Your Journey Happens for a Reason

Happy Monday everyone!!

How was your weekend?
Mine? Well, as usual I tried to spend it as casually as possible. I stayed home most of the time, watched a ton of girlie movies, drank a lot of water and tea, ate bounty {chocolate covered coconut bars - and if you know me long enough you know I don't like chocolate but bounty? YES please}, and just enjoyed hanging out in my jammies. That is how I roll these days. Not too shabby.

Also, I had the privilege to enjoy a sunny Sunday afternoon...we drove around for over one hour in hopes to find a nice place to park and walk around and guess what? It wasn't possible. So we ended up going back to my friend's place and ate dessert in a restaurant nearby. It was a great afternoon, but one that exhausted us. My friend's newborn girl however was the champ...no crying, no complaining, just constant sleeping and funny facial expressions. Gotta love babies. 

And...I woke up to an email my FIL wrote to me. He has daughter hugs withdrawals and wishes I was there. Totally made my morning. I will fly home in three weeks folks. Three weeks...cannot wait. I have been away for too long...but what can I say?! Mom wanted me to stay a little longer and she got her wish...I just have to let go of her and our memories for right now, just as much as she let go of me years ago when I decided to move to the US. I have family there now, and I want to be happy there. I will always love my hometown and I will always return, even to visit mom and bring her her favorite flowers but I have to move on and live the life I was meant to live. So knowing my family awaits me and will be there to support me once arrived means the world to me. I am sad but I am hopeful because I have a great support system behind me, and those doggies?! Yes, those doggies will kiss me like they haven't kissed me before {sounds gross now, just re-reading it}. 

I am counting down the days I am going back home embracing my favorite person, hugging everyone, and moving forward. This journey happened for a reason and it is okay. It's part of my life and it will only make me stronger!!!!

Have a fabulous day. Send me some happy vibes though...I always need them.

xoxo

image via here

June Life

My lovelies,

it has been too long. It feels like forever and in a way it has been forever. I am doing well considering what I have been going through. It is funny to think of my current situation. I wanted to visit mom and make sure she is well taken care of, and then return to California after ten days. My ten days now have become probably six weeks, and I will stay even longer but there's light at the end of this long and dark tunnel. I can see it. I am managing, and I am handling it all well. Mom's apartment will be emptied June 30, most of her stuff is gone, given away, donated, or by next week will be tossed forever. I kept a lot, and sent a lot away. The post office definitely loves me. I should get a customer of the month trophy. Also, knowing friends and family took items to remember her by, and to enjoy a carpet or two or a TV or a huge wooden table or books...it means a lot.

Worst part of my entire month was to write her eulogy. I will not be speaking at her funeral. I have a speaker do that difficult task. Yet, I will have family come from Turkey and the US and they will not understand Swiss-German. So, I decided instead of having it all spoken in English all over again I will have it all written out on a paper for those who do not understand my first language. Mom thought, dreamed, and even spoke 99% Swiss-German, so why on earth would I have the service in regular German or any other language? Plus, who wants to lengthen a sad memorial service anyways...we know it hurts, we know it is sad, and we know it sucks...to have it repeated twice is redundant. 

Other than this lengthy process and quite frankly, discrimination against the ones who are left behind (there is so much paperwork to be dealt with it is insane and just morbid...come on, let me mourn, let me enjoy life and go on with it and not feel stuck in my hometown...I want to enjoy it, and I want to love it and look back to the summer I lost my mom, but the summer I also learned to live again without her), I am doing well. I have to remind myself that life goes on. It has to. Mom would have wanted it that way. I mean, let's be frank here, we all know the time will come when we have to say good-bye to our parents, our friends, our relatives...we just try to ignore this very open fact.

I am doing well. Yes, I have said this three time already...but I am. Okay, yes, I have my moments and I know those moments will repeat themselves...especially when I am back in California surrounded by my in-laws and hubby, all trying to help me out and stuff. I will be more than just grateful for their help (and they have been helpful ever since). Yet, I know, I will have good days, and I will have terrible days. 

