November 30, 2009


It's December and yes, we know, holiday season.
I try to be more chipper and happier these days so if I bore you with my silliness I'm so sorry. haha!!
This week I have a few things to do; first I need to have my contact lenses checked (yes, I do wear them - and love them). Appointment is made for Thursday. I would love to get new glasses, too, but my face is just not made for glasses. :(  Second, even though I don't like shopping over here I think I need to do some. For me. Yes. Selfish. New clothes (hopefully Christmasy) are needed, and wanted, and well just I have my budget and I'm trying to work with that. Oh boy. It's going to be tough!!! Third... I'm also trying to limit my free time aka my coffee time with my GBL's to one time only, two tops. Oh boy. You read how expensive one is over here so I don't want to spend eight bucks more than just once a one and get one hell of a drink and cherish every single sip until the last drop is gone! My motto for the next few weeks. Oh, and fourth...if everything's still going like scheduled I'll be leaving Friday evening for Germany! Wish me luck, and please don't ask why it may be cancelled!!! Thanks.

So, to get started with some holiday/winter fun....I found these pictures...

All pictures from We ♥ It!

Happy Holidays!!!
23/24 days left!!
Happy Tuesday!


The best winter ever, with lots of snow and lots of sunshine and blue sky, I had this January and February. I spent one of the most amazing weeks in and around Philadelphia and loved winter for the first time in years. Can you believe this?! I don't like when it's cold, I hate snow, and I hate it when I have to bundle up for no real reason so I won't freeze to death. Though experiencing winter on the East Coast was one fantastic thing...I can't put it in words. I loved it. Nonetheless I'm still not a fan of winter...the season in "normal" regions where it snows and gets down to 20 degrees. Yuck. I'm the sunshine girl preferably wearing flip flops 24/7. I prefer warm weather all year the high 60s to mid 70s, with the occasional wind blowing and fog but that is about it. :) Yeah, keep on dreaming...
...but what I wanted to say is this:

It's been snow raining the entire day and for some very odd reason I like it a lot!
Well, that is all until I found out my shoes are not made for this time of year even though they are winter shoes and were especially made for this season and all but apparently it was all a lie and now I have cold and wet feet. The snow literally put me into winter here you go...I wish my fingers weren't frozen so I could call these pictures mine...all from We ♥ It!


Just keep breathing

This past week has been some sort of a rollercoaster.

Monday was a great day. I woke up, did what I had to do, went to the IMAX theater and then had red wine literally thrown at me. The day felt great. I felt good.
Tuesday was quiet but also fun. I went to IKEA with my friend, and her kids and had a ton of fun talking to three-year olds asking me silly questions about life and everything else. I wish I could be this open and  unknown sometimes.
Wednesday started out okay until I left the house. At around 2 or 3 in the afternoon I started feeling's that kinda feeling you shouldn't be getting when outside, or inside or at any time because you don't really know how to control it properly. The feeling scared me but it went away after about thirty minutes.
The same unfortunately happened on Thursday. I went grocery shopping with mom and out of nowhere I couldn't handle it anymore. I started to sweat, and feel uncomfortable. This sensation is indescribable, but it's there and you feel it, and it scares you. All I wanted is to get outta there and sit down or lie down. It was clearly impossible. Oh, I went out and had my bottle of coke with me. A real tranquillizer. I'm officially addicted. Joke aside, I felt worse than a year ago. In the middle of nowhere tears came down and I felt alone. Very much alone. Just my bottle and I and my thoughts to leave and go home. Mom checked on me, and all I could say was "I need to go home NOW". She understood. So we went. I cried on the way home. I couldn't hold it in anymore. The second I arrived home I cried even harder and just lay down and slept.

What in the world was that?! Oh, I know what it was, heck what it is. It's one of those incredibly exhausting panic attacks. They are like enemies checking on you when you least expect them and want them to appear. But they don't care and just surprise ya. They don't care if you're having a good time, or are out and about shopping for food with your mom, or just in public. They come unannounced and bother you. Luckily it didn't last long, but it did happen. It's been happening for months now. My enemy has been part of me for years, but its real face was shown one year ago. Sometimes I wonder why it is happening to me. Why it chose me. Some say, it is because I worry too much. Though I have to worry, I have to know where I'm going and what my future is going to be like. I don't want to know what I'm going to be doing in five years because let's face it I don't want to know plus even if, it would not turn out the way I had planned it. But, I would love to know what next year is going to be like. If I'm going back to school (PLEASE!!!), because my horizon is shrinking and I don't want this to happen. I already feel stupid, and useless. You may say "no, don't feel stupid because you're not...etc etc" but I will still feel that way. Maybe less but it's true. Why?!
Funny...I stayed home the entire weekend. Literally. Never ever left the house. Sure it's nice, once in a while but not every freakin' weekend. Why I don't go out and do something?! Tell me!!! WHAT?! I've done everything and seen everything here. There's nothing I can do. Going out on a Saturday night would be fun again, but I dread the public these days and I hate all the smoke filled clubs, so I won't go there. Everyone else has apparentely no problem whatsoever and goes out. On Sundays everything is closed so whatever I do feel like doing is not even possible. Plus, I can't stand to do things on my own anymore. I've done this for the past four years and it's exhaustingly boring and pathetic. I need something new. I need something that makes me go out again, even in broad daylight. Plus, have I mentioned that my horizon is shrinking?! That is the worst for me. I feel as if nothing can stimulate me, make me think and believe anymore. Isn't this awful?!
I know I've been wallowing in my self pity for weeks, even months and yes, I do apologize for that. Then again, I shouldn't. It's who I am today. Not sure if it's a good thing but it's the way it is.
And I can't really say how much writing helps. It's my therapy; my best friend these days. Pathetic? Maybe. And maybe not.

Weeks ago I wrote that my mom is supporting my decision...lately I have to say I don't think so anymore. The only person I could rely on is now ignoring me and laughing at me. This hurts a lot. If you ever lived abroad, away from home and friends and everything else familiar to you...before you made that particular choice...did your parents laugh at you?! Did they? Or even just one of them?

Well, with that all said or written down and a lot more in my head I'm going to say BYE November. I was looking forward to seeing you but honestly you made 2009 even worse for me. Not sure why but I'm sure you have your reasons and one day I'll understand.

December is on its way. Wow!!!

P.s. Any advice how to get rid of decision making anxiety?! Ha!!!!

November 29, 2009

Sunday's Thought...So Random

Lately, I've been thinking a lot; maybe too much at times. I get kind of put in some sort of nostalgia I don't want to be in but can't leave because whatever keeps me thinking and looking back is part of me and even though it's nice to look back it saddens me. This year is almost over. Pretty much one more month and we have to train our brains to write down 2010 ...
...where did this year go?! Really. How come it's already late November and most of our Christmas decoration is out already?! Where did the time go?! Why so fast?

