
4. Your partner or kids can help cook. This makes a fun date night, trust me.
5. Cooking from scratch is simply healthier!
6. You know exactly what goes into your pot and eventually mouth & body.
7. When planning meals ahead of time you become a better grocery shopper. Knowing what you need and not getting distracted by "potential deals" along the way will save you time and money! No more impulsive shopping!
8. Finding out you are creative can be rewarding. When you cook something new {Pinterest is a great help} you learn that cooking at home can be fun, very easy {don't go for a full on heavy dish that takes up half of your kitchen, budget, nerves and time!}, and that cooking is not scary at all will eventually make you feel accomplished, proud, and filled with joy. Plus, when your significant other tells you the meal was a blast and that it needs to be repeated soon you know you did well.

Are you cooking at home?

Am I the only one planning meals ahead of time or do you do that as well?

I plan our meals two to four weeks ahead of time. That way we use what we already have in our pantry and add some fun to our week by creating a new dish or so. Plus, we don't end up buying items we won't ever use.

Any fun recipes I should consider cooking next?

My favorite and easiest to make is still my one pan Mexican Quinoa Dish.

Have a fantastic day my lovelies.

xoxo

two last images via here | here

Home is Where the Heart is

This summer started off by being shocking, draining, and just downright sad. I have come to terms with what happened. Not saying I am over it or not grieving anymore. However, there is nothing left in me that denies what happened or fights the idea of what happened. Life happens. I have to remind myself every day that everyone fights some sort of a battle; whether it is an illness, the loss of something or someone, a broken home, or just a really really bad day. I am not alone. We are all in this together but we walk our own walk and fight our own fight - with or without the help of friends or family. 

When I went home this year I never imagined to go through what I had to go through. Granted I knew this day would come but didn't expect it to arrive this early and suddenly. Either way, I am proud of how I handled it and how I tried to make myself smile and enjoy my hometown for a while. I realized that home to me is not merely where I grew up or where I feel safest. It's a combination of many things including safety, happiness, memories, a place that allows me to be me, and a place that allows me to grow in all directions. Home is certainly also where the heart is. 

So where is my heart?

It is definitely in Northern California, in Southern California, in Istanbul, and in Luzern. Each one of these area offers another definition to what I call home. Luzern is my hometown. I was born and raised there. I have friends there. I have memories there. I will return to visit. Istanbul is home to me as well. I have family and friends there. I have memories there. I can be me, and this city allows me to grow and be astonished every year I return to it. Southern California is home to be because I felt happiest there while in the US. It allowed me to be me and grow. I feel safe there and have memories there as well, even though nothing beats Europe. Northern California. Who knew I would return after I left it 15 years ago? NorCal and I have a special bond. I am beginning to like it again, and make memories with my favorite person. It allows me to be me but so far I have yet to find that new me. Time will tell. Sunsets, too.

In short...my home is where I am physically - right now. However, my mental state still lingers in other places. I know this will change, I just don't know when. You'd think it is only in Northern California since we chose to move and live here, yet, I don't know...it is not yet home home.

Where is your home?
Is it where you currently live, or where you grew up?
Or it is somewhere else?

My A to Z Travel

I believe it is time to stop my blog hiatus and return to normalcy. After all, I have always claimed that writing is a tool that heals, comforts, and lets us escape from whatever is happening in our lives. I took this hiatus to spend time with myself, away from pressure, from reading, from anything that would force me to sit in front of a computer...I slept a lot, I rested even more {and no that is not the same as sleeping}, and it occurred to me that doing this is part of my healing process but it's not enough. Plus, I need to get back into life, into shape, into my daily inspirations to look forward to doing something or living beautifully. So here I am. I saw this post the other day and thought that this was the perfect way for me to start getting happier, and write more uplifting posts. July has been an awesome month and I am improving daily; baby steps but I can feel it.

So, here we go!

A) Age you went on your first international trip:

I was barely two and we went to Trinidad and Tobago. We stayed for a few months. All I have left of this time are photos and the memory of dreams I had when I was around four. Crazy.

