A Letter to My Insecure Younger Self

Dear Selma,

Hi, how are you? I hope this letter finds you happy, smiling, and content with your life. If not, change it immediately because the world, with its current turmoil in several countries, is beautiful and awaits you to explore it. So get up and go and don't waste another minute of it. 

I am writing this to you today to let you know you should not look forward to being older. Enjoy every moment of your youth, every moment you spend with your mom; even the moments she drives you insane and seems not to understand you. Spend every moment with your grandma, even your grandfather and everyone else in your life. Make it a habit to visit family and friends more often. Don't take anyone for granted. Trust me. 

Do not frown at the high school choice your mom throws in your face. She wants you to get a great education and a better start into your future. One day you will know why. You will not like it the first day of school but it will get easier. High school will be not your favorite. You will do much better in French, and you will excel in English, History and German. Oh, and ignore those girls who talk behind your back and give you false promises. You will never see them again and you will not miss out a thing. The best thing out of high school will be one girl. Yes, the high school your mom will pick out for you will give you one amazing friend. You will become best friends for life. Trust me. You two will have ups and downs as it is expected in a friendship but it will be all worth it. She will be your sister and she will have great stories to tell you and you will be very proud of her accomplishments in life, including her little family.

There will be times where you just hate everything. This is OK. Don't roll your eyes. It happens to everyone. When you are about 18 you have the urge to travel. It is not just to travel, it is to leave your home. As much as it will hurt and as much as it will bring conflict to your life, follow that dream. Don't second-guess yourself. Don't hesitate. Your decision to do this is not to spite your mother or anyone else in your life. It is to make yourself happier and feel more fulfilled. Happiness is what you want! Always, always, remember this because when you are about 34 it will feel like you did it all on purpose. You did not. 

When you start your journey, remember that you are following your dream; the dream in your heart. Do not leave home forever. Your home, where you grew up, will always be part of you. So when you leave make sure you have plenty of phone calls with your mother, plenty of emails that you share. Plenty of everything. Even if it is repetitive, do it. Call every other day, email as often as possible, and later on text and Skype/FaceTime as often as possible; even on those days you don't feel like talking. Do it. Yes, you can hide certain things from her like everyone does {some details need no explanation or sharing} but do not block her out.

Enjoy every trip you take with your mom. Don't take her for granted. You won't in those moments you travel with her but when you reach a certain age you may think you did. So overdo it. Overdo it all. Take her nosy, over-mothering self not for granted. She cherishes you. She loves you. She may never say it to you but know she treasures you. She's proud of you. She lives and works for you. Don't take that for granted. Take her out and pay for her a few times. Put yourself in her shoes and think of all the hard work she put herself through in order for you to live the life you are living. So, make sure to spend a lot of time with her. You want to spend your life your way and that is fine, but force her to come out and do more things with you. Challenge yourself and your mom  to walk more, to drink more water, to eat healthier, to explore more. Together. There will be a time when she needs you to lead the way. Be a role model. She will be against change, she will be against most of what I just said you needed to do with her and she will frown and say she doesn't feel like it or doesn't want to do it or cannot afford it. Come up with an idea to make it happen. You have lots of ideas. Make it happen, Selma. Don't wait and say "one day" or "soon". Do it now!! Do it!!

You will study. You will try really hard. You will succeed. You will have some obstacles especially when it comes to money. Do not give up. Help with present itself. It will happen. You will get the support, don't worry about it. Don't frown so much, your wrinkles on your forehead will not be fun to treat so stop worrying too much. Your studies will pay off. 

Life will not be always happy. At 25 you will not be married. You will have to move back home. It will be fine. You two won't be too lonely and despite what others think or believe, you are doing well staying at home with mom because it gives you both time to spend together. 

