April 28, 2015

What If...

A few days ago, Daman from Here I Scribble shared what she thought her life would look like had things been different. This got me thinking about my "what ifs". I try to stay away from looking back on life and wondering what life would be like if I had done something differently, if I had picked a different route. Yet, it still made me think, and today I am sharing it with you. 

What if I had not chosen the high school I went to?
I would have probably started working at 16/17, and probably ended up with the wrong crowd. I would have not had the travel opportunities and would be miserable with my life thinking I should have gone to the high school my mom suggested. Also, I would not have my best friend in my life.

What if I had not gone to San Francisco after high school?
I would not have traveled and experienced as much, probably would have never gone to the US in general, and would be very one-sided in my culinary and cultural adventures. Coming from an international family, I would have been the black sheep not allowing myself to grow.

What if I stayed at my old job and never went back to college?
I would probably still be working at the same job, being miserable. I might have changed the company but would be doing the same old, same old. It would be draining, and my social life {not to mention love life} would be non-existent. Yes, I would be close to my mom right now, have plenty of money and time to travel and buy what I wanted but it would not be fulfilling. 

What if my educational route in the US had worked out as planned?
I would be studying right now instead of writing this blog post. I would be happy knowing I'd be working on my dream. I would be reading, writing, over analyzing, and going slightly insane. I would be still in the Sacramento area {not Orange County} living with my favorite person, but things between the two of us would be different and we would hardly see each other.

What if I had different genes?
I would have had a different name, a different upbringing, and I would not have probably ended up where I am today. I would not be able to call three different countries my homes and my favorite places in the world. 

What If I had said no?
Things would have been ugly. I would be working somewhere in California. I also would be packing things up to move back to Europe, being more lonely and less loved feeling I just failed my entire life yet again. I would dread going back because nothing ever works out in my life.

There is a reason I avoid thinking about my "what ifs". We cannot go back and change our choices. Even if, we would still wonder and create a totally different list of "what ifs". We would always find a way to question and second guess our life. Yet, this very moment is our life. This is what we have or don't have. Our life is now, whether it is good or bad or a mixture of both. I am embracing my current life and trying to make the best of it; after all, we only have this one to cherish and love to the fullest. 

What are your what ifs?


Amanda Elizabeth - Meet @ the Barre said...

The what ifs of life! Isn't it so crazy to think where your life would be if you choose a different path at that fork in the road?

Linds F. said...

A thousand what ifs and directions life could've gone or should've taken you. The infinite possibilities and opportunities that await..

I saw Daman's post last week and I'm meaning to do a post on What ifs.


Gracey Williams said...

Thinking about my what ifs messes with my anxiety, haha. But sometimes it is good to think about them and reassure myself that I will be ok and everything I've gone through has gotten me where I am now, even if it's not exactly where I want to be

Breakfast at Gracey's

Anonymous said...

Have you ever seen the film Sliding Doors? It's about this sort of thing, and it was filmed in the neighbourhood I lived in at the time. Of course if I'd stayed there, my life would have been very different! ;) Btw I'm from Europe too :)

Joey said...

Great post, love. It's hard to explore the "what ifs"

Here I scribble said...

Loved reading your What-ifs :)
Here I Scribble


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