B) Best foreign beer you’ve had and where:

Define foreign? I grew up in Switzerland so anything outside that is foreign...then in the US, anything outside that is foreign to me as well. To be honest, I like beer but can live without. Also, due to my gluten allergy I am now drinking Sorghum Beer which is pretty okay and it's made in Colorado. Not at all foreign.

C) Cuisine (favorite): 

Turkish, Spanish, Italian, Mexican, and Japanese. Well, just food that makes me happy. As long as it's delicious and makes me stuffed I'm a very happy girl.

D) Destinations–favorite, least favorite, and why?:

Favorite: Istanbul, Berlin, and San Francisco {home, history, home and memories...and SF reminds me of Europe} - I am sure there are more favorite places but these came up first.

Least favorite: as much as I like Greece, I did not enjoy my trip there. It's very similar to Turkey so I had no issues, the views were awesome...the people were unfriendly though and it felt like they just wanted to throw stuff at us and not even "handle" us "tourists". Sad sad.

E) Event you’ve experienced abroad that made you say “wow”:

Waking up in Yosemite at 5.30 in the morning...that clear blue sky and crisp fresh air? Pure perfection on an upcoming hot summer's day {and yes, Yosemite is not technically abroad for most of you}, and just waking up and knowing that you'll experience something eventful that day...that is a wow moment all to itself.

F) Favorite mode of transportation:

Public transportation...mainly in Europe. I also enjoy the buses/Muni in San Francisco. Other than that I love being the passenger in a car gazing outside the window and taking it all in...lets me escape for a few minutes. Also, I like to look into cars and find the most obscure things people do in cars. 

G) Greatest feeling while traveling:

When I travel I love to see how other people live. I see the regular "boring" sights everyone wants or should see when traveling...but then I'd like to escape outside that bubble and get a feel of what life really is like in those countries or even cities. It makes me appreciate the things I have. We take way too much for granted and believe life is like that everywhere, but this is not true. So traveling and getting to know a place from another perspective...that's what is fascinating. That is what makes traveling perfect. Plus, getting off the plane...that's another great feeling I get when traveling. I made it!

H) Hottest place you’ve ever traveled to:

Spain and Portugal...the heat was unbearable. Turkey was hot too but holy cow, Portugal almost killed us.

I) Incredible service you’ve experienced and where?:

I have not yet fully experience incredible service...I have experienced great service but nothing outstanding that deserves mentioning.

J) Journey that took the longest:

Going back to and coming back from Europe always takes the longest. Non-stop flights are awesome, just those 12+ hours suck big time. Yet, in the end it's worth it.

K) Keepsake from your travels:

Magnets, handmade jewelry, scarves, and just one piece of clothing. Always!!!

L) Let-down sight, where and why?:

Hmmmm...nothing really yet. I always try to enjoy everything while at a place...no matter how long I stay. If I missed seeing something it saddens me for a little while but it's okay...the memories I have made are enough.

M) Moment where you fell in love with traveling:

I traveled a lot when I was a child and a teenager, thanks to having family all over the world, so I guess I was born into this. I had no choice but to fall in love with traveling. 

N) Nicest hotel you’ve stayed in:

The one in Bodrum, Turkey and one in Berlin. I consider nice as just simple, no problems occurred, and the staff was friendly enough to make me feel at home away from home.

O) Obsession–what are you obsessed with taking pictures of while traveling?:

The ocean or the sea, animals, landscape, countryside, food, sunsets, and old buildings.

P) Passport stamps-how many and from where?:

My passport has been renewed so many times, so my stamps are rare these days as they don't stamp it all the time. :(  Latest and most stamps are from Turkey and the US. Any other ones in my older ones were from England, Spain, Portugal, France, Italy, Germany, Austria, The Netherlands, Greece, and some other places I can't recall. Switzerland doesn't stamp my Swiss passport...haha. I wish. I often travel with my ID in Europe so no stamps, and in the US...I don't need a passport. :(

Q) Quirkiest attraction you’ve visited and where?:

Nothing really...

