June 17, 2009

Beautiful Teeth or so

According to my dental hygienist I have beautiful teeth. She loves them. All I can say is Thank You Pam. I am not so sure though why she loves them. I don't like them. They are apparently adorable enough to mention it each time I visit her and apparently also way too interesting to make them a specialty of some sort. Two secretaries had to come in and look at my teeth. So embarrassing. Why? I mean, why?! They are nothing special, nor custom made or anything. They are very simple, very crooked, and very, well, ordinary. After my session she told me why she loved them so much. No cavities, no holes, no fillings. She calls that perfect, beautiful in any way and just really something she could look at forever. Again, Thank You Pam.

I had to get out of there as soon as my session was over this morning. Distraction was needed, and where did I go to? Yes, my so-called favorite spot in this city. A well-known coffee shop I don't want to mention on here because it's not the best and not the cheapest. I know I know, it's not good for the freshly cleaned teeth but I just had to. I have mentioned it before and all I can say is I love its coffee, raspberry muffins, and chilling environment. It calms me. So, I went there and had a nice cup of coffee with vanilla flavor...of course, what else?! While killing time and waiting for another appointment this morning I continued reading my book. There was this one part of a chapter that really caught my attention. The author describes herself and her feelings after her divorce and even though I've never been married or divorced those feelings described my current state. I began asking myself what I'll be doing in a year from now, with a new number stapled on my back. I began wondering and thinking what I wanna do, what I must do before that. Besides paying bills and insurances and going to work each day, I have to change something in my life. It's all been wonderful and I've been blessed and privileged enough to keep doing what I've been doing but in the end it's not everything and it won't be everything. The author of my book talks about her life changing trip to Italy, and how it has affected her and why she chose to go in the first place. After her divorce she was depressed, and I mean really depressed. She went to see someone, got better, and decided to move on and enjoy and discover life beyond that divorce disaster. While roaming through Rome she describes her anxiety levels coming back and "depression" and "loneliness" talking to her (again). One of those "friends" even asked her why she messed things up with her marriage, why she messed things up with her husband, or every man she came across. Another question got to the point of really pushing it to make her, and maybe me as well, cry. Where were you the night you turned thirty, and why have things gone so sour since then?! Oh boy, I don't want to end up like that. I don't want to experience anything like that. No way! I thought beings twenty-something is difficult, but being over thirty seemed more disastrous. Why she couldn't get her act together and be living in a nice house and raising nice children was another question. I am sure that at some point we are all thinking about that stage in our lives. Sooner or later we enter that stage, and that question is pretty much waiting for us. Not seeing it now. Thinking about it for sure, not daily but regularly. My coffee break was luckily over and I had to go in for another appointment. All I could think of was my wonderfully warm coffee, that I'm blessed to be still in my 20's...and out of nowhere the weird questions lingering above me quickly dissolved.

Quick shot from today's good but still not-good coffee.

Coming home a surprise package was waiting for me. A belated birthday gift I knew was coming one day. My dear friend K. made my day today. I feel special now. Two weeks past the real date and I still get presents. Isn't that nice?! Thank you K. so much. You sure made me smile today, and forget about the book and the questions it raised. The DVD will be watched tonight!!! Thank you!


aLEXacon said...

love reading your blogs Selma! you seem like you live a very cool life! just thought i would send some good thoughts :)

LiLu said...

Awww, I love snail mail of any sort, but PRESENTS are the best! Happy belated :-)


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