January 30, 2013

I. Can. Do. This.

Okay, not much has happened around me. School started.  I had to petition for one class, and I did not get in. I then petitioned for another class, and another one. Guess what? I got into both. Both classes I also don't need at all. Great. Now I'm just blah-ed out and have no idea what to do. Grrrrr....
As it all turns out, and looks like I am going with my initial plan - which is simple, easy and hopefully okay. I am not one that can take up to six classes (believe me I have done that) and successfully focus on all. I'd rather have four and clearly, thoroughly focus on all of them. After all I need to keep up my smarty-pants status my friend A. tells me almost every day. Thank you A., I can beat your butt any time I want (then again, I know I can't - he's got the military background and I doubt tiny me can beat that!!). So, yeah, school looks okay...classes too. I should be somehow okay.

So, what am I taking this semester? Well, my dear friends....let's say I read a lot about Human Behavior and Thinking...and Political Science (yuck to the max). Apparently I have to take it. I didn't a year ago so I was happy knowing I only had 3 classes left...guess what? Turns out I needed PS. Without PS I will not pass, nor will I be able to finish my degree(s) - yes plural, and really, I'm just very irritated. Needless to say I am kicking my own butt through PS, and Human Behavior. Four full classes and well, one extremely long night class as most of you know (it's from 6-10). 


But.

I know I CAN DO THIS.

I simply can.
I don't remember how I managed 18 units before (I am not taking 18 this semester trust me, I learned my lesson and I know what's good for me). I really don't remember how I managed so many units and classes at once, let alone got all A's in them. Back then that is. NOW? Heck no. No more 18 units. 12 or 14, all so I can still breathe, live, and sleep. :) 

BUT. I can do this.
I have to remind me on a daily basis that what I am doing is good for me.
I wanted to do this. I wanted to move back. I wanted to start over.
I also know I wanted to work on more degrees, get out there and explore.
Yes. I gave up on life back home, I gave up on friendships (some I gained back, some ignore me), and yes, I just feel lonely to 80%, and yes, I don't fit in at times, or don't know what fully comes around. BUT, I can do this. I can really do this. I just have to. I have hope.

Now, all I have to think about is what I'm going to do once I graduate. Paid internship? Or more studies? 

Life goes on. Regardless.
My friends back home have fun right now with all the pre-Carnival stuff going on, and I am missing out on. Some of my friends are expecting their first, or second child, some are getting married and others are just well, already married, or single, or mingling or whatever.  I may miss out on their life, they are also missing out on mine. Simple as that. They do this, and I do my thing.
So yes, life goes on.
School goes on.
I can do this.

I am a happy girl.
Even when I'm extremely miserable at times.
YES.
I. Can. Do. This.

6 comments :

Leeann @ Join the Gossip said...

You sure can do it! I have faith in you :))))

Ugh on the PS. Somehow I was able to take a diff class instead of that haha. Good luck ;)

Courtney said...

Yes. You. Can!!!!

Good luck! I agree with you on the PS, but you'll survive it!

Val said...

You can do this and you're gonna be awesome.

Kat@shop.school.sleep. said...

Good luck on your semester!! Yes you can do it!! It's so hard when you are so "over" school, but buckle down and focus and breathe, right?!

Sam M said...

I know what you mean! 18 credits and no sleep, no prob. fast forward to now and I'd be dying. You can totally do this. I hated poli sci too, but if I can do it at 18 and knowing NOTHING about politics, you can do it!

Meghan said...

You totally can do it! I will be thinking of you. 18 credits isn't easy but if anyone is up to the challenge, its you!

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