R) Really Frightening: where’s one place you’ve visited where you felt unsafe or uneasy?

Paris, after they had to close down a street and a whole area for security reason. They found suspicious boxes or so and had to get the bomb squat come out. It was close to where we lived. Not the most fun thing to experience.

S) Splurge-something you have no problem spending money on while traveling:

Food, and a souvenir clothing item. :D

T) Touristy thing you’ve done:

I always do all kinds of touristy things...but the best and most fun touristy thing is to play tourist in your own city. Love pretending to be a tourist in a place I can walk around blind-folded.

U) Unforgettable travel memory:

NYC with my mom, uncle, aunt, and cousin many many years ago. But for the last travel memory...my trip to Istanbul this month where I spent five wonderful days with family, honored mom, and tried to suck as much Istanbul in as even possible. I just love this city.

V) Visas-how many and for where?:

A student visa but that was it and has long expired. Nothing else so far.

W) Wine–best glass while traveling:

Portugal!! It worked perfectly with our food. YUM.

X) eXcellent view and from where?

Love to hike up a hill in Laguna Beach and just overlook the city and Pacific Ocean. It calms and refreshes me. The sunset in Istanbul, overlooking the European side, is one spectacular view too, and most tourists fail to see this because they never cross over to explore the Asian side of this gigantic city.

Y) Years spent traveling:

Since I was a young child.

Z) Zealous sports fans and where?:

Not really a sports fan...if I had to choose, maybe Monaco when the Grand Prix motor race takes place.

Have an amazing Monday, and an amazing week. I am packing up my last belongings and getting ready to reunite with my favorite person. We have been apart for way too long and we have lots to catch up on. I also know he will help me heal and find my way again. This is not what one has in mind during their first year of marriage but life is full of surprises and our first year has definitley hit some rough moments but we are strong and we can do this. I am so counting down the days. So ready to be back home again. So so ready!!!

Which are your A to Z of traveling? Would love to know!

Your Journey Happens for a Reason

Happy Monday everyone!!

How was your weekend?
Mine? Well, as usual I tried to spend it as casually as possible. I stayed home most of the time, watched a ton of girlie movies, drank a lot of water and tea, ate bounty {chocolate covered coconut bars - and if you know me long enough you know I don't like chocolate but bounty? YES please}, and just enjoyed hanging out in my jammies. That is how I roll these days. Not too shabby.

Also, I had the privilege to enjoy a sunny Sunday afternoon...we drove around for over one hour in hopes to find a nice place to park and walk around and guess what? It wasn't possible. So we ended up going back to my friend's place and ate dessert in a restaurant nearby. It was a great afternoon, but one that exhausted us. My friend's newborn girl however was the champ...no crying, no complaining, just constant sleeping and funny facial expressions. Gotta love babies. 

And...I woke up to an email my FIL wrote to me. He has daughter hugs withdrawals and wishes I was there. Totally made my morning. I will fly home in three weeks folks. Three weeks...cannot wait. I have been away for too long...but what can I say?! Mom wanted me to stay a little longer and she got her wish...I just have to let go of her and our memories for right now, just as much as she let go of me years ago when I decided to move to the US. I have family there now, and I want to be happy there. I will always love my hometown and I will always return, even to visit mom and bring her her favorite flowers but I have to move on and live the life I was meant to live. So knowing my family awaits me and will be there to support me once arrived means the world to me. I am sad but I am hopeful because I have a great support system behind me, and those doggies?! Yes, those doggies will kiss me like they haven't kissed me before {sounds gross now, just re-reading it}. 

I am counting down the days I am going back home embracing my favorite person, hugging everyone, and moving forward. This journey happened for a reason and it is okay. It's part of my life and it will only make me stronger!!!!

Have a fabulous day. Send me some happy vibes though...I always need them.

xoxo

image via here