The good days I know will be in July...early July I will be flying to Istanbul to see my entire relatives again. It will be a family reunion after many many years. It has been years that we were all together in one place...usually always one part was missing...either my uncle from the US with his clan, or my Turkish cousins were doing a year abroad or something. This time we all will be together. Just mom will be missing but I will honor her that whole time and make sure we will remember her. Also, the main reason I am going is my cousin's wedding. What better thing to do than celebrate life and love by attending your cousin's special day? We have always been close so it will be just an awesome celebration. Also, she is coming to mom's memorial service...if she can come for a few days to my place, then I can come for a few days to her place.

Also, I am trying to have most things settled and handled this month so I can fly back home to California in July. Please send me some happy, healthy, and speedy thoughts and vibes over. I need them more than ever. I am almost done here. I miss California. I miss my favorite person, and I miss my life there. Sounds weird but I chose to live there and be there so it is time to do this exact thing. I really do not want to stay here any longer than I have to. I am so exhausted and so ready to leave...so send me some good vibes please. Thank you!!!

One day I will catch up...promised!

xoxo

images via {I don't remember} and here

Mother and Daughter

{via}

Thank you so much for all the love and happy, positive thoughts and prayers. My mom's surgery went well and she was recovering for the next couple of days in the ICU. Since yesterday afternoon she is in her own room getting stronger day by day. Considering she is not a young spring chicken anymore, she is a very strong and powerful woman. She's my hero.

I went through an extreme time with unsure tornado-like thoughts making it impossible for me to think clearly. I cried every day. I felt alone. I felt lost. I was close to booking a flight home just to sit in the waiting area. Yet, it would not have made much sense. After such a difficult surgery all one needs is rest. Lots of rest. So I would have flown over for nothing. Literally. Okay, I would have probably cleaned her place, and taken care of laundry and bills {which have been taken care of by her best friend}, but I would not have had a chance to be close to her. So, in a way it's good I didn't fly over. 

My mom even told me not to do it. She said she'd rather see me once she's back home, 90% healed and ready to slowly live life by herself again. She will spend this week in the hospital, and then move to a recovery facility for about one month as far as I know. After that she will be able to go home if the doctors allow it {I am sure they will}. I am planning on visiting her in June and July. Alone. Yes, my favorite person will stay behind, studying his butt off while I will take care of my mom. It will be challenging but part of a cycle everyone somehow at some point in life {sooner or later} has to go through. I have mixed feelings but I know it will all be good. It's life, and life happens every single second. We don't say "every second counts" for nothing.

As a daughter, I am proud of my mom. I am sorry she had to go through this right now at her age. However, it's her life. She will get through this, and heal perfectly. She is stronger than she thinks. I just know it. I learned my lesson through her and her health. I am living a healthier life, and making sure I take care of myself. I have to. I just must. In a way, I believe, the choices I have made in my life are based on how I grew up, and how I saw my mom and family live {healthy or not}. No wonder I chose to work on a food challenge this first half of the year. Living healthy, and feeling better is a major goal of mine. Always has been, always will be!

xoxo

P.s. Update: my mom's surgery was a crucial one; also, it all turned out to be related to a medication she was given 20 years ago to stabilize her stomach issues. It's crazy to think that a simple medication trying to help you in one area may actually cause a whole other issue in another area over time. Insane. Hearing this scared me but it also opened up eyes. Again, I learned my lesson. I also know why I am a strong believer in "you are what you eat and how you live". Everything is always connected. 

That One Busy Weekend in October

This weekend was busy. Good busy, just to get it straight. It started on Wednesday when we went to a pumpkin patch in Sacramento. Luckily we chose to go on a hot weekday, so it wasn't crowded and we could literally enjoy the entire thing. On weekends it is always so packed and filled with screaming parents and kids...not as much fun. Don't get me wrong, if a weekend is the only time you can go then by all means. We were just fortunate to go on a Wednesday, get sunburned {it was 97 degrees after all}, and pick three cute pumpkins. 

This looks like we were kissing. We were not. We don't like PDA, so when I saw this shadow I had to take a photo of it. Too funny. This was on our hayride to the pumpkin patch where I almost fell off the thing, laughed a lot and was scared for my life...after all I am a big city girl - no wonder I freaked out. We ended up getting three pumpkins we have waiting at home for their turn to be carved and eaten. :)

On Friday right after school we drove south to Bakersfield and enjoyed some time with friends and family. It was nice to get away and be around familiar faces and just people for that matter. I spend most of my time at home by myself, and have occasional talks with a few turkeys or spiders I kill {haha} but that is about it. Getting away just for a couple of days was a blessing. Bakersfield isn't around the corner and the normal four hours turned into five long hours. We didn't hit much traffic but enough stupid drivers not knowing how to drive safely. Ridiculous. We made it in one piece back and forth, and I cannot wait to go back south soon again!!