I'm sure there are some of us that love the fact that this year is over because 2010 will bring new excitement into life. Whether it is an upcoming wedding, or a baby on its way, graduation, a new job or a new home. But there are also people out there that don't want 2009 to end. I'm not sure which category I fit in. On one hand I did a lot in 2009 but it also was one of the worst years. I wanted it to be different and to be better. 2008 was already bad, and I wished for something nicer. Then again, this year was ok. I traveled which was definitely a plus, but I also had some struggles to overcome and find peace within me. So far the latter part is just not found yet.

Though I know ways to cheer me up...or at least to distract myself.

For one it is the internet. Reading other blogs, playing silly farm and fish games on facebook...and it's also watching TV and catching up on so many shows and movies, and well, reading books. The latter one has been part of my life for quite some time. In high school we were literally forced to read books. Books I would never ever touch and would not necessarily recommend but hey, it was time to read these giant novels and ancient stories. I touched some other, non-high school must-read books to distract myself from trying to understand German literature and was okay with it. But I never caught the reading fever until about nine years ago. From that point on I started reading whatever was appealing. I read psychology books, books about dreams, about magicians, Shakespeare, Japanese writers, English lit in general, chick lit, bestsellers, regular books, books my mom read, and books being mentioned in magazines, or that just looked cool while waiting on a shelf. I read tons. I still do. The only thing I never read and never will (I'm so sorry y'all) is Harry Potter books. Just can't. Not sure entirely why but I can't and I won't. I may be missing out on something, but so far I've been okay with that.
Reading helps me cope with whatever is going on with and around me. It makes me dream, and it makes me escape this world just for a few minutes or maybe hours. Certain books have this strong power over me that make me believe in what is written and focus more. Eat Pray Love was on of those books. Now, it is The Time Traveler's Wife. Last year it was Nineteen Minutes. And about five years ago it was The DaVinci Code and A Million Little Pieces. There are a lot more books I could mention but it wouldn't fully accummulate the power and energy these books have given me over the past years and months.


Reading this book right this it. Can't seem to put it makes me want to read it even more whenever it's not in near sight. I haven't seen the movie yet. But knowing the actors and now reading about their characters makes me visualize the book even more. It's fascinating. Confusing at times but so beautifully written I want to jump right into that book. 

So much for Sunday.
Don't be fouled with my "happy sound" because I'm not there but still...happy Sunday!!!


November 28, 2009

Happy Weekend!

Are you still full, or recovering from a long shopping day???!!!!
Either way, happy weekend everyone!!!

I'm going to relax at home, read a book, eat spicy chips, drink coke and hot choclate, and just be.
I don't feel like writing or sharing anything today. Sorry. It's one of those days.
More to that later. Hopefully.


November 26, 2009

Ugly Truth. Keep It To Yourself!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Time went by rather quickly and most of you are away back home with family and friends to celebrate a nice Thanksgiving weekend...a long one. Hope you are having a great day, a great rest of the week, and an even greater time wherever you are and whatever you are doing!!! :)

Anyhow...I caught up on my blog reading and even though I simply couldn't answer all of your wonderful writings I just learned (again) that some of you had some ugly encounters with ugly comments (again). You aren't alone and you aren't the first ones and unfortunately also not the last ones.
So far I've been blessed enough receiving nice comments, supportive ones too and I love you all for that. Thanks a million. I just wonder WHY do  people even bother writing ugly stuff onto other people's blogs and literally tell them they suck and hate them?! I mean, why?! Are we in kindergarten? Apparently. 6th grade?! Maybe. I just think it's stupid and very very very immature. 

To me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one here, blogs are like journals. Diaries. Maybe not so intimate diaries but you know what I mean. You want to share things with others, write down what's on your mind and just keep things on here so you can look back at pretty much everything at some time in the future. I think it's a great thing, and that is partly also why I started blogging. But that I won't discuss right now. Maybe some other time. So, blogs are here for everyone. Not everyone has the same taste, or style and therefore all of our blogs are unique and just represent ourselves. Right?! Hope so. So, whatever we have to say, or write about we just do it. Sometimes we may not, but this is totally up to the writer. Right?! Hope so. Well, last I checked my blog belongs to me, and I can and will write whatever I want to share and say. I'm not going to sugar code stuff (so far it has not come close to, and I won't try to please you as my lovely readers. It is my blog and my thoughts, and my life so to speak. You do the same on yours. It's your blog after all. Right? Hope so.
Well, that is what I don't understand...why do other people, apparent writers as well, try to ruin the fun with ugly comments?! It's ok if you don't like what others have to say. You don't have to like everyone and everything. But do you have to point it out?! Leave the blog and find another one you like. Plus, the worst of all I think is when haters leave anonymous comments...pretty lame! So, even though your ugly comments aren't much wanted if you feel like sharing your ugliness and harsh words stand up for what you believe (or not) in. Be true to yourself and let others know who you are. Don't hide. We aren't. And if you think it's better to leave the name away...then please, just leave the blog, too and stop writing shitty stuff.

You may wonder...nothing has happened to her, so why does she bother with that topic?
Well, as I mentioned above blogs are like journals and I write whenever I feel like it. Like most of you. And I once wrote that writing helps. No matter when and how. So, I feel like writing. So much is going through my head right now I can't think straight. So, while catching up on blogs I came across some stories by my fellow blog friends and just thought it was worth writing about it. If you don't like it, it is okay. I don't blame you. It's rather silly I know (since it hasn't happened to me) but it's something that makes me think - a lot. And I feel like writing about it so let me, please. Thank you.
Now, if you take my sentence "writing helps, no matter where and how" then don't think you can harrass me with ugly comments. I meant and always mean that writing helps but on your own damn blog!!!! Not on mine, and not on anyone else's nice blog either. Stop it. Bother your own blog if you even have one and let us nice bloggers alone. It may not be worth even writing to you, talking about you, and you may not even read this but I don't care. It's what it is. My blog with my thoughts. Period!!!

