What Friendship Means to Me

Friendship is a generous word. Some people and cultures take it lightly and call everyone they meet and work with friends, and others choose their friends wisely. Whichever group you belong to doesn't matter when it comes to this post. All that matters is that we all long for the same. We all want friends we can spend time with, talk to, laugh with, call, and just be ourselves. It is that simple. 

Some of us go to work and call those colleagues friends. Some go to school and the classmates they talk to the most are their friends, and others even consider their Facebook friends as friends. Honestly, they aren't your friends. They will probably never consider you a friend unless you two are really truly friends...not colleagues, relatives, neighbors, classmates or people you once spend a day with. A friend should be someone you can text at midnight and a text will come back the same day/hour or very early in the morning apologizing for not responding sooner. A friend is someone you can call and talk about private {if not intimate} things with. A friend is someone who will travel for you if time and money allows. Sometimes this will not be possible and as painful as this may be {I have been in this situation twice so far} that friendship will not suffer. That friendship will grow because both sides will understand and continue to live life as beautifully as lived before. 

Personally I can't stand it when B calls his people at work friends. I have to correct him because those people aren't his friends. They never spend time together unless they work together. They never call or text unless it is work related. They never make plans together. They talk at work {and I don't want to know what they talk about} and that is it. There is no real friendship blossoming. Period.

Granted, as bloggers we have come across different kinds of people. We exchange cards, email on a regular basis, share stories, and yes, even meet up. Friendships form, most of them stay simple, others become so grand they become best friends. Friends you meet up with, travel with, text and call and share the same interests at times. Those blog friends turned real life friends are awesome. Kudos to all of us who have experienced this. 

Friendship to me means all that and much more. I have a few friends left in Europe whom I talk to often but nearly not often enough as I would like. We send each other cards, texts, gifts {I am working on a few things at the moment}, and just brighten each other up with stories and the feeling that yes, no matter the distance, we are there for one another.

I also have a few friends here. Unfortunately we don't live close to one another so I am really trying to make it happen and see them as often as I can. I greatly value the same gesture in return. When I moved I left part of me there. I didn't know it would be hard to find new friends. I didn't expect it to be so easy though, therefore, I have been strongly holding on to what I have left behind. With our lives being busy {or are we making them too busy?} makes it challenging to stay in contact BUT when a friendship really matters we make the effort.

I have had a friend who I thought was a great one to me. Yet, I believe the second she realized how I lived my life, how I studied, how I enjoyed the little things {a glass of wine after a long day for example} or just how I was made her judge me and probably made her disapprove of me. I don't know. I have had this feeling for a long time. I never told anyone. I felt betrayed. I felt bad. I felt sad. Yet, at the same time I told myself that no matter what and when I should remain the person I am. I shouldn't change to get her approval back or even our friendship back. I refused to change, and I still do. It pains me to see her do stuff with other people. It pains me to remember that she wanted to do things with me and then went behind my back and did those things with someone else. It is okay but it is not right to betray me that way. In a way I changed our friendship from "great and personal" to "colleague like", so we talk when it conveniences the both of us {or mainly her}. I feel bad, but I am not sorry. We have changed, or maybe we never have but never realized that we were different. Different isn't bad but if one doesn't tolerate the other one or accepts that one as who she/he is than it is not worth it.

This isn't me venting about an old friendship. This is me writing it out and being stronger. This is me living better and making 2015 a fantastic year. This is me getting rid of clutter {friends of all kinds, items, ideas} and making my life simpler, healthier, and above all happier. Isn't that what life is about?!

Friendship to me means being happy with the people I surround myself and share my life with. I won't apologize and I won't budge. It's time to clean my life of all those negative parts, and make room for new things, new friendships, new opportunities.

After all, it is a new year, isn't it?!

images via here and here