We went to parts of Kern River...amazingly beautiful, and clear. Loved to walk around the water. My feet have not felt happier. Also, we played with dogs, had fun conversations, and a wonderful get-together!

You have seen this lady before. She used to be my roommate, but since my life changes we live in different parts of this wonderful state of California. Also, I wanted to eat the dog's ears. She's the cutest dog; at least she smile while I took out my scary October face.

 

I cannot smile. I look like a weird robot...but at least the reflection in the water was beyond gorgeous; hence me sharing this with you. Oh and I also brought my purse to the river. Good thing, I had space for multiple cell phones so no one would drop theirs...and I made sure nothing went into the water that did not belong there. :) 

Wish I could go back there next weekend. 

How was your weekend?
Any fun fall activities planned for the next few weeks?!

Going to wine tasting next weekend, and spend some time with family. Cannot wait. Besides, it is cooling down. Finally. FINALLY. I am so over those 90+ degrees.

Happy Monday!!

P.s. Linking up with Leeann over for her weekly Monday Morning Gossip linkup!

We Miss You

Over the weekend I was supposed to laugh, dance, smile, and enjoy a memorable couple of days to celebrate not only a new stage in my current life, but also the last couple of days before fall time really begins. It already has cooled down a little, and is now also darker sooner at night. I am officially excited about fall. However, my happy weekend came to a sudden halt when I heard that my beloved uncle in Switzerland had passed away over night. Monday was a day I recall as The Crying Day. Literally. Not my finest moment but hey, life happens and I have learned that keeping emotions in for too long is never a good thing. So, I cried. I mourned. Even today, just writing this and letting my thoughts flow as they come along makes my eyes feel weak and teary.

My uncle was the kindest, sweetest, and most quiet man I remember. His wit was beyond funny, and he knew how to work hard, enjoy life with the finest wines and foods, and be a happy husband, grandfather, uncle, brother and friend. He was so mellow, so down-to-earth, it was always a pleasure to be around him. When something was sad he would make sure to bring at least a smile back to our faces. He would always joke but in a decent way, just to lighten up the sad or boring moments. His jokes made me cry - that is how much I laughed. He was our calm soul in the family, a man I always looked up to, and admired for being strong and determined to never give up.

Unfortunately, his strength and determination deteriorated this year. Two years ago he was diagnosed with cancer. Well, a huge tumor grew next to his lung and even though it was reduced, removed and literally killed, it decided to come back and hunt this gorgeous man. If you didn't know it you would not have known that he was going through chemotherapy. His hair stayed black naturally, and hardly went gray. He didn't lose his humor, and he was still himself. Yet, the ugly tumor was stronger. He got weaker and my mom told me that he was deteriorating lately; keeping to himself, sleeping a lot, and staying in his room watching movies. 

Without much pain, and that I call fortunate, he finally fell asleep forever Monday early morning. Quietly, just how he lived life, he departed and left a big void in our lives. I am more than just heartbroken knowing I cannot be with my family. Whenever I think of him, I start crying. His jokes are needed now. I really need a good laugh. Hopefully he will send some funny stuff downward so I can smile and maybe cry because I have to laugh so incredibly hard. I am so over this sadness. 

We know you are looking out for us, and are watching us live our lives with your friends, siblings, my grandma, and my cousin. You won't judge us, or roll your eyes. You will enjoy what you see, and we look forward to see you and your humor in others. I know that much.

We will miss you R.

The Eagle Has Left the Nest ....

Hi everyone, I am Marjan.

I have been procrastinating! This is not an easy post for me. I will try my best to be short and sweet. It all started after Selma's initial visit with us where she accompanied us to 13Bedar (getting Rid of the 13th) for the last day of the Persian New Year after which we went to Sushi!

                                                                                                             April 2009

Well, Selma was just visiting back then. I kept bugging her and asking her when she would come back. One day, she said that she would be visiting again and she came to Orange County and stayed with us. Soon after she came to stay and go to school! Here is a picture from the day we picked her up and headed to Laguna Beach! You gotta take a Suncravingirl to the beach to get some sun!

