March 30, 2009

California

Home Sweet Home!!
Yes, I'm here, and yes, I'm tired.
When I look out of my window all I see is the sun, palm trees, boats, and blue sky. Can't say more except for I LOVE IT!! For those that live here all year long it is boring, eventually you get sick of it and maybe even want to move away. Coming back here during a time where I have to find my way around in life and where winter is still very present back in Europe...I love seeing spring emerge. I woke up at 6.30am, ate some breakfast and now am going out walking around...along the beach, along streets and houses I'd missed over the past few months...just enjoying the moment!! Can't wait.

Happy Monday!!!

March 24, 2009

Days Like This

Weekend's over and it's again that time where nothing seems to go right. I'm terribly bored and by that I mean deadly bored. It's just terrible. Can't even describe how much. Though the good side is I had a terrific weekend. Had fun on Saturday until early in the morning and a great time on Sunday, too. I'm actually still full from all the food we ate...it sure was worth going and spending the money!!!
Though now, I'm just plainly bored which drives me crazy. I went out today just to get some fresh air but it didn't really cheer me up. I should mention that it's 35 degrees max., and so things right now aren't really appealing at the moment. Looking forward to going away. Now even more than before. Honestly I wasn't really into the whole traveling thing. This is also why I might not return to CA after this trip. I'd love to but I guess I have to sort of stop going so the very next time I'm over there I'm going to enjoy it even more. Who knows.

Days like this...a song by Van Morrison...a great song actually.
Sums up my mood...and the song is one that encourages me to explore more of whatever is out there. Suitcase here I come...this song's going to cheer me up a little, I'm sure.

Nothing right now seems to fall into place...or is it just the fact that I'm bored....????

March 18, 2009

Running

Liberty
T
he book I'm reading talks about it and I just read a blog about pretty much the same thing. Coincidence? Maybe. Hopefully. And to top it, my life's a little messy right now and I just talked to my friend who didn't understand what was happening with me. In all that craziness I forgot to tell her I'm flying to Los Angeles in ten days. That's how messy things are right now. We've known each other since 7th grade, live in the same city about max. 10 minutes away from each other, though she works about 90 minutes away and has a commute each day that makes it almost impossible to see each other on a regular basis. However, we try our best to keep in touch and stay updated until NOW. Messy! So we talked, and I was able to liberate myself...telling her how I feel about life, future issues, my trip to California, work, school...the usual crazy stuff. It felt good. Didn't know it was possible to free oneself of guilt, loneliness, and frustration in about ten minutes over the phone. Or almost.
Am I happy? Of course...not. At least not entirely. Why so? Don't ask. About a year ago my uncle sent me an article that described how young people feel these days. I thought he was nuts but it turned out he knew exactly how I felt, and how hard it must be to live in this unknown stage of constant weirdness. The article described how young people aged 21 to 35 have difficulties distinguishing themselves. In any kind of way...may it be in a job, school, family, friends...anything... I continued reading and it turned out the article was right. Years ago, and I mean years ago, people attended school, went on to college and accomplished whatever there had to be accomplished. They knew what they wanted and got it right away. Say, a guy knew he wanted to become a doctor...he went for it. Another knew she wanted to become some sort of insurance person...the educational part was done and there she was sitting in her office dealing with numbers and people. Today, we do go to school and deal with similar things our parents had to deal with while attending school (granted, things changed)...and then we get trapped. Or distracted. There are a million possibilities for us to conquer the world and our future. More than a million. We are trapped unless we really and certainly know what we want in life. And as the article pointed out only about 3% knows what to do after school. The rest (me included) is wishing and dreaming and maybe even trying...but never fully happy about the result or too scared to even try. Our parents have certain expectations of us and we want to make them proud but at the same time we want to grow...spiritually, physically, mentally, you name it. We want to see the world, discover the unknown, experience new adventures, meet more people ...the world is open to us...more open than when our parents and grandparents were at our age. We got hooked on what is out there and we want to have and see it all...we want to escape from our known world and learn more...our horizon needs to be widened and we so need this. I know I'm not alone...the article and so many other things among blogs, letters, conversations showed me this....I know we're all in the same mess. I'm glad we are. Aren't you?!