So, with that said...I'm thankful for my own blog.
Its style changes a lot, depending on my mood, life issues and's what it is. Crazy. Strange. Random. You name it. I'm also thankful to have found great people on here. I'm also thankful to have some sort of a shelter and don't have to sleep on the street (ok, drastic but it could be worse), I'm thankful for my friends whom I miss every day, but am also thankful for the very few friends I have where I am. In addition I'm also thankful for my laptop still running, my camera, my health (so far), my book collection (I know it's weird), my life so far with its constant downs and very few ups (but there's always a reason behind this), and I'm thankful for just being even able to be thankful. I'm even thankful for my daily coffee and the fact my favorite bakery here got rid of its fabulous donuts. They were awesome, just like DD's. Dunkin Donuts doesn't exist here so having had some other chance to get yummy sugery donuts was a blessing. They got rid of them about five months ago and shattered my world but today I'm thankful for exactly that act. Less calories for me. haha. I'm thankful for materialistic things (so lame, I know) and for all the other items, moments, things that have enhance my life so far. I never thought I'd be doing what I'm doing at my age, at this place, right now and I do want to change all that, but for right's good the way it is. It could be worse. I coule be broke, incredibly sick, injured, or worse.
So I am thankful for being me, today and now; with everything that comes with it...

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!
Havea  great holiday!!!


P.s. Oh boy this one ended up being longer than I wanted. :(

November 25, 2009

Happy almost Thanksgiving

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Today I'm thankful for being alive.
That's it. We are given this precious gift and sometimes we seem not to charish it fully.
See, yesterday my friend and I drove an hour north to get to an IKEA store. It's not one of my favorite stores but it brings back memories and it makes me buy more candles (which I'm also thankful for). Apple-cinnamon scented. While driving we got hit almost three times by some idiotic honk all the time was fun!!! But the whole thing behind it wasn't. I was scared. She was scared. Plus, we were five people in that car...clearly indicating we had kids on board. No one cares. It's just so sad. So yeah. It could have been worse that is for sure but it was enough for us. So, I'm definitely thankful for being alive - in any kinda way.

I'm also thankful for the person(s) coming up with Vanish OxyAction... the red wine stains are gone!! I don't see any anymore. At first I thought there was one left but I think it's my imagination trying to find something that's not there. This is definitely super exciting. However, next time I'm using that top again I will check again in every kind of angle and light. Just to make sure.

And, I'm also thankful for everyone reading this!!! You know who you are!

Wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving tomorrow!!!!


November 24, 2009

Monday recap...

Monday was a good day until I got wet and started a swearing rampage. The latter part wasn't as drastic.
Well, I had my GBL (grande of course) which cost $8.40 so yes, that is expensive. :(
Anyway...I met most of my co-workers at the bus station and then we headed over to the IMAX and watched Dinosaurs in 3D. At one point I thought I would get hit by one of them but that was mainly it. Most of us got headaches...we all expected more of the movie about those giant creatures but hey, the movie was for free so no real complaining again. We then took the bus again to go back to the city center and had some Bosnian appetizers...very yummy. Then we headed to our final destination and dinner was good. Everything was just nice and cozy and all until some people decided to leave early, which I don't blame them because most of them have to work from 6.30 am again.
We were also allowed to bring our spouses...of course I didn't bring anyone but my good humor, and my obvious health problem but I was doing fine. Took my medicine and felt like a little baby all warm and happy. ;) Then, on our table was this couple...he works in the restaurant, and she well is his wife or whatever you want to call her because their partnership is just very weird and very just not understandable but I'm not judging. Anyhow, she stands up and knocks over a wine glass. A full wine glass. Red wine! On me!!! Thank you! That's when I started using some not so healthy words some may say but just because of her reaction. You know what she said to me? Go and get some mineral water! My reaction was...why don't you get that mineral water for me, because you are to blame for all that. Oh no, why should I? And then she left. Home. Bye.
So, my reaction to this scenario...I think I don't have to explain that one.
My evening was done, right there and then. 

click on pic for source

So, I woke up very early today, and started doing some laundry. Hopefully the red wine stains are gone by the time all four items of mine are dried up!!! If not...
Don't wanna go there.

On a much better and happier note...
Lately it's that time of year again...the time of annoying phone calls. At home. You see, in the telephone book over here next to the phone number most people have this little black star next to it. This star means that the person does not want to be bothered with ridiculously annoying phone calls by strangers, companies trying to sell stuff and all that crap. So, my phone number has this star. Most of the time it works. Not for the past week though. I realized that I got calls every morning or around noon, sometimes around 5pm...the caller ID shows "private" which means the number is blocked. I'm not picking up the phone when I don't know the number or well, in this case, don't even see a freakin' number. But it got on my nerves.
So, yesterday, before I went out to get my coffee and dinosaur fun, I got this call again. Pissed, but determined to answer it this time so the calls would end, I picked it up. I only spoke English. The reaction was hilarious. First of all, there was a pause. My saying "hello, can you hear me?" reminded me of verizon's commerical (the "now" was missing though) and then after a second pause a woman started to speak German to me, which annoyed me even more. So I went on explaining to her that I don't understand her and don't speak whatever language she's using (and well, you should all know I know German, and speak it perfectly well). She then still wanted to talk to me in German and sell stuff whereas I told her "I don't understand you and therefore I'm hanging up!" And I did that.
So, this morning...about ten minutes ago my phone rings again. It's on mute, so I only see its screen blinking at me and then I see "private" again. WTF?!!! I pick it up, same procedure as yesterday, and realize the man now wants to talk in Turkish first...then since I don't give in and do my English speech he realizes he needs to speak German which of course ain't gonna work on me. "OH sh...." came from his side of the line and well he hung up. Thank you!!!!!

Let that be a lesson to all of you trying to call me with a blocked number, and then trying to sell something. I won't give in. I won't speak to you, and I will definitely piss you off by using a language you are not familiar with and can't speak. One of us is going to hang up, and it most probably is going to be you the private caller.

If you are not trying to sell something with a blocked number you better tell me you are a friend of mine!!

click on pic for source

I was wondering though what would happen if at some point I get someone on the phone speaking English? Hmmm...I might just tell him or her or them to go to...let's really not go there!

Lesson learned?! Hope so.

Have a good one!

Thankful for #2

Today, I'm thankful for being a bit international...
Thankful also for my uncle reminding me once in a while that no matter where we live, and what we do, our heritage/origin/background is always with us. It belongs to us as much as we belong to it. He sent me a link a few days ago and I was just able to watch it...and then discovered it turned out it was a link to's main page and "Where in the World" series with Matt Lauer and his journey to Istanbul. He was there in 2008, I think in May. I remember hearing about his world journeys but never got to see them.
Reading about the city and its history or looking at pictures in a book and all is one thing, but seeing pictures, live completely different and so with that said I'm sharing a couple of links with you...enjoy!

The videos might take a while until they're ready and all, and right now I get very weird Target commercials showing, too. What is up with that? Could it be any weirder?! Anyways, the links do work, I just tested them. ;) Haha!!!
Have fun!

Video # 1

Video # 2

Video # 3
my favorite link, a city full of contrasts... :)

Video # 4
and she's right about NYC and Turkish restaurants!!! ;-)

Video # 5

The chef has a weird accents, so not Turkish...but he is Turkish. Funny.

Video # 6
Matt's calculation on Starbucks coffee is a bit too much.
Still, the coffee costs more than in the US.

There are plenty other videos available. Not just from Istanbul.
This just made my day.

Hope you are having a fabulous day!!!!
Happy Tuesday everyone!


November 23, 2009

I'm Thankful For

This week is all about that...and much more but mainly about that.

Being healthy.
As much as I would love to deny this very fact I do have to say I'm thankful for being healthy. I may not fully feel healthy and I may not have found out why but I'm definitely thankful for being as healthy as I am. There are millions out there not being this fortunate. Most of them even aware of the very sad fact that they may not make it through this year or even week. I am blessed with what I've got, and know how to value this (even on my worst days). There are worse things out there, worse scenarios and worse health problems than mine. I'm healthy, and that is what counts. Some weeks feeling off and just not right isn't going to make others less sick or in need.

Music and Internet.
In general, always! But what I'm mostly thankful for is the fact that I can finally listen to my favorite radio station online. Sigh. :) Live!!! Ah, this surely makes me homesick but I don't care. I love it. I love the fact that I can listen to it right this second. Thank you. I feel as if I'm driving through Ventura County right now. My heart melts and happy tears appear. Awesome. Love music. Love the internet even more. What did we do when we didn't have it?! Can someone please let me know? I can't remember anymore!!!!

It gives us all excuses to get together again. I think it's very uncool. Shouldn't we all just get together because we want to and not just feel obliged to do so on a holiday? I'm thankful for this specific holiday though. Not because of the presents (the older you get the less gifts are under the tree anyways), but because of the fact that my small family gets together...all at once, all in one place. We might have our differences and we might not be as close as others but it's family. It brings back memories, too. And well, just knowing that it's in almost one month...decoration alert at my place!!! Yay on that one!!

...more to come along the way...

I'm going to get to ready soon, take my book with me (I'm almost done) and head out to Starbucks. My Gingerbread Latte is waiting for me. I don't drink any other Christmas drink there. Peppermint Mocca is fun, but not my favorite. And a bit before 4 p.m. I'm going to the IMAX theater. It's our annual staff day at work and we're all getting together for some activity (last year we went to some odd museum) and then out for dinner. All free. Yay! I'm thankful for this day, too. At least I get to eat for free and do things I wouldn't normally do and going to watch movies there isn't something I would do. If ever one of these few friends here ask me to go I will definitely cry out of joy. Has never happened and won't ever happen. Trust me on this. I've tried to say "hey let's go". Reactions were disappointing. Oh well. Not that I like the IMAX theater but it's something and 3D IMAX movies are supposed to be fun. We'll see.

Thank you Monday!!!

Have an awesome day.


click on the pictures for credits

November 21, 2009

Happy Saturday!

Happy Saturday everyone!
My official work week is finished, and yes, most of you read was my last day at work. However, in about five weeks I have to go back for a while until they find a replacement and if you knew my boss you'd understand and know that this may take a while. I don't mind going back because money is always needed. I dread going back to that co-worker but I know I'm better than her and don't care anymore. I'll be going back for the money and only for the money so I can afford school, and trips to see family and friends again!

At my age I should know my way in life, and I should know what I want to do or not to do but honestly I really don't. I don't want to stay in this field of work forever. Some of my friends think it's what I like doing. They are very wrong. It's what I do best or thought I would do best but I don't like it anymore. I'm bored. I can't stand people around me at this point who have no idea what working in this particular field means. Maybe it's the way Swiss people handle it, or how they work or think, but in this field there is a lot more to it. Plus, I'm one of those very few ones working there having the educational background and diplomas. I know what I'm talking about and the rest to unfortunately 90% doesn't. Moreover, diplomas don't tell if you are a good worker or understand the matter perfectly. Diplomas show you finished and achieved some sort of goal. This is good, don't get me wrong. I'm proud of mine. I think it's even fabulous to have this kind of paper showing you did an excellent job in school etc etc...but, in real life, in this field, you definitely absolutely always have to work on your skills. Improve them daily, learn from others, agree and sometimes disagree with others, but still tolerate their input, and learn from that. Plus, if you don't know how to travel and explore other places you suck! Sorry, but in this field it's the truth. You need to be open-minded, see new things, want new things, try new things for all I know...but if you stay the way you are and were, pretty stagnant, then you not only ruin yourself but also the rest of the place. So, with this said...sort of...I don't want to be stuck somewhere that doesn't flow correctly, and that doesn't allow me to enjoy life, and put my inputs and ideas to work. I love to improve myself on a daily basis and learn each day a new thing - in any kind of field (if it's music, geography, art, history, etc etc). My job requires a lot of skills, and I did like it. However, I need to learn more and explore more. I'm sure we all feel this way at some point or another. I blame it on my sign...Gemini. ;)  I also blame it on my family because what they do is study (even at 70) and work hard to get their diplomas and world ideas and all that. I grew up reading old books, listening to Bach and Mozart, whereas others didn't. I also grew up playing table tennis and swimming, while trying to work on my guitar skills and singing in two choirs. In between all this I traveled some, and learned to balance a lot of things...and now I think it all comes back to me. This is what I need to be doing. That is also why I'm reading sometimes three books at once, and watch four movies in a row and learn to improve languages. It's what I've always done, it's just what I do and who I am. When I don't know something about a country or any other fact or person I look it up. Nowadays it's easier because of the internet. I just have to do this. I think it's great. My brain's working 24/7 and I don't have to say "oh, I don't know because I don't care". I've heard this sentence too many times. I don't want to know everything to 100% but at least to have some sort of an idea is helpful and needed.
So, what I'm trying to say is that I absolutely lost my point...I forgot what I wanted to say in the first place. All I actually wanted to say is HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND! I ended up rambling on and on about my crazy thoughts and wishes, and dreams and whatever else. I also wanted to say that I'm happy I have some time off to rethink my life, rethink my future, and learn more.
And yes, I really forgot what I wanted to say in the first place. But, I'm sticking to this one and will have a good time staying home, doing nothing but relax and read and sleep and hey!!! cook!!!!!! Or at least look at recipes and find ways to make those gorgeous looking dishes appear next week. We all know what next week is and yeah, I definitely miss Thanksgiving, too. I even got two from "my aunt" and one from my friend back in CA. Can't go. Not now. Maybe next year?!