There will be times when you feel lonely because your friends live their lives and look successful when you do not. Don't frown, it's okay. Your time will come, just later in life. You will meet your prince at the most impossible time and it will feel amazing. He will amaze you. He will shock you. He will become your best friend. You will marry this great blond guy. He will be a lot younger and yes, it will feel weird at first but no one in the end cares. You will complete each other and he will make you a very happy girl. Make sure you introduce him to mom properly. Do not wait too long. Tell her. Don't be scared. Just tell her. It will be alright. Tell her also that she will not be replaced and that she is missed. She will think you are replacing her. It is crucial to tell her that she is wrong with her assumption.

Now about the main reason I am writing this to you:

About nine months into your marriage you will learn that your mom is sick and in the hospital. You will think it will all be good. Everyone will think that way. Unfortunately, fate wants you to experience hardship. You will have the opportunity to spend three days with her and show her that you care and love her. Yet, mom will die too soon and too fast as a result of too many years popping too many pills. It will not be her fault. It will not be your fault. Do not feel guilty. You will feel guilty but stop it right there and then. You will feel weak, stupid, and just not right. You will hate yourself for not leaving earlier and spending more time with her. You have to remember that you were not allowed to travel for a while and even if you were able to spend more time with her, ask yourself the question whether or not it would have changed the outcome?! I can tell you NO.

You will not be alone after this. People will help you out. Friends and family will come and help you clean, donate, organize, support, hug, and joke with you. You will feel like shit, and you will feel very empty. You will feel a lot of emotions and it will hurt. You will get through this. The pain will linger longer than you want it to but again, it's okay. The pain will feel like a heart attack and it will bother you for months but it will be alright. Don't worry. Your heartache will be very strong. Your lungs, your shoulders and your stomach will hurt. Don't worry, and don't panic. You will spend three long months back home going through all kinds of emotions, seeing friends and family and you will return home to your new life. You will seek the help you need, and the plans you had will be postponed. You don't have to work right away. You will be crying a lot and this will be okay. Cry. Scream. Cry some more. 

Remember, you are only human. Life continues. Your heartache will leave you day by day. You will miss mom, and you will move on. You will even adopt two adorable kittens and they will bring so much joy into your life you didn't know was possible during such a hard time. Just sit down, think, and remember all the good times. Remember the trips you took with mom, the stories and inside jokes you had, the laughing-till-you-cry-and-almost-pee-yourself laughter, the food you both loved, the inspirations, the conversations...hold on to those memories. Hold on to them.

I know this wasn't easy to learn. I know it wasn't fair to tell you this. However, remember, life is like that. It can be unfair. Yet, try to learn more, explore more and live more. Go out more. Eat out more. Don't give up. Smile even when you don't feel like it. Don't ever second guess your decisions, moves and choices. You will not be alone and it will all be okay.  Trust me!

If you are crying reading this...you are welcome. You need to let your emotions embrace you. Cry when you want to cry, scream when you want to scream...let them embrace you but not stop you. You are a beautiful girl, you will be a beautiful woman, full of strength, determination, power, and love.

Now go out, explore, smile, and most importantly, hug your mom and tell her you love her!!

xo
Your older {not so insecure} self

My Daily Routine

For weeks I thought it was time to share how my usually very boring day looks like. Most of us have a job or children or both. Some of us have neither and still manage to have a busy schedule ahead of them. For me it is a mixture of all three. And because I think it's important to note that everyone's life is different, I think it's equally important to see it in writing to make it believable, to make it real. 

 

I don't have a set routine. Most days are very similar yet can differ drastically depending on plans, events, and what not. You know, life happens. :) 

Here's what I was up to today:

• 4 am - wake up call by Lilee and Luna. Both decided it was time to snuggle with me. No idea why they choose to do this at that hour. It's a trend they have recently started. Working on getting this stopped or postponed to maybe 6?
• 5.20 am - my man came home from work. I woke up once more. Tried to go back to sleep for an extra ten minutes. Failed of course.
• 5.30 am - alarm went off. I hit the snooze button only to turn it off two minutes later.
• 5.30 am - 5.45am - shower, dress, and prep time
• 5.50 am - brew coffee and got my cereal bowl and fruit ready. Turned on the news.
• 6 am - feeding time. 
• 6.30 am - 6.45 am - left for school, although I think we left around 6.55 am. Oops.
• 7.30 - 8 am - arrived at school, found parking, and relaxed. It always depends on traffic when we arrive. Today it took us over an hour. 
•  until 8.30 am - relaxed in the car by checking emails, social media and the news once again.
• 8.30 am - 1.30pm - stayed on campus, read, took notes, waited, and talked.
• 1.30 pm - met up with my favorite person, drove home.
• 2.15 pm - got some gas, stopped by Sprouts, went home and made late lunch
• 3 pm - my man went to bed. Literally. I turned on the news, turned on my computer, worked.
• 5.15 pm - feeding time. The fur children were hungry.
• 5.30 pm - research, and small work stuff online until my man wakes up
• 6 pm - prepped dinner and play time with the fur babies
• 6.30 pm - clean, work, clean, work, clean again?!
  
  Planned ahead as of right now...
  
• 8 pm - Dinner time, finallllllly!
• 8.30 - 10.30pm - TV time with Christmas lights on
• Shortly after 10.30pm - bed time. Good night!
• No school tomorrow...just a wake up call at 4 am I am sure of it

This is more or less a typical day for me. I work from home (nothing major but at least it's something as for now) and it keeps me distracted. Also, yes my man has awkward work hours. They will be over by tomorrow!!! Having him come home so early in the morning and then having to go to school is draining. I am glad I drive him to university. No one wants a sleepy guy behind the wheel. I am exhausted. My daily routine is boring I know...but it could also be worse.

If you were wondering what's for dinner?

Tonight it's simple...white rice, mixed fall/winter veggies {hello brussels' sprouts and chestnuts}, and salmon with a curry crust. Cannot wait to eat it. Most of it is prepped already, all I have to do work on is the salmon which won't be too hard. This also reminds me to get back into my recipe posting. I have neglected it for many reasons, and now I am ready to get back into trying yummy recipes and sharing my favorites with you. Stay tuned. 

xoxo

My A to Z Travel

I believe it is time to stop my blog hiatus and return to normalcy. After all, I have always claimed that writing is a tool that heals, comforts, and lets us escape from whatever is happening in our lives. I took this hiatus to spend time with myself, away from pressure, from reading, from anything that would force me to sit in front of a computer...I slept a lot, I rested even more {and no that is not the same as sleeping}, and it occurred to me that doing this is part of my healing process but it's not enough. Plus, I need to get back into life, into shape, into my daily inspirations to look forward to doing something or living beautifully. So here I am. I saw this post the other day and thought that this was the perfect way for me to start getting happier, and write more uplifting posts. July has been an awesome month and I am improving daily; baby steps but I can feel it.

So, here we go!

A) Age you went on your first international trip:

I was barely two and we went to Trinidad and Tobago. We stayed for a few months. All I have left of this time are photos and the memory of dreams I had when I was around four. Crazy.

B) Best foreign beer you’ve had and where:

Define foreign? I grew up in Switzerland so anything outside that is foreign...then in the US, anything outside that is foreign to me as well. To be honest, I like beer but can live without. Also, due to my gluten allergy I am now drinking Sorghum Beer which is pretty okay and it's made in Colorado. Not at all foreign.

C) Cuisine (favorite): 

Turkish, Spanish, Italian, Mexican, and Japanese. Well, just food that makes me happy. As long as it's delicious and makes me stuffed I'm a very happy girl.

D) Destinations–favorite, least favorite, and why?:

Favorite: Istanbul, Berlin, and San Francisco {home, history, home and memories...and SF reminds me of Europe} - I am sure there are more favorite places but these came up first.

Least favorite: as much as I like Greece, I did not enjoy my trip there. It's very similar to Turkey so I had no issues, the views were awesome...the people were unfriendly though and it felt like they just wanted to throw stuff at us and not even "handle" us "tourists". Sad sad.

E) Event you’ve experienced abroad that made you say “wow”:

Waking up in Yosemite at 5.30 in the morning...that clear blue sky and crisp fresh air? Pure perfection on an upcoming hot summer's day {and yes, Yosemite is not technically abroad for most of you}, and just waking up and knowing that you'll experience something eventful that day...that is a wow moment all to itself.

F) Favorite mode of transportation:

Public transportation...mainly in Europe. I also enjoy the buses/Muni in San Francisco. Other than that I love being the passenger in a car gazing outside the window and taking it all in...lets me escape for a few minutes. Also, I like to look into cars and find the most obscure things people do in cars. 

G) Greatest feeling while traveling:

When I travel I love to see how other people live. I see the regular "boring" sights everyone wants or should see when traveling...but then I'd like to escape outside that bubble and get a feel of what life really is like in those countries or even cities. It makes me appreciate the things I have. We take way too much for granted and believe life is like that everywhere, but this is not true. So traveling and getting to know a place from another perspective...that's what is fascinating. That is what makes traveling perfect. Plus, getting off the plane...that's another great feeling I get when traveling. I made it!

H) Hottest place you’ve ever traveled to:

Spain and Portugal...the heat was unbearable. Turkey was hot too but holy cow, Portugal almost killed us.

I) Incredible service you’ve experienced and where?:

I have not yet fully experience incredible service...I have experienced great service but nothing outstanding that deserves mentioning.

J) Journey that took the longest:

Going back to and coming back from Europe always takes the longest. Non-stop flights are awesome, just those 12+ hours suck big time. Yet, in the end it's worth it.

K) Keepsake from your travels:

Magnets, handmade jewelry, scarves, and just one piece of clothing. Always!!!

L) Let-down sight, where and why?:

Hmmmm...nothing really yet. I always try to enjoy everything while at a place...no matter how long I stay. If I missed seeing something it saddens me for a little while but it's okay...the memories I have made are enough.

M) Moment where you fell in love with traveling:

I traveled a lot when I was a child and a teenager, thanks to having family all over the world, so I guess I was born into this. I had no choice but to fall in love with traveling. 

N) Nicest hotel you’ve stayed in:

The one in Bodrum, Turkey and one in Berlin. I consider nice as just simple, no problems occurred, and the staff was friendly enough to make me feel at home away from home.

O) Obsession–what are you obsessed with taking pictures of while traveling?:

The ocean or the sea, animals, landscape, countryside, food, sunsets, and old buildings.

P) Passport stamps-how many and from where?:

My passport has been renewed so many times, so my stamps are rare these days as they don't stamp it all the time. :(  Latest and most stamps are from Turkey and the US. Any other ones in my older ones were from England, Spain, Portugal, France, Italy, Germany, Austria, The Netherlands, Greece, and some other places I can't recall. Switzerland doesn't stamp my Swiss passport...haha. I wish. I often travel with my ID in Europe so no stamps, and in the US...I don't need a passport. :(

Q) Quirkiest attraction you’ve visited and where?:

Nothing really...

R) Really Frightening: where’s one place you’ve visited where you felt unsafe or uneasy?

Paris, after they had to close down a street and a whole area for security reason. They found suspicious boxes or so and had to get the bomb squat come out. It was close to where we lived. Not the most fun thing to experience.

S) Splurge-something you have no problem spending money on while traveling:

Food, and a souvenir clothing item. :D

T) Touristy thing you’ve done:

I always do all kinds of touristy things...but the best and most fun touristy thing is to play tourist in your own city. Love pretending to be a tourist in a place I can walk around blind-folded.

U) Unforgettable travel memory:

NYC with my mom, uncle, aunt, and cousin many many years ago. But for the last travel memory...my trip to Istanbul this month where I spent five wonderful days with family, honored mom, and tried to suck as much Istanbul in as even possible. I just love this city.

V) Visas-how many and for where?:

A student visa but that was it and has long expired. Nothing else so far.

W) Wine–best glass while traveling:

Portugal!! It worked perfectly with our food. YUM.

X) eXcellent view and from where?

Love to hike up a hill in Laguna Beach and just overlook the city and Pacific Ocean. It calms and refreshes me. The sunset in Istanbul, overlooking the European side, is one spectacular view too, and most tourists fail to see this because they never cross over to explore the Asian side of this gigantic city.

Y) Years spent traveling:

Since I was a young child.

Z) Zealous sports fans and where?:

Not really a sports fan...if I had to choose, maybe Monaco when the Grand Prix motor race takes place.

Have an amazing Monday, and an amazing week. I am packing up my last belongings and getting ready to reunite with my favorite person. We have been apart for way too long and we have lots to catch up on. I also know he will help me heal and find my way again. This is not what one has in mind during their first year of marriage but life is full of surprises and our first year has definitley hit some rough moments but we are strong and we can do this. I am so counting down the days. So ready to be back home again. So so ready!!!

Which are your A to Z of traveling? Would love to know!

What If...

A few days ago, Daman from Here I Scribble shared what she thought her life would look like had things been different. This got me thinking about my "what ifs". I try to stay away from looking back on life and wondering what life would be like if I had done something differently, if I had picked a different route. Yet, it still made me think, and today I am sharing it with you. 

What if I had not chosen the high school I went to?

I would have probably started working at 16/17, and probably ended up with the wrong crowd. I would have not had the travel opportunities and would be miserable with my life thinking I should have gone to the high school my mom suggested. Also, I would not have my best friend in my life.

What if I had not gone to San Francisco after high school?

I would not have traveled and experienced as much, probably would have never gone to the US in general, and would be very one-sided in my culinary and cultural adventures. Coming from an international family, I would have been the black sheep not allowing myself to grow.

What if I stayed at my old job and never went back to college?

I would probably still be working at the same job, being miserable. I might have changed the company but would be doing the same old, same old. It would be draining, and my social life {not to mention love life} would be non-existent. Yes, I would be close to my mom right now, have plenty of money and time to travel and buy what I wanted but it would not be fulfilling. 

What if my educational route in the US had worked out as planned?

I would be studying right now instead of writing this blog post. I would be happy knowing I'd be working on my dream. I would be reading, writing, over analyzing, and going slightly insane. I would be still in the Sacramento area {not Orange County} living with my favorite person, but things between the two of us would be different and we would hardly see each other.

What if I had different genes?

I would have had a different name, a different upbringing, and I would not have probably ended up where I am today. I would not be able to call three different countries my homes and my favorite places in the world. 

What If I had said no?

Things would have been ugly. I would be working somewhere in California. I also would be packing things up to move back to Europe, being more lonely and less loved feeling I just failed my entire life yet again. I would dread going back because nothing ever works out in my life.

There is a reason I avoid thinking about my "what ifs". We cannot go back and change our choices. Even if, we would still wonder and create a totally different list of "what ifs". We would always find a way to question and second guess our life. Yet, this very moment is our life. This is what we have or don't have. Our life is now, whether it is good or bad or a mixture of both. I am embracing my current life and trying to make the best of it; after all, we only have this one to cherish and love to the fullest. 

What are your what ifs?

If We Were Neighbors

Last month Krysten posted about what it would be like to have her as a neighbor. I had to borrow that idea because it's quite perfect for a fun post. Thanks Krysten!

If we were neighbors...

You'd know that we wake up every day at 5.45 unless it's an earlier shift, then it's 4.45. This will soon change though. For the better. Yes, I wake up with my favorite person and hardly go back to sleep.

 

You'd probably see me in my PJs or comfy wear a lot. When I am home I like to be comfortable, and you would usually see me barefoot, in sweats and a t-shirt; oh, and without any make-up on. 

You'd see me every morning walk into the kitchen making coffee for myself. With or without lights on. I need my morning coffee otherwise nothing works that day; or you'll meet upset and mad-looking Selma. No one wants that.

You'd wonder what we are doing with all those trash bags on our balcony. We recycle like crazy. Cans, glass and plastic bottles, any other bottles we can get money back from. We have gotten back a ton of money. My guy drinks a lot of crap. Besides the money-back recycling we also make sure we recycle the rest: cardboard boxes, cereal boxes, plastic whatever, and anything else we cannot get money back from but doesn't belong into regular trash bins.

You'll probably hear different languages spoken from time to time. No worries I don't talk to myself that often. And, I promise it may sound as if I am mad at someone but I am not. Ha! I will probably be on the phone talking to Switzerland, England, Turkey, or Illinois. Plus, my cousin and I always talk in three different languages...it's a mixture between English, Turkish, and some French or broken Spanish. We are unique like that.

You'll probably wonder about our antisocial behavior. I love people, and I miss having friends around. It is not easy to make new friends these days. So, I rely on my friends in SoCal and Europe and online, and so does my favorite person. You won't see friends coming over or quickly stopping by. Kind of sad. It just doesn't happen. It kills me but it's what is happening at the moment. Fingers crossed once we move this will change.  

You'll most likely see me working out at home. I do Pilates and Yoga in our living room. If you see me jump while trying to stretch I most likely saw a spider somewhere. 

Tell me, what would it be like if we were neighbors?

 

Stuff & Things

Today I need strength.
Today I wish just the best of the best for my mom and her important surgery.
Just writing this out, sharing it with all of you, makes me feel sad, weak, lonely but also and that is quite interesting, it makes me feel happy. 

Today I am finding hope in everything I do.
Today I need distractions.

Also, I am trying to cook up a new recipe and I hope it comes out right - wish me luck.

I am also obsessed with Hydro Boost by Neutrogena. Months ago this product line was sent to me for testing and reviewing purposes and I am loving it. However, the driest and most annoying spots on my face still do not get hydrated enough. I'm talking to you, nose. That is when I reach over to Honest and its healing balm. Cannot complain one bit. Hey, cold winter air {yes, even in California}, how about you go away?! Thank you.

My favorite person and I finally got to see The Fast and The Furious 7 yesterday. It was all we needed and expected. Closure is so important. So glad we went. We hadn't gone to the movies together since last year. We went with his brother when we visited him last month but just the two of us? It had been months.

Even though I have been stressed I have tried to destress with Pilates, and some Yoga stretches. I have this bump on my hand {it's all benign} and it prevents me from fully stretching my left hand out a bit {annoying, let me tell you} but besides that it is the best way for me to relax. Plus, a good song or two that allow me to sing along and pretend no one is listening...yes, best destress methods ever.

These are my random stuff and things for this week.
All I need is patience, positivity, and strength and everything will be fine.

Positivity, patience, and strength!!!

Positivity, patience, and strength!!

xoxo

Linking up with Hodgespodges

The Time I got An Award

Molly and Stacie recently nominated me with the Liebster Award! I have done these award questionnaires before {and have more than 200 followers} but thought it would be nice to do one again. Also, I still feel like I am in a blog slump so this gives me a chance to be kind of creative. Plus, supporting other bloggers and giving them a shout out is always a perfect way to start the day.

RULES

Mention/thank/tag the blogger who nominated you.
Explain the rules for the next lucky nominees.
Answer the questions given to you.
Nominate and link blogs with less than (200) followers.
Post 11 questions of your own.
Notify bloggers that they have been nominated.

So, here goes nothing...

QUESTIONS FOR ME

1. What is your favorite book?

Hard to name just one book. There are book out there that have influenced and inspired me when I needed to hear the right words, and up until today they are still inspiring me. One of them is Walden and Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau. When I had to read it I dreaded it but my professor explained it so well it all made sense and without her further help I realized how much that book meant and spoke to me and my current life. Crazy, huh?!

2. What made you start blogging?

Boredom. Literally. I also needed a hobby at that time and needed a way to express myself or just to create my own little world. I had no idea that blogging is so much more than just writing on a regular basis. Friendships got created, ideas were found, and a community was built.

3. What is your favorite lipstick?

I don't like lipstick. If I wear lipstick it's usually a light color, and nowadays only from MaryKay {thank you M. for being such a fabulous consultant!}. I am more a lip gloss girl.

4. What is your favorite thing to do on vacation?

Sleep in, explore food and drinks, and feed my brain. 

5. How do you like to spend your free time?

I like to spend it exploring the city and area. I also like to read, watch films, and spend time with my favorite person. :)

6. What are your blogging goals for this year?

I don't have blogging goals. If I do let me know. However, I like to just have fun and inspire, and entertain.

7. Who did you think was best dressed at the Oscars this year?

To be honest I didn't pay that much attention. I liked Jennifer Lopez and her dress, and that is really all I remember. Oops, I know. So bad of me. :(

8. Would you rather have a surprise party or casual dinner for your birthday?

Casual dinner. I don't like surprise parties. What if I don't feel well that day and then baaam, surprise!! No, thank you. Also, I'd rather look forward to something and see it happen than being thrown into a room with all kinds of people I didn't want to see that day {there are those moments when you just need to be by yourself or just spend time with very close friends}. So, casual dinner it is.

9. What’s the next vacation you have planned?

Visiting family and friends in Switzerland and possibly Turkey. YES.

10. What’s your favorite thing to cook?

Köfte {Turkish meatballs}. Also, my Mexican quinoa dish {so easy and delicious}. 

11. How many languages do you speak?

I speak three languages fluently: Swiss-German, German, and English. I speak kind of Turkish and French, and will understand Italian if I sit down and concentrate. The Japanese I once learned is sadly long gone but bits and pieces still linger in my passive brain. 

I NOMINATE

Whoever wants to do this.
YES, I will not personally nominate specific bloggers because I think we all deserve this, no matter the amount of followers. Yup, I am doing this this way. I have more than 200 so technically I should not have received this one but still love to get these. When I feel a writer's block appears or just feel like I am in a slump these are the posts I look for. :) Just saying.

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

1) What's a pet peeve of yours?
2) What are you most proud of?
3) What is your favorite film and why?
4) What is your earliest memory from your childhood?
5) What would you choose? A great book, or a great film? And why?
6) If you had a chance to repeat history, what would you change?
7) Favorite song and why?
8) Do you prefer real nails or fake nails, and why?!
9) What place/city/country would you like to retire in?
10) Are you a saver or a spender?
11) What are your hopes for 2015?

Four

Christina did this questionnaire thing over at Easily Entertained and tagged all her readers. Thought I could do this as well since I, also, feel like I'm in a bit of a creative slump. Plus, what's more fun to get to know your fellow bloggers, right?

4 NAMES THAT PEOPLE CALL ME
Selma
Babe
Cece
Pillow (only my cousins do)

4 JOBS I'VE HAD
(I have a short job history.)
Babysitter
International Student Greeter (unpaid but it was a job I took seriously)
Office Clerk
Front Desk Assistant Manager

4 MOVIES I'VE WATCHED MORE THAN ONCE
(I've seen at least a hundred movies more than once, but here are some favorites; I'm such a girl.)
Gone With The Wind
Because I said so
Sleepless in Seattle
Speed

4 BOOKS I’D RECOMMEND
On Photography by Susan Sontag
The Pledge by Friedrich Dürrenmatt
The Help by Kathryn Stockett
I have more books I'd recommend but you'd think I am crazy if I revealed them ;)  

4 PLACES I'VE LIVED
Luzern, Switzerland
Oakland, CA
Ventura, CA
Irvine, CA - apparently I have a thing for California?!

4 PLACES I'VE BEEN
Istanbul
New York City
Philadelphia
Paris

4 PLACES I’D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
Los Angeles/Orange County
Luzern, Switzerland
Istanbul, Turkey
On a beach, under an umbrella and a blended margarita {so had to copy this!}

4 THINGS I DON’T EAT
Chocolate
Liver
Seