Maintaining your Friendships while in a Relationship

Hey my lovely readers,

As I am busy taking care of business in Switzerland, and also kind of mentally help my favorite person move from one place to another {yes, we are moving, and yes, I am not there to help out...cannot change fate or terrible circumstances} I have Lindsay write a post for you today. Don't forget to stop by at her blog and check her out. :)

Have a wonderful week.

S

P.s. if you were wondering what is up with my fonts or not...this blog does not like me today...it just does not.

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It is incredibly important to maintain your friendships and your identity in a relationship, I cannot stress this enough: do not dump or abandon all of your girlfriends when you enter into a relationship.

I know that's typically what happens when you enter into a new relationship, but it's so important to maintain those friendships because those are the friends that are always going to be there for you, through thick and thin and when you need them most.  

When we enter into a new relationship, you're getting to know the person and your life is all about that person, you want to spend every minute with them and sometimes, we neglect our friends because we're simply happy and trying to navigate our way through a new relationship.  The key is finding balance.  This applies to new relationships, whether you've been together with someone for 6 months or even married, it's all the same.  It's important to cultivate that relationship with your partner, but it's also important to take time for yourself and time with your friends in order to grow, to mature, to be able to vent or bounce ideas off of.

You won't realise just how important these friends are to you until they're no longer there. 

Trust me.

In high school, I just wanted to be done and over with it and move on with my life.  I'd always felt like I was more mature than others my age due to circumstances in life and also being an only child. Couple that along with just being sick of high school drama, BS and cliques, I just wanted no part.

So, as a result, I buried myself in school, night school and I ended up graduating one year ahead of my friends.  By graduating early, I left the few friends that I did have and with living in another town as well, I rarely saw any of those people thereafter.

Fast forward almost 15 years later and I can tell you this -- it is hard making friends and meeting new people as an adult.  Not impossible, but also not easy.

So while it's important to foster and build your friendships and relationships in life, it's equally as important making time for your significant other to show them just how much he or she means to you. Don't wait until tomorrow or when it's too late to tell those you care about just how much they mean to you. 

 

Life is short; live, love and zero regrets.

About Lindsay:

Lindsay is 31 and lives just north of Toronto with her husband and two fur-kids, Charlie and Baxter.   You can find her over at: www.theflynnigans.com where she writes about life, fitness, food, travel, marriage and her love of animals.  She works in a stressful corporate job in the legal field so in her down time, she pet sits and dog walks to give back.  When she isn't working or blogging, Lindsay loves to travel, read, SCUBA dive, take photographs, spend time with her family and indulge in far too much reality television. 

 

What Friendship Means to Me

Friendship is a generous word. Some people and cultures take it lightly and call everyone they meet and work with friends, and others choose their friends wisely. Whichever group you belong to doesn't matter when it comes to this post. All that matters is that we all long for the same. We all want friends we can spend time with, talk to, laugh with, call, and just be ourselves. It is that simple. 

Some of us go to work and call those colleagues friends. Some go to school and the classmates they talk to the most are their friends, and others even consider their Facebook friends as friends. Honestly, they aren't your friends. They will probably never consider you a friend unless you two are really truly friends...not colleagues, relatives, neighbors, classmates or people you once spend a day with. A friend should be someone you can text at midnight and a text will come back the same day/hour or very early in the morning apologizing for not responding sooner. A friend is someone you can call and talk about private {if not intimate} things with. A friend is someone who will travel for you if time and money allows. Sometimes this will not be possible and as painful as this may be {I have been in this situation twice so far} that friendship will not suffer. That friendship will grow because both sides will understand and continue to live life as beautifully as lived before. 

Personally I can't stand it when B calls his people at work friends. I have to correct him because those people aren't his friends. They never spend time together unless they work together. They never call or text unless it is work related. They never make plans together. They talk at work {and I don't want to know what they talk about} and that is it. There is no real friendship blossoming. Period.

Granted, as bloggers we have come across different kinds of people. We exchange cards, email on a regular basis, share stories, and yes, even meet up. Friendships form, most of them stay simple, others become so grand they become best friends. Friends you meet up with, travel with, text and call and share the same interests at times. Those blog friends turned real life friends are awesome. Kudos to all of us who have experienced this. 

Friendship to me means all that and much more. I have a few friends left in Europe whom I talk to often but nearly not often enough as I would like. We send each other cards, texts, gifts {I am working on a few things at the moment}, and just brighten each other up with stories and the feeling that yes, no matter the distance, we are there for one another.