Sorry if your eyes are sore and if whatever I had to say and wrote down bothers you, or makes you think twice or whatever. I always say that writing helps and trust me on this it sure does. I feel much better now. Ready to watch TV and spoil myself with the pleasure of doing absolutely nothing today!!!!

 from we ♥ it!

November 19, 2009


Yes!!! The title says it all. Am I right?

Thank God It's Friday And My Last Day Of Work, For Now!

As I said the title says it all.
Some of you may have read a few months back that I had some rough times with one of my co-workers. I still do. Not directly though which can be seen as less dramatic but still...the not so obvious war between us is actually worse! So, for once, I'm extremely happy that this part of my life is over. For now. It may return for a short while but I can assure you that this will be settled and ended pretty soon. I had my fair share with her rudeness and bad attitude and I am literally done with it. I blame all my health issues on her. Harsh, maybe, but I had never had such bad problems in my entire life and these just got worse in the last 14 months. If I continue what I'm doing I will literally ruin myself and I won't allow this to happen. My life's way too precious and I want to fully live my life and enjoy every single second and not think twice about how I'm going to react or even act when it's about time to see her. Just to give you an idea on how bad it's been...about two hours before I have to face her I get sick. Real sick. I can't eat, drink or even think clearly. The bathroom very close to my office is my best friend. Gross. Yes. But it's the truth. The minute I step outside and leave to go home I'm relieved, but filled with so much anger I always want to return and smash something at her. I won't ever do this because I know better but just the thought right now makes me happy. I'm horrible I know.
The picture above says it all...Remember Who You Are. I have to remember who I am, or basically who I once was. Months ago I wrote that I had lost myself and that's true even until today. :(

Either way, it is Friday and it is my last day!
So looking forward to my paycheck, and tonight's dinner and then the weekend.
As usual I'll be spending that one at home watching movies. :) I'm a dork, I know.

Happy Friday everyone!!!


P.s. wish I had my camera with me...on my way to work it was foggier than ever before. Felt like back in the 1800's somewhere in England around Jack The Ripper that name even spelled correctly.

Over The Top!

Just when I think my life gets more dull and more boring I receive awards.

Thank you Brynn @ The Simple, Sweet, & Silly Sophisticate for making my day!!!

I so don't want to play along, mainly because I think there's really nothing to say and my fingers don't want to work either but oh what the heck...I'm bored, it's fun and who cares...

So, here are the rules:

1) You can only use one word.
2) Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers.
3) Alert them that you have given them this award!
4) Have Fun!

The Survey

1. Where is your cell phone? Purse
2. Your hair? Brown
3. Your mother? Busy
4. Your father? Gone
5. Your favorite food? Asian
6. Your dream last night? Weird
7. Your favorite drink? Water
8. Your dream/goal? Happiness
9. What room are you in? Bedroom
10. Your hobby? Watching...
11. Your fear? Death
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Alive
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. Something that you aren’t? Determined
15. Muffins? Raspberry
16. Wish list item? Raise
17. Where did you grow up? Europe
18. Last thing you did? Talk
19. What are you wearing? Sweater
20. Your TV? Big
21. Your pets? None
22. Friends? International
23. Your life? Confusing
24. Your mood? Okay
25. Missing someone? Always
26. Vehicle? Feet
27. Something you’re not wearing? Ring
28. Your favorite store? GAP
29. Your favorite color? Purple
30. When was the last time you laughed? Saturday
31. Last time you cried? Yesterday
32. Your best friend? Female
33. One place that I go to over and over? Ventura
34. One person who e-mails me regularly? Friend
35. Favorite place to eat? Nancy's

Ok, and now I'm passing this one on to whoever wants to play along.
It is quite difficult to choose six specific people because you are all great bloggers and I do want to give this one out to everyone. If you feel like doing it, go ahead, and have fun!!

I'm so going to bed now! :(
First I'm going to red this article though.


Thursday Afternoon Blah

My inspiration for today...I so need it. My co-worker pissed me off (again!) and I'm fighting...bit time. :(

Sources as

Have a great day!!!


November 18, 2009

Wishful Wednesday - Genre

As always on a Wednesday...

Wishful Wednesday

Kelsey's topic this week is

I life was a movie, and I would want it to be a dramatic comedy with some adventure!
(and an open end...)

Here's the thing about my much as I want it to be interesting it is not. At least not to me.
I would want the movie to be about my life, nothing made up and nothing fake. 
Though with my life as a movie I'd have to start with the past, and that not just with my past.
And maybe see me reading a book to my grandchild about someone's (or my) life...Notebook style.

It all began with my grandparents and how they met in the 1930's. Him being a student in a foreign country and meeting my grandma. They fall in love, get married, have two girls. Then they move to my grandpa's home. All adventurous because flying is out of the question and the trip involves a long boat/cruise ride. Imagine the late 1940's, early 1950's in a so-called and also somewhat unknown Oriental country. Then the unthinkable happens. Divorce. The family is being ripped apart, and life changes instantly. Years pass by, and my mom reunites with her sister and her mother, and starts life from scratch. While working hard and enjoying life with great trips to Asia and southern America, a child is born.
Well, and that is where my life starts...all filled with a few months living in Trinidad and Tobago, then annual family visits to Istanbul, travels and more family visits to some European countries and to a few US States. Dual citizenships. Triple language household. Confusions. Fights. Job wise, name wise, health wise. My life being a bit dramatic. Then after junior high it gets a bit more interesting...and right after high school it is definitely time for new adventures, more family visits, more everything. College life. Some love stories are involved, too, which always end the way they started. And well, an endless search for the right path in life, struggles that make life a bit challenging, jobs that aren't much fun, more fights, unhappiness, happiness, reunions with old friends, and a heart and soul that is constantly being torn apart and not ready to settle or stand up for what it truly believes in.

The movie would be a comedy, with some dramatic touch as well as some fun adventures.
Imagine shows like How I Met Your Mother, Gilmore Girls, One Tree Hill and some Grey's Anatomy...
all in one!
*besides all those obvious romanic movies we all heard of*

And well when it comes to actors to that movie I would definitely have a hard time except for future me... definitely Sandra Bullock.

Happy Wednesday!

November 17, 2009

Quick update

So, here's what's been going on lately...

I have been busy at work even though it's all a lie.

I have been fighting my dizziness with more pilates, and longer hours of sleep.

I have cut down the amount of coffee I drink but can't make exceptions when it comes to GBL's.

I have come to terms with the fact that my life is messy and just unorganized. It's better that way.