So, as for today...liberty is my word.
I freed myself from a little bit of guilt, tiny bit of loneliness and frustration. The rest I have to figure out later. Happiness will one day be found! Life's full of crazy moments, and frankly I'm thankful for that. It keeps me going, it should keep you going as well...though don't run, you might miss exactly what you were looking for...


P.s. In case you were wondering, my blog titles are all song titles. They usually have something to do with my current mood or situation...as it says...crazy little world of mine...

March 17, 2009

Home


Home to me is where I feel most comfortable, energized, healthy, happy, and like myself. It doesn't matter if it's the same place I live in or was born in...it's where I feel most myself at any given time. This picture was taken last year around August. This wooden bridge with its water tower is one of our city's famous sights. I work just across from that bridge. Walking to work in the morning when everything and everyone is slowly waking up and the sky calmly lights up as well...that's the best moment you can get. At least for me.

The sun just came out. Makes me believe it's warm outside even though it's only like 40 degrees. It might warm up to the lower 50s but who knows. It's just still cold, though beautiful. The grass is recovering from a very heavy winter, birds sing along and some crazy people think it's summer and walk around with short sleeves but the trees with their bare branches let us know it's not over yet...the cold is coming back. Home to me at this very moment!
I'm sitting here writing this and wondering why I'm not getting dressed so I can go outside...
Though well, I rather stay inside and wait a little longer...

...until summer really hits our area and that might take months. Reasons for quick trips to Italy where the sun's out pretty much every day, or longer trips like my next one to one of my favorite places in the western part of the world. ;-) Two more weeks and I'm there. I call it home, too.

March 15, 2009

Born and Raised

There are times I hate living in Europe. There are times I love it to death! Right now, it's the latter part that influences and inspires me. I love this area, and the fact that I can be in Italy, Germany, France or even Austria in less than two hours. I just love it. I love having the opportunity at hand and not having to travel like crazy to get to a different country. I love seeing the difference and being able to acknowledge it, too. Living in my part of Europe is the best. Yes, it sounds and maybe is conceited but hey...it's the truth.
Where I come from (the city and suburbs) we believe that it is our heart. We never betray it, and never leave it. Even if we decide to live some place else we stick to our place. Our city is our breath, our heartbeat, our blood, our life. We are proud of who we are and where we come from. It's not the regular pride you might be familiar with, it's something completely else. Something impossible to describe. You have it in you. I'm not even sure if you can earn that feeling by moving to our city. We are born and raised with this urge to love and keep that specific emotion in us.
There were moments I thought I lost that feeling but was soon reminded that I can never lose it. Just yesterday, my girls and I went to a concert. It was in our city, and the artist comes from a town about 40 minutes away. He recently moved to our city though. We honor him just for that. We love him just for that...not to mention that his music is brilliant. It's sort of R&B, Soul, Funk...a mixture of almost everything...he uses his voice to clearly describe how he felt while having written his songs and boy, he's got a great voice (especially for a man!!). Sometimes we call him the Swiss Justin Timberlake, just way better!!! ;-) His music inspired me again. Made me believe in my place...love it even more. It's weird I know but I had doubts about what I want in my life (still do sometimes) but that concert sort of gave me hope.
To top my weekend...we spontaneously decided to wake up early on Sunday and head south to Italy! Never ever say NO to such an idea! Never! So, yes, I woke up at 6.30am, and got out around 7.30 just to be in Italy by 9.45. The sun was out (no rain anymore), it was 10 degrees warmer and we were literally on the other side of the border using a different currency! Nice! We had a blast! Lunch we had back in CH, though in the Italian part which is basically still pretty much Italy somehow. The sun was still out and we enjoyed every single second. This again, showed me how beautiful this place is...how wonderfully filled it is with great places, awesome people and a chance to enjoy life as it all comes along.

I sure had fun...so wanna do this again some day!!!

March 13, 2009

Maybe Tomorrow

Great, I finally made it...I started my very own blog. I've had this idea for so long and never really had the guts to start and write. Now though, I think I'm ready and it's time. There might be times when people hate what I have to say or don't like how and what I think, so, I'd like to apologize in advance.
Life is full of obstacles, craziness, love, hatred, sadness, and confusion. My life's not any different. Writing always helps. No matter how awful a day was, or how excited one is...writing does help. No matter where you are. So, this blog hopefully captures my moods, thoughts, dreams, hopes and fears no matter where I go and how I breathe.

Thank you for reading and I'll be updating soon...just give me a little time

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