February 3, 2011

Honesty Is Refreshing


For the past few years months I've been struggling. There I said it. Then again, you may already know that. Not only have I been struggling, I've also second guessed, judged, neglected, and betrayed myself. Yes I have. I'm not proud of it but these have been the main thunderstorms in my mind and life, and it's not something to easily get rid of. Believing that once I read books again and get back into a regular schedule I would find myself had BIG FAT LIE written all over it. I thought I was doing the right thing. I failed. Maybe I didn't try hard enough. Maybe I did. 
Then my routine stopped, and for the first time in years I felt I needed to let go of it and leave it at that. Do I miss it? Yes of course. Am I happy about it? Yes. It not only shows that I loved what I was doing, but also that it was a good part in my life. Will I go back? Never again. In the last two months I grew immensely. There are no words to describe how and when but I know I have grown in so many ways. I'm very thankful for this and I will try to keep this going, and improve every single day. I would never go back again and lose what I've gained in the past two months. Letting go of my so-called routine was the best move so far.

Now you wonder why I'm writing this. There are a few reasons, but my main is that it came to my attention that life is too short, and since we try to impress so many people on a daily basis we forget to impress ourselves. Does that make any sense? Well, I've thought about it and it's all true...so many people around me (most of which I went to junior high with) are on a soul search journey these days. Men included. I'm amazed. I'm in shock, but I'm amazed. Who would have thought that whatever I've been doing and will continue doing is very normal these days. New trend? Am I that en vogue?! Are we all going to be like Elizabeth Gilbert?! Maybe. Maybe not. I'm just glad I'm not alone.


Do I feel better, now that most of it is in the open?
Not so much. Maybe a little.
But it's given me a chance to impress myself by admitting how I'm feeling. Good, huh?
Live life to the fullest...even when it's not very colorful at times. ;)
Don't worry I have a good day today. It may not seem that way but I do.

Let me find more happiness by watching some Modern Family.
Gotta love that show!!! :)

Happy Thursday!

xoxo,
♥ Selma ♥

4 comments :

OceanDreams said...

i agree, sometimes you just have to neglect your schedule, relax, and do what you love to do. LOVE that pic of love yourself, just be you love. i love you for you! xoxo!

Jennifer M. said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one with a train wreck in my head. You're not alone. Definitely not. I'm still working out how to change my life for the better, but i love your suggestion to impress yourself. That's the second time today something like that was said to me - first was to stop trying to impress other people. Both are so true. Best wishes on your Elizabeth Gilbert journey. I hope i am equally successful on mine. :)

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Sometimes you just have to let it all out to start figuring out how to feel better!

samnhal said...

I'm someone who holds on tight to routines too, but sometimes it's when you let go of those things that have made up who you were that you realize that that's not who you are anymore. And there's nothing wrong with that! You have to love yourself in the NOW.

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