I also have a few friends here. Unfortunately we don't live close to one another so I am really trying to make it happen and see them as often as I can. I greatly value the same gesture in return. When I moved I left part of me there. I didn't know it would be hard to find new friends. I didn't expect it to be so easy though, therefore, I have been strongly holding on to what I have left behind. With our lives being busy {or are we making them too busy?} makes it challenging to stay in contact BUT when a friendship really matters we make the effort.

I have had a friend who I thought was a great one to me. Yet, I believe the second she realized how I lived my life, how I studied, how I enjoyed the little things {a glass of wine after a long day for example} or just how I was made her judge me and probably made her disapprove of me. I don't know. I have had this feeling for a long time. I never told anyone. I felt betrayed. I felt bad. I felt sad. Yet, at the same time I told myself that no matter what and when I should remain the person I am. I shouldn't change to get her approval back or even our friendship back. I refused to change, and I still do. It pains me to see her do stuff with other people. It pains me to remember that she wanted to do things with me and then went behind my back and did those things with someone else. It is okay but it is not right to betray me that way. In a way I changed our friendship from "great and personal" to "colleague like", so we talk when it conveniences the both of us {or mainly her}. I feel bad, but I am not sorry. We have changed, or maybe we never have but never realized that we were different. Different isn't bad but if one doesn't tolerate the other one or accepts that one as who she/he is than it is not worth it.

This isn't me venting about an old friendship. This is me writing it out and being stronger. This is me living better and making 2015 a fantastic year. This is me getting rid of clutter {friends of all kinds, items, ideas} and making my life simpler, healthier, and above all happier. Isn't that what life is about?!

Friendship to me means being happy with the people I surround myself and share my life with. I won't apologize and I won't budge. It's time to clean my life of all those negative parts, and make room for new things, new friendships, new opportunities.

After all, it is a new year, isn't it?!

images via here and here

On Friendship

{via}

Over time you start noticing that some people just aren't worth it anymore!

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I found this quote on Pinterest but without a source so if you ever come across the source let me know.
Maybe it's just something someone once said, in a conversation, rather than some major philosopher. 

Either way, it is fitting.

Don't worry, my favorite person and I are still together.
We are happy. We make it work.
I cook. He cleans. He cooks. I clean.
Very simple. Ha!

We all live different lives.
I have a diverse group of friends.
There's the good old Americans, the born and raised Californians, the born and raised American from the South, the Persians, the Europeans, the Turkish, the religious, the non-religious, the slack-offers, the determined ones, the enthusiasts, the creative ones, the famous ones, the inspiring ones, and the traditionalists.
It's a mix of everything and everyone.

Some of my friends get along with others and some just don't.
That is completely fine.
The ones I thought would get along, or I thought I would still get along with just do not work together. 

I made the decision to move on and live my life according to my standards.
I tolerate other people's paths, standards, morals, and what not so I would like to get the same respect in return. That is all I am asking for. I don't want to hear nasty remarks that are halfway muffled down one's throat that just make me question my friendship. I don't want to hear "oh let's get together more often because I miss doing this" and then nothing happens but a huge walk (and probably also talk) behind my back. I tried to ignore it but it hurt.
For my birthday weekend I made the effort but that one remark just had me say NO. 

So,

I respect the friends I have chosen to keep in my life.
I tolerate their lifestyle, and their being so to speak.
We may not always see or hear from each other on a regular basis, and we may have our differences, our fights, and we may even disagree at times but that is very normal. 

We are all adults, and we should accept one another just the way we are. 

Do not try to change me and do not make me feel bad for following my heart, and my intuition. 

That is all I am asking for.

I am blessed to call friends family.
Blog friends have also become friends in real life whether very close or not, it is better than what I went through for the past year. I won't shut that person from my life, but I won't tell that person about my biggest moments in life either. I would rather share the news on the blog...literally.

Anyways, that's my thought of today.
Friendships are needed.
I miss my friends in Europe, and I miss my friends in Southern California (sans one of course).

You have no idea how much.

xoxo

The Eagle Has Left the Nest ....

Hi everyone, I am Marjan.

I have been procrastinating! This is not an easy post for me. I will try my best to be short and sweet. It all started after Selma's initial visit with us where she accompanied us to 13Bedar (getting Rid of the 13th) for the last day of the Persian New Year after which we went to Sushi!

                                                                                                             April 2009

Well, Selma was just visiting back then. I kept bugging her and asking her when she would come back. One day, she said that she would be visiting again and she came to Orange County and stayed with us. Soon after she came to stay and go to school! Here is a picture from the day we picked her up and headed to Laguna Beach! You gotta take a Suncravingirl to the beach to get some sun!

This girl and I have been through so much together from getting yelled at a the supermarket for not using a divider to testing all sorts of nail designs we find on Instagram! Now, the time has arrived and the Eagle Has Left the Nest =(

Selma, you do NOT know how much I appreciate you! You have always been there for me and I truly am grateful...you were like my live-in therapist LOL. I only hope that I was able to do the same.

I can go on forever, but I will not! Instead, I will bombard you with amazing photos because I loooove to take pictures!

Enjoy!

She lets me take crazy pictures and try new angles.....

  

She went apartment hunting with me EVERY year even though I never moved........

 

She helped me set up my Twitter account, my MaryKay With Marjan and my Blog =)

MOST important of ALL ... She loves her little furnephews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

And let me tell you! They miss their Auntie Selma!

Girlfriends - QOTD #19

Good morning my lovelies,

It's been a while. I have been away and enjoyed a fabulous weekend away from home. My long weekend started Wednesday of last week at 12.15pm. Needless to say I was super stoked to start my long weekend so early. More details on this long weekend with photos later on. I mean, I promised to update and share more this year so I will keep this promise. :)

This weekend has officially started again. I'm mostly looking forward to seeing my bestie again. It may just be for a day but it's better than never! So, here's to a wonderful day with my bestie. Cannot wait to hang out, chitchat, shop, and just have a fabulous time.

*edit of 2/21/14 - unfortunately my bestie had to cancel and we could not get together at all. :( 

Any fun plans for you?! 

 {via}

  “Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.” - Sarah Dessen, Someone Like You 

Monday Morning Gossip - Animals, Music, OTH, and Pool included

This week, I'm joining Leeann again and her Monday Morning Gossip.

I'm also using her awesome linkup as a quick weekend recap because I'm sure most of you were wondering what I was up to and where the heck I was since well, my posts lately ended up being almost non-existent.

If you are following me on Instagram you might have seen these... and if you are lucky enough that I let you be part of my facebook, then you know even more. Aside from that, here's what I was doing Friday, Saturday, and Sunday:

Friday, all day, one of my best friends M. and I went to the Pet Expo 2013. We almost adopted all kinds of dogs and cats. She even held a spider and I almost screamed. Cannot stand spiders. We had a blast though, worked on our tan while walking through this gigantic area, and enjoyed receiving information on certain breeds, food, training, and whatnot. It was a well-spent Friday. AND, it was a girls' day out. No guys or husbands or whatnot allowed. Just three girls (her fun mother-in-law came too) and many many animals. I really wanted a dog...but having already two in the house, a third one right now is not an option. :(

But I cuddled with "Stella" from Modern Family. She's definitely a cutie pie!

Then Saturday...besides organizing and preparing a birthday BBQ for a friend of mine, the main goal was to end up at the Troubadour and enjoy a concert. And, we did.

Oh you wanna know who we saw?

Brett Young, Wakey! Wakey!, and Tyrone Wells.

Loved all three performances. We had Lounge Seats upstairs so we could see it all. I preferred that since standing for about four hours isn't really my thing anymore. Besides, if we didn't have those seats we would not have sat next to the executive producer of One Tree Hill (and you know how much I LOVE this show), and saw James Lafferty and Stephen Colletti. So, it was definitely worth it. No?

Yes, I know I'm short. Let's just say he's super tall?! Thank you. 

If you don't know who he is...it's Mike Grubbs from Wakey! Wakey!

Sunday was mainly a relaxing day. Friends from Ventura County came down to our lovely OC area and we basically spent it eating, chatting, chilling, and sunbathing at the pool. Could not complain at all. It was a fantastic day. I think I definitely ate too much, but one can never have too much Sushi, and Chinese.

Hope your weekend has been grand.

This week will be busy...a take-home exam, a weird essay, and wedding preparations. Don't worry. Not mine. I would announce something like that on the blog at some point and not drop this topic accidentally a few days before the event. Just saying. 

Happy Monday everyone!