This girl and I have been through so much together from getting yelled at a the supermarket for not using a divider to testing all sorts of nail designs we find on Instagram! Now, the time has arrived and the Eagle Has Left the Nest =(

Selma, you do NOT know how much I appreciate you! You have always been there for me and I truly am grateful...you were like my live-in therapist LOL. I only hope that I was able to do the same.

I can go on forever, but I will not! Instead, I will bombard you with amazing photos because I loooove to take pictures!

Enjoy!

She lets me take crazy pictures and try new angles.....

  

She went apartment hunting with me EVERY year even though I never moved........

 

She helped me set up my Twitter account, my MaryKay With Marjan and my Blog =)

MOST important of ALL ... She loves her little furnephews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

And let me tell you! They miss their Auntie Selma!

Time Flies

{via}

Three years ago at pretty much this exact time I heard of an accident.
It is incredible and impossible to describe how one feels when any reality becomes one's own.

****

Three years have passed.

Three years you have been missed.
So much has changed and happened, you won't believe it.

Every day I am here I am thankful. I am here because of you.

Time flies and it is just crazy.
There are moments I still think you are around, and catch myself accidentally asking my mom if you went to a family event, too. I then clean up my mess and say something that rhymes with or sounds like your name.
I breathe heavily after that.

To me, you are still around.
To me, you just celebrated your 23rd birthday, and welcomed your brother back from Australia.

To me, you still roll your eyes on how silly your dad acts at times.
To me, you rock out to your favorites tunes in clubs.

To me, you travel and you smile and you want to come visit California.

To me, you live in all kinds of things but especially in sunrises and sunsets.

Life goes on. Life is good.
I am happy where I am.
Yes, I miss home incredibly. Every day.
I miss walking to my favorite cafe, I miss bumping into people I know - including you.
I miss the smell of the lake in the summer, and our Carnival season.

I miss our family. I miss my friends.

However, you know what?
You have showed me that life is short.
You have taught me to do what I want to do and be the person I need to be.

I sacrifice a lot by not being home, by not spending time with family and friends as often as I would like to.
Yet, I am living my life and I am being happy...

...but you know that already.

Thank you, J. 

Take care.

We miss you.

***

#1, #2, #3

It will get better

 {via}

Sometimes I wish I had a portal to go through.

Today is one of those days.

Time flies, we all know that.
Once we lose someone close we realize this even more.

Today is a good day.

Yes, it is.
It is the reminder of why I am back here in my California.

It is the day that changed not only my life but others too.

If nothing like that happened I'd probably still be in Europe, miserable.
Or, I'd be in Europe doing something I don't want to be doing.

If nothing happened two years ago, your brother would not be in Australia right now.

He's like me, traveling and living abroad.
I know he would have done it sooner or later but I know he did it sooner. Just because.

Two years ago you just made me mad.
I blamed you. Then I blamed whoever was driving.

Then I blamed no one.
Turned out, well, no one was at fault.
My ridiculous intelligent professor would say you went with your passion.

That passion shaped you.
That passion led you to be where you were that morning.

And yes, it ultimately ended your life.

Call it fate or destiny.

I call it purpose.

Thank you, J.

You know why.

Today is a good day.

Yes, it is.

And I know... 

 {via}

Back to reality!

St. Louis was awesome.
Cold, and so not what I was used to and still...it was everything I needed for my time being in the Midwest. I had a blast seeing family again, and spending some time with them and seeing where they actually live. Believe it or not, I had never been there. They always visited me, so now I thought it was about time to visit them. I think I did the right thing!

I had so much fun in St. Louis. We even went up on the Arch and enjoyed a rather clear view of the city! Unfortunately, as you can see...there was NO SNOW. I was bummed. Then again, maybe it was better this way! ;)

More pictures to come...

I have to admit I am happy to be back in California again. Just being back to my regular schedule, regular wardrobe and all makes me happy. Ridiculous I know...but it's what it is. Besides, I would not be able to share the following awesome news if I wasn't back to my regular base!

My BFF (never thought I'd use this expression ever) in the whole wide world is expecting a baby!!! I am beyond stoked. Beyond!!!! Now I'm certainly hitting the baby fever...seriously! Either way, the baby's due this early summer and I am just stoked. I may even go as far as throwing her a baby shower. I know she wants one, but parties like that aren't common in Switzerland so I don't know. Oh well. At least I get to buy more baby clothes now! YAY!!