All Christmas presents are sent out, the last ones today.
I spent a fortune on all of them, and ended up having a rude conversation with one of the women working at the post office. She wanted to tell me what I should or shouldn't send as gifts. I got pissed (already was due to her snippy tone and comment on how I signed and how I wrote 7), and so I asked her if those addresses mean anything to her whereas she looked at me quite surprised and said "I don't know these people, why? Should I know them?". Whereas I answered with "EXACTLY MY don't know these girls but I do and that is why I CHOOSE what I get them for Christmas and not you. I'm paying all that, too, aren't I?!" Without further ado she gave in and let me sign, write 7 the way I've been doing it for over ten years, and pay the whole thing...I left the building still pissed but happy...finally the shopping and packing is done!!! I've had my share with rude and unfriendly people and have always ended up disgusted with all of them. I just can't stand rudeness. Yes, I may have been rude too but I simply can't play nice when I'm treated like shit. So, this again, proved that some Swiss people aren't as nice and just need to chill and learn how to smile. No wonder I feel I don't belong anymore. But yeah, I won't go there now.

My ear is bothering me. No, it doesn't hurt but I feel as if I'm hearing myself twice if not four echoes (with or without an "e"?) in my ear like crazy.

Today is the fourth time people thought I was a tourist. Oh boy.

Three more days and I'm off work again. Not that I look forward to anything like that but I need to determine if whatever has been bothering me had anything to do with my temporary unemployment or not.

I think I know my plans for New Year's. Hope so. But I don't want to think about it now.

And the weirdest thing is happening...until NOW.
I hear songs that remind me of California. Southern or Northern, doesn't matter.
Wherever I go songs try to talk to me...
Yesterday I leave the house with my iPod on shuffle and the first song is by Phantom Planet "California". Thank you. Really. The next three songs are all songs I used to listen while sitting endless hours on Greyhound buses to San Francisco. I still wonder how I ever managed to do those trips...up and then down again, and up again and down again. Loved it though. :-) Then, while waiting in the movie theater at 2.15pm for the movie to begin with..."Have a Nice Day" by Stereophonics is on, and the next songs just make it better or should I say worse...Scott McKenzie and the famous song about the city by the bay, and Eagles with Hotel California...HELLO?! What is going on here?! I'm not joking. I thought someone played some really upsetting game with me, but no. All real, all very oh so normal. Quite scary.
And now, I had to turn off the radio at work...Stereophonics came on again, Phantom Planet too...what is up people?! Are you seriously trying to make me feel worse?!????
Tuesdays officially became my least favorite days.
Two more hours at work and I can go home...yeah!!!!! I so need to sleep and delete all my songs on iTunes. :(

Have a great day.


November 16, 2009

Ready. Set. Go. No.

So this is what I started with:

Let's hope I get all the boxes/presents ready today. They need to be sent out. They just do. If not, tomorrow will do, too. But, that'll be procrastinating things which isn't really want I wanna do. I am ready, everything is set and ready to go and hopefully it's gonna happen. Then I'm all done and can focus on two things...finally starting to decorate for Christmas (yay!!!) and looking forward to early December. What's happening then? I'll be driving up to Germany for a few days (I absolutely love Christmas Markets there) and then a few days after that everyone's going to get together for our annual Santa Claus Parade. Can't wait to see my favorite Santa Claus...the purple one! :-) Of course!

And this is what I ended up with:

All I can say is that I just sent out two instead of five packages. Why?! The boxes I had at home weren't right so I had to get new ones today (Sundays stores are closed here, all of them!!), and I will send out the rest tomorrow. Ok, not a big deal but still, my plan didn't work. On the bright side though I finished watching HIMYM and am on par with everyone else. Thank you! :) I hate not knowing what's been going on and now I fully know who just broke up, or who just's getting crazier and funnier. Yay on that one!
I've been slacking off with my reading but hey, I have to go back to work tomorrow and I'm sure there will be moments where I can sit and read about sad and very touching moments of Jodi Picoult's writing. 
Oh, and after I had sent out two boxes I treated myself with some movie time (Couples Therapy) and some Gingerbread Latte. For the first time in weeks I felt great. No pain, no dizziness...just me, the huge screen in the movie theater and my GBL. Ok, the latte came after the movie on my way home, but still... Yay on GBL!
all images from we ♥ it!

Life's been ok so far, but it's just Monday and Mondays are you know...Mondays!

Hope you had a good one.

November 15, 2009


Saturday was a good day. It didn't start well, and I thought I wasn't going to enjoy it at all but I forced myself to do what I was supposed to do and had a great evening! A lame soccer game, a little champagne, a handful of BBQ chips, very delicious dinner (and all made by one of the best cooks ever - okay, maybe I'm biased but who cares), discussions that led to funny word moments (laughing and crying at the same time is the best), and a poker game to remember. I didn't win though. 2 a.m. was our deadline and we went home. :D

Happy Sunday!

November 14, 2009

And The Award Goes To..., among so many other fabulous ones. Oh wait, I already said this once before. But this time I have to add - I got it twice!!!!
Yay! I'm flattered I got this cute and may I say sweet and fabulous Sugar Doll Award from Katie over at The Adventures of Katie and Josh and from Kelly over at Keeping up with Kelly & co. . I'm stoked.. Thanks a million to the both of you. Thank you Katie and thank you Kelly!!!!

The directions are to post the award on my site, write 10 interesting things about myself and then pass it on to 10 other bloggers. Easier said than done!

Here it goes:

  • I'm constantly told my hands and fingers are the exact resemblance to my great-grand mother's. I saw pictures and I saw similarities...Unfortunately, I never met her so I can't say for sure but my family keeps telling me this and it's quite interesting to "see" some gene proof of some sort. 
  • History was and still is my favorite subject. I aced that one every single time. And even today, I can tell you certain details about certain historical events (i.e. WWII, or the Civil War) you probably know but forgot or never heard of or just never knew. Some dates and details just stuck, some so didn't. 
  • Even though I may be good at keeping dates in mind (not just birthdays, but also events, past fun dates, or weird facts like what time my mom was born or when my friend told me she was pregnant the first time, May 20, 2003 due in three weeks) I suck at remembering names!!!!! Even today I mix my friends' names sometimes...funny but also embarrassing.
  • My dreams are always in English. Never in my first language. Weird?! I think it's good though!
  • I cannot stand/deal with/look at animals (to me gross creatures) that fly, jump, crawl, or just freak me out. Haha! Spiders of any kind, bugs (ugly ones seen in Louisianna once and then I knew I so didn't like them), worms, ants, snakes, bees, flies, mosquitos etc etc.
    I'm doing ok with birds, but hate it when I can't see where they may land. Hopefully never on me. Don't like it when they fly over and around me either... for unknown reasons then The Birds comes automatically to my mind.
  • Halloween and Christmas are my favorite holidays. My Christmas ornaments, and decoration craziness is huge (not to mention the Christmas songs), and I love it when it's all colorful and bright and just way too much. I wish I had my own very humongous house so I could go crazy. One day I'm sure.
    Though if I don't decorate on any of these two holidays something is wrong. I did not have a tree up last Christmas and it shocked quite some people. And even though I was looking forward to Halloween this year I got to put out all my stuff on the actual day...I just didn't feel like doing much before. A definite sign something's wrong here. :(
  • I'm obsessed with mascara.Regular ones though. Makes my long lashes look fabulous! ;)
    Once I totally forgot to put some on and I went shopping. I passed by (note, I passed by not walked in!) Louis Vuitton and the doorman who was waiting for customers to come to or leave that expensively yummy looking store had mascara and eye liner on. That made me realize I had forgotten to put some on earlier. So, whenever I pass that store I have to look at the guy at the door and see if he's wearing some hot eye lash stuff. haha
  • Shopaholic could be my nickname. Although, I'm the Shopaholic only back in CA, newly discovered Philly, too, and not so much here in Europe. Way too expensive, way too different, just not me. Plus, I love hunting down cheap clothes and find the best deals...I can be the happiest girl ever if I find a shirt at $5 whereas I know I would be paying $30 ir not $50 for the same exact one in another store or in Europe. No fancy stores for me though. Plus, I do have a budget I work with and I never go over that one!
  • I was teased a lot in junior high. Too much at times. This happens to a lot of people and I know I'm not the only one having gone through this, but it made me who I am today. Thick skinned and very very difficult to understand at times. I've been wearing a very thick shell ever since, and I do believe it's also part of why I hold this grudge against this place. This feeling will never leave me. However, I've been dealing with this and a so-called "cure" is hopefully going to crack some of that shell soon. ;)
  • My favorite colors are purple, blue, pink...besides the obvious black, gray and white (I call them the basics! They go with everything and you simply can't do anything wrong there). But if you saw me you'd instantly know what my favorite colors are...even my cell phone's purple, not to mention the color of my! :)
Hoe you had fun reading through my silly stuff...very random I guess.

And now I'm passing this cute award on to:

Amber @ Life As We Know It
Kelsey @ The Seattle Smith's
Brynn @ The Simple, Sweet, & Silly Sophisticate
Annie @ Chapters of our life
Mara @ M Loves M
Kimberly @ My Wooden Heart
Skye @ Those Magic Slippers Will Take You Home
Chloe @ Sean ♥ Chloe
Lauren @ Life, Lilly, and L.A.
Amy @ My LaLa Land

I didn't want to pass this award on at first. Why?
There are so many fabulous bloggers out there I simply couldn't decide.
So, if you are reading this and aren't on my list consider yourself tagged as well because you certainly deserve it!!!

You all deserve a Sugar Doll Award!

Happy Weekend!


November 13, 2009

Happy Friday

Today is one of those days people are afraid of. It is Friday, and it is also the 13th of the month. Scary day, bad day, and worst day of all. I remember a time when we were supposed to take a test that day and our teacher asked us if we wanted to because it was Friday and the 13th. We rescheduled the thing and well, that was it. I think I failed that test. :(  I don't care what number it is and I don't really care what day. Friday, 13th, both are fine with me. In fact, I call it my lucky day! Friday 13th!!!!! Looks funny when I write it out though.'s a lucky day, my lucky day, and so far it's always been good to me. Let's hope it stays that way!!!!!

And well, since I'm clearly looking forward to the weekend...I thought I'd share some pictures I found online. :) Happy Friday everyone!!!!

All from We ♥ It! ;)
I just thought they looked cute.
Just looking at them makes me smile!


November 12, 2009


I'm at work.
Yes, I shouldn't be on here.
But, there's nothing I can do.
I'm not obsessed but I need distraction.
My book is waiting for me, but I am not sure I'm ready to open it yet again. (it's been good though)
I'm catching up on reading all blogs.
I wish I could comment on every single one.
Sometimes I can, sometimes I cannot. This PC doesn't allow me to comment sometimes.
It just stops and that makes me sad.
I drank half a gallon of water today.
I'm serious.
Now tea is the next liquid I'm going to be drinking.
I'm hungry!
But, there's no food around.
It may help me lose weight. Maybe not.
I hope it stops raining.
I hope the temperatures go up again, but it seems as if 40's has become a regular number these days.
I fear my future.
My head is spinning but mainly because my brain can't hold the pressure anymore...too much to think.
My stomach just made an awkward noise.
What the?!

Happy Thursday night.


Thursday's Blah

This week's been just long and very not my favorite kind at all.
I don't feel like doing anything at all. Not at home (I should clean though), not at work (every second is a drag), not outside. I feel as if I'm trapped somewhere not able to choose not able to do what makes me happy just follow the negative flow. So far it's been ok, even though I feel sick (again, still?!). Wednesday morning was the worst. At 7am I thought I couldn't make it through. Already took my medicine and sat in front of the PC just waiting to feel better and go home. At around noon it all was gone, but new anxiety arose. At 2.30pm the not so nice co-worker would take over my shift (scheduled) and I would have to face her. We hardly talk, we hardly exchange anything other than "this and that happened, be aware, make sure this and that is changed or done or whatever" and then I'm out. That usually happens within five minutes. With my other co-workers the same process last for an hour. Anyway, I was out in five and  headed to the bank, and then to some cafe. Mom called and said we should meet so I wouldn't go straight home but still force my body to do something. It could have been worse but it wasn't good either. Needless to say at home I went straight to bed and stayed there for the rest of the day, up until 8.15pm because I had to watch TV.
When I'm sick I just need to distract myself. Most of the time I sleep but sleeping isn't everything and distraction is always needed so the TV comes in handy. After that, bed again and now it's 10.30am and I just woke up. I feel ok. Have an empty stomach though so I'll change that one in a second. :)
Work at 2.30pm again...not looking forward to it but it's a mistake I need to make in order to get money, in order to eventually do what I would love to do and without money it's not going to happen again. Ok, this sounded bad though, my grammer is all gone, my spelling's probably off and my thoughts are so scattered it is not funny.

Happy Thursday.
I'm so glad I'm off Saturday... for three whole days!!! Can't wait.

Just found this picture in my camera...and it sort of put a smile on my face...Christmas season's around the corner!!!!

Taken a while ago at some Christmas event I went to. The table looked so delicious. Yes, delicious.
Plus, lavender is the color this season!!!!

November 11, 2009

Wishful Wednesday - Chore


This week's topic on Kelsey's blog is:

I wish... I  never had to clean the bathroom again!

Yeah, I know.
It's something we all need to do but this one is not my favorite. At all.
I don't mind cleaning because I love the fact that everything smells great and looks pretty afterwards.
But bathroom cleaning is one chore I just dread.
Not exactly sure why but it's just the way it is.

Then again, if my bathroom look like the ones below I would probably change my mind.

(click on the pictures for credits)

Happy Wednesday!!


November 9, 2009

Morning Blues

Good morning!!!

Last night I worked and it was such a long day I thought I was going to collapse right there on the spot. Same goes for tonight. Not really looking forward to it but have to. Same goes for tomorrow just a different schedule. Let's hope my body works with me and let's me enjoy the day by not getting dizzy and not getting a weird feeling in my stomach or whatever. I hate not feeling 100% right. I want to wake up and walk around and live life normally, no odd gut feeling or crazy dizzy head...just normal. Then again, what is normal?!

Woke up early...catching up on some reading and watching TV.
Trying to avoid the wet streets outside. Very dangerous anyhow with all the yellow and red leaves on the ground. Christmas presents will be sent away in one week. I'm so excited it's finally done. Yeah. And my future is still quite unknown. Wonderful. Not really. ;) Dreamed about California last night, wonder if it had anything to do with the concert Sunday night. Either way the dream was fantabulous. Made me smile, a lot!

Have a terrific day.


Hope you had a great weekend. Mine was okay.
(When I say okay it usually means it could have been better but it was alright.)

Saturday I went back to work. Getting dressed was the best part about it. But it ended right there and then.
The minute I entered the building I felt as if I was dragged around on the floor. I didn't feel like doing anything which is a definite sign that I hate it. I don't hate the job itself because I love interacting with all kinds of people but I simply hate it now, and have actually for the past two years. Two years ago it was more fun, more interesting, more everything it clearly isn't today. Something's missing. . The urge to fulfill the necessary obligation towards others (at this job you just owe this obligation to others) is gone. I don't see it anymore. Not in me, not in others...and that is what depresses me. With this place it feels like a love-hate relationship you want to end but sometimes just can't because there's still hope somewhere that something, anything will change. The ugly truth behind it though is just plain ugly because nothing is ever going to change. But I digress...
Work has been ok for the first hour and then after that it was just one long drag. Luckily we are allowed to take books with us so if we feel bored we can read. We cannot just leave early because there's no work for us or we feel like going home early, we have to stick to our odd working hours, and sit so our behind gets rounder and bigger and we might get a call from J.Lo asking for the secret of our well formed butt (because hers lost its track somewhere down the line). So far, it's been boring and no call from J.Lo. Yet. And besides getting a bigger butt by sitting endless hours, I got hit on by a guy. Normally, I'd be thrilled and would definitely say "yay" but he must have been 70 if not more years old and that my lovelies is just way too old for me! Thank you, but NO thank you. Yuck.

Good thing though is I started reading a new book. Finally finished Bright Shiny Morning and can say that I actually liked it even though I wrote about having problems with it at the beginning. There were parts that just seemed to be endless and just not going anywhere but in the end I felt great having read 250 pages in one day. James Frey is awesome. I still prefer his first book. BSM is nothing compared to A Million Little Pieces. But, it was a good one and a book I would recommend only to people knowing Los Angeles. Others might be grossed out, scared, shocked, or who knows what. I liked it. Period.
Now, I'm reading The Pact by Jodi Picoult. Quite a difference. I've read most of her books and was never disappointed. Let's hope this book is not going to change that.

Are you reading anything at the moment?!
Let me know, it might give me ideas on what to buy next.

Sunday I slept in for the most part. Watched season 2 of How I Met Your Mother, and got ready to go to Green Day's concert. It might not be your favorite band but it is one of mine. Never fully liked them at the very beginning of their career but about 12 years ago it just hit me and I knew it was going to be one of my favorite ones. Ya know, I could listen to them, sing along and then in an instant listen to please don't judge. Plus, my guys always bring back home to me. Miss the Bay Area. Other places are missed more, but the Bay Area has its own flair and boy do I miss that. But I digress...
The concert was beyond awesome!!! Can't fully put it into words but it was awesome. It was sold out and we had the best view to the stage, and the best view to pretty much anything was breathtaking to see thousands of people enjoying a Sunday night filled with great lyrics, and great sounds. Thanks guys for making this one a night to remember!!!! Yay!!!!


And didn't happen this weekend but I'm super happy about this winter season just because I get to drink my Gingerbread Latte again!!! So many memories are attached to this red/white paper cup filled with dangerously good coffee it brought back tears. I'm not kidding. I shed tears the second I had my first sip of my Gingerbread Latte. This happens sometimes. It's rare but when it happens it is a sign I missed something. A lot. I sure did. It was the same when I had some special Turkish food in Istanbul this year. Apparently I must have missed it because two tears escaped my eyes and that meant something. I'm not super emotional but this sometimes happens. Plus, it's normal I guess. A friend and I (years ago at a Japanese restaurant downtown L.A) were crying while eating something delicious. I so don't recall anymore what it was but I sure remember us crying like two crazy girls. And then, a couple of days later I remember another friend of mine crying over food she had missed and hadn't had in months. We called it the crying week. But see?? I digress come I can talk about my first winter 2009 coffee experience and then suddendly end up in 2003 in Japanese restaurants, and recall the fact that we named it the crying week?
Ah, this now made me think of rice bowls, and hot flavored coffee...odd combination but I simply don't care.
*and I do have to mention I felt one tear on my cheek on Sunday night, too*

Gotta love them!!


P.s. if you were wondering how the Mexcian food night went on Friday. It was good. I felt dizzy which wasn't tons of fun, and parking was awful. My wallet is $50 lighter and I'm still full. I blame it on the cheese. But it was a good night, despite my anger. They apologized which was nice. So all in was an okay night. ;-)

November 7, 2009


Here's the thing about mistakes:

Sometimes, even when you know something is a mistake, you gotta make it anyway!

Going back to work today.
Wish me luck.
I won't fight.
I won't feel bad.
This may all change by next week.
But for now...
...I'm going to make that mistake.

And the above quote I heard on How I Met Your Mother (sadly not my own! but could be)

Have a great weekend!


November 5, 2009

Goodnight And Go

Among a thousand things I can't get enough of bedrooms, pink, purple, and bathrooms. There's more, but I can't list everything. Plus, I don't have time either, so I'd love to keep this simple. Bedrooms (with their gigantic walk-in closet - preferably) are those things I cannot and will never ever give up dreaming about. I just have to. Not sure why but bedrooms have this magnificant power over me it's scary. My bedroom is not my favorite. I know I do have to change that. To keep this are a few pictures I found online...all from We ♥ It! What is it with this site? I can't get enough of it either! Crazy.



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