Obviously today was a very bad day.
Never mind busy moments, lots of questions and phone calls and tons of thinking and organizing...but once I'm yelled at for the good *and may I call it slightly perfect* job I'm doing I can and will not accept this. And then it hit me. Just two more months are ahead of me and I am done. It's a scary thought, but just writing it down makes it sooooo possible and so just around the corner.
For the past seven days I've learned that there are people out there truly appreciating my work and what I do to make them happy and all. It's the small things that count. It's a smile, or just a hello, or just the fact that I will cancel a doctor's appointment for a very special (I try to avoid important) person. I'm going to do this tomorrow on my day off. Yes, even then. But I've learned that there are indeed people out there knowing how hard I work and how much effort I put in every single action over a break-less 9-hour shift. Yesterday was one of the best days. I made lots of people happy. I make lots of people happy every day. It's part of my job. It's what I went to school for, and even though I get paid squat for all the effort and magic I bring into this place I also learned that some people just don't see it and love to yell at me. I believe, and yes this may sound conceited, that I am the one holding this place together. Trust me. I never talk like this but in this case, I believe so. My patience is gone and well, the appreciation I received over the past few days was awesome...all the negativity not so much...I cried, had to ditch a friend's spontaneous call/coffee stop/whatever, cried some more, talked to my mom about this, and honestly told her that I just know that this place won't survive with its current attitude coming all the way from above. Sad but true.
It's time to let go and start fresh. Where? How? No clue.
If I'm being yelled at for no real reason, not even knowing how much positivity I give and how much I have to work in order to keep it all in and make everyone happy, I don't see a point in continuing. At all. It ruins me.
If I'm being yelled at for no real reason, not even knowing how much positivity I give and how much I have to work in order to keep it all in and make everyone happy, I don't see a point in continuing. At all. It ruins me.
So, can't and won't write more.
I'm too exhausted and need to rest.
I'm very sad, and very disappointed in everything right now.
I'm too exhausted and need to rest.
I'm very sad, and very disappointed in everything right now.
Don't know how to proceed tomorrow but it's all going to be okay. It just has to.
Easier said than done.
♥ Selma ♥
6 comments :
Boo! I'm sorry you're having not a great day. I hope tomorrow is much better!
Each day that passes brings you closer to the end, right??? Keep your chin up!
this sounds awful :( I'm sorry :( What you do is probably right up there with being a ticket agent at the airport - I've seen enough of them get yelled at that I would NEVER do it - my skin isn't that thick, haha :)
and PS I totally can't wait to go to that place in zurich either!
Sorry to hear that your week has not been so great!!! :-( Hopefully it turns around-- you deserve MUCH better! Make my hamburger sliders and you're guaranteed to enjoy your evening at least!! ;-)
I'm so sorry that you had such a bad day! I HATE it when people don't realize/appreciate all that you do. It's the worst. Negativity is like poison. It makes everyone unhappy. Let yourself be free! And find someone that does appreciate all that you do.
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