And there's more news...but I can't spoil it yet because I never know who actually reads my blog! I will once the time is right...just remember my words for now...I know something that certain people think I don't know. They are trying really hard to confuse me but it ain't working baby!!! I know how to investigate...and well, I'm usually two to three steps ahead these days. I just pretend I am not! I just pretend I don't know anything at all. I really don't.

Hope you had a fantastic Christmas (if you celebrate it)...and hope you are enjoying the last few days of this year!! Can you believe that next week is actually already next year?!
I still can't!

Have a brilliant day.
Stay happy, keep smiling...and just pretend you didn't read the part about the secret thing I don't know about. I really just made it up. Maybe. Hmmm, yes yes, I just made it up. ;-)

xoxo

P.s. I really did not make it up! I know!!!

Welcome Home, However You Define It

Hello there! I'm Amy from Crazy Random Happenstances. I really appreciate Selma letting me write over here in her part of the blog world!

And before you get bored from my intro, let me jump right in to... Love Actually.

I love movies... and the second I saw the opening sequence of Love Actually I was mesmerized. In case you haven't seen it, the movie opens with raw video footage of the arrival gate at Heathrow airport. Hugs and kisses and love are flying around freely as people are reunited with friends and family.

It always makes me a little weepy.

Besides setting up the movie perfectly, it also makes me think of my childhood a little bit. I grew up with a father who travelled a minimum of 30 weeks a year. And we actually travelled some of the time with him. By the time I was in kindergarten, the arrival gate at the airport already had two significant meanings to me. One: the fun was over. Two: I got to sleep in my own bed that night. And let me tell you, the latter always beat out the former.

I just love coming back to something I've been away from. I loved walking into home and just feeling welcome, like there was nowhere else I belonged at that moment.

The "welcome home" sensation goes so far beyond travel. It reaches into our soul. "Welcome home" gives a sense of belonging. A sense of sanity. A sense of familiarity. And that's always something I look forward to.

Source: dana-made-it.com via Debbie on Pinterest

I always feel a bit nervous walking back to my house, luggage in tow, getting ready to settle down again and unpack. Like something's going to change, like I'm not going to find my groove again. But I always have been able to.

I get this same feeling whenever I get a chance to see my 2 year old nephew. His face lights up whenever I tell him hello. He runs towards me, like I'm the best thing he's ever seen. Mimi! Mimi! he cries (since he can't quite say Amy). It's adorable. And it's familiar. I look forward to it every time I go home to visit my family.

The same goes for yearly football games, black eyed peas on New Years, and putting up the Christmas tree.  Making home feel welcoming through traditions is something everyone in the world can relate to.

I love how universal yet unique the "welcome home" sensation can be. Everyone's definition of "home" is different. But the sensation is the same.

In Love Actually the different "welcome home" realizations came in all different forms - one letting go of a love he's held on to too long, a few couples finding love, and an older couple just learning to deal with each other's failings - but the same sensation of l-o-v-e binds them all together. Which is the theme of the movie. "Love actually is all around." It's the love, in whatever form, that is at the base of "welcome home." And that's what I look forward to at any given moment of every day.

Source: shannoneileenblog.typepad.com via lila on Pinterest

What are some of your "welcome home" moments? What makes you feel safe and familiar?


I'd love to know.

Thanks for reading! And thanks to Selma for letting me write a little something over here. I really loved the opportunity!

************************************************************

Thank you Amy for this wonderful guest post!
I have been busy adjusting to home again, and this post made me almost cry! In a good way of course!! And yes, Love Actually is all around. You have to just open your eyes and let it in...it is around, but sometimes we are too blind to see or feel it! 

Thanks again Amy!!! :D

♥  Selma

Good-Bye

Source: beyondtherack.com via Selma on Pinterest

We are ready.
To let go.

Source: etsy.com via Selma on Pinterest

We will be missing you.
Every day, every hour, and every minute!

Say hi to grandma for me.
I know you will.

♥ S ♥

Thank You

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Life continues.
Spring arrived, and I'm loving it.
At least something this week brightening up my day.
Monday was a very bad day, Tuesday was a slight bit better, Wednesday was sunny and warm and I saw my favorite soul singer walking towards me (I love those moments - and may I say his family is super cute!), and today, Thursday...only good things will happen.

Thank you all.
I never thought something like this would hit our family so suddenly.

Her friends are grieving, her parents and brother are well, you know. And the rest of the family well, we are trying to live life every minute, and imagine she's in a great place now wondering why she's up there after a fun evening out with her best friend.

To all of you my lovely readers...wherever you are...if you find yourself going out and driving around...no matter what time it is...if you feel just a slight bit tired, even the tiniest amount, get cash and take a cab back home or ride with public transportation. You may not have the funds for a ride like that but in the end it's always worth it. Always. And I hope I do not have to mention the all-time saying: Never ever drink and drive.

One wonderful thing I can be proud of is that alcohol was not involved!!!

Double thank you. 

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And yes, even during times like these...happy thoughts and moments are important!


xoxo,

♥ S ♥

....

You know, life is funny.

One moment you are happy, relaxed, and you look at life so positively...

...and the next, your world is shattered into pieces, and you constantly ask yourself why.

And all this can happen within seconds, and you just sit there and do not understand what is going on. My world stopped turning yesterday.

Within seconds nothing seemed as it was, and nothing made sense anymore.
I believed thoughts and prayers were strong and would help us overcome something so tragic.
Unfortunately, and we all know this, sometimes thoughts and prayers are just not enough.
Sometimes nothing is enough.
Sometimes you just lose.
And we lost.
You.

♥ ♥ ♥

To my dear J.:

I remember the day you were born, I was helping mom fold laundry, and the phone rang and your dad happily pronounced your arrival on a quite beautiful day we all call Valentine's Day.
You brought light and happiness into our lives.

I remember you crawl towards me like a little baby crab. 

Just a few weeks ago I mentioned your funny walk, even though this is over eighteen years ago.

I played and danced with you, kissed you good-night, fed and changed you, helped you hold your little brother on the day he was born. You were my little one, and you were always that to me.

You made us all smile on my birthday parties - you were the highlight!!
We lost touch but that has nothing to do with the two of us or how I feel about you.

Your parents split and things changed, but our blood is the same.

You are part of me, and although life led us to different locations, life styles, and all we are family.

I am more than just thankful you went out and had fun, even followed my footsteps by going abroad for a few months...I am immensely proud of you. We all are.

Unfortunately, you did not hear me last week when I called your name, so we could not even say hello and  quickly toast to you turning 20! You were in a hurry to be some place, and things around us were loud, so no one's to blame. I am just beyond happy to have seen you then. 

Your mom, dad, and brother, as well as your cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, great-grandparents, friends, co-workers and many more you have touched are incredibly proud of you and love you.

What happened was beyond our control, and cannot be erased.
We are shocked, speechless, shaken, heartbroken, more than just sad, and in total conflict with our current world. There are no words to describe how painful it is to even think of the unspoken, to know that you are no longer around us, to even write this all out, but knowing you are not alone right now gives me peace and lets me believe that you are happy now - wherever you are.

Rest in peace.
You are missed.
Always.

Please keep my entire family in your thoughts and prayers.

And just for you J., so you don't need to find a dictionary or ask me all the time. ;)
*För dech gon ech erscht rächt gärn ad Fasnacht, denn das leggt au be der im Bluet. Du hesch zwar das Johr nedeso welle go, du als Guuggerchend, hesch en fantastischi Sach letscht sowie die Woche verpasst. Aber ond genau drom gon ech höt, wie gäschter, för eusi ganz Family a eusi 5ti Johresziit, denn öpper muess use - ech weiss du verstohsch das!!*

♥ S ♥

Monday Inspiration

Last night was the Academy Award Night aka Oscars Night.
For years it's a ritual of mine to watch it - no matter where I am on this planet.
We used to dress up on Sunday night and watch it with little appetizers and such. That was all back in the day when I lived closer to the big event and when time wasn't a big issue. Not so over here. I worked till 11pm and by the time I got home I was exhausted but still determined to stay awake. And I did. From the beginning till the end...it was nice. Not spectacular or overly great or whatever...just nice. My eyes barely stayed open (just imagine me lying on the sofa in my PJ's *so much for the dress ritual* and a huge cup of hot tea, three blankets wrapped around and the TV right in front of me)...it was 1am till 5.30am. YUP. Insane I know. But okay. It's my ritual and I did it. :) I will not be talking about the dresses or the winners as so many of you already have. All I'm gonna say is that I wish I'd look half as pretty and elegant as Helen Mirren did last night. She was my absolute favorite of all. Yes, I admit it...she's no young actress and definitely not one of those "well-known kinds" but to me she pulled it off with her dress and grace. :)

Today I woke up quite early...thinking of when I went to bed. BUT I have to be back at work this afternoon so there's no real time to sleep in and relax. Hopefully I can find my make-up skills somewhere and make me look fresh and happy and all. Right now I look pale. Booh. Might also be the lack of sun we're getting here. This got me thinking a lot...I'm a lot happier when the sun's out. Sure, everyone is...we discovered this a long time ago. However, I truly believe I am a totally different person when the sun's out and shining...I'm more relaxed, energized, open to everything and everyone, full of ideas, dreams, and just happy. Some say the winter blues hits a lot of people and I believe that. I just discovered that I am a summer person...to me it could be summer all year long. Not hot summer but just mild and wonderful summer...75 degrees every single day, max. 80 degrees...a mild breeze from time to time...almost blue sky and the sun right there looking down and smiling for about 10 hours or so. :D Nothing against that. So I conclude...I live in the wrong part of the world, wrong time anyway, and just will make myself miserable the longer I try to do what I think is best when I know exactly that what I think is best is wrong and that I just deny what's good for me. This sentence makes a lot more sense when you can feel what I've been feeling. Needless to say, I'm gonna try and change lots of things. Yes, I know I've been talking about this for so long it sickens me. However, it is always easier said than done. Plus, sudden changes scare me so I'm trying to stay cool and take it day by day...slowly.

Ok, I wanted to make this short...I am exhausted and my soup's ready...great lunch. Really. The only decent meal I get to eat today. Just awful. Very unhealthy too. Oh well.

So, I wanted to wrap this up today...with pictures of course...and hopefully these will not only inspire me but also you. Happy Monday everyone!!!!! Hope you had an awesome weekend and an even greater start into the new week!!!

 

 

  via weheartit

AND...I wanted to shout out a very happy birthday to one of my oldest friends. We've known each other for 23 years and it's been a blast!!!!! Love her and am so thankful for having her in my life. She's always been like my older sister (even though we're only a few months apart) and therefore family to me. Happy Birthday Girl...have a blast and I'll be thinking of you...so sorry I can't celebrate with ya today. But I told ya on the phone a few minutes ago...we'll celebrate later!!!! For sure!!!!  Love ya!!!

Happy Monday.

xoxo

Postcards

credit: here

Have I ever mentioned that I absolutely love postcards?!
I love to open my mailbox and have colorful postcards flying out as if waiting for me to finally check on them so they could show me where they are actually coming from. Today I got two! Ok, not a big deal I know. 20 would be a more appropriate number to be happy about but two is fair enough and plenty.

One was from my dear friend M. in Japan. Three years ago she came to my city and we met again (after so many years). I showed her places and she and her mom really enjoyed Europe. Today I got a postcard from her, and her husband!!!! It was a thank-you postcard with two wonderful wedding pictures (one traditional Japanese, the other very westernized) and their new address. This sure brightened my day!!! (ok, it saddened it, too...when is my turn, hello?!)
The other postcard was from my cousin living in New Haven, CT. Ever since she moved there I knew she didn't belong and couldn't find a way to adjust. I went all the way to visit her and cheer her up and I'm sure for those brief three days we spent together it worked but for the past few months now she fell back into her lab routine and out of her life routine. Nothing against New Haven and Yale, but I never saw her living there. So, in all her misery she left the town, heck the country, and spent some time in Europe. Impulsive. Family style. ;) Needless to say, her postcard came from Florence, but was actually written and sent from Istanbul. Now she's back in CT trying to live day by day and finish her business asap so she can leave again. Compared to my first postcard today, hers really depressed me. She should have gone to California. I would have known so many people willing to help her out, support her, cheer her up, and I'd have been there more often than on the East Coast...but she decided to go to New Haven and work there. At least I got to visit that place, too. Thank you. But it all just confused me. Her life, my life, all our lives... we are all so very different and still when it comes to life decisions like these or even slight decisions we end up in the same pot. Is life really that difficult to handle?!

What a typical Monday questions....

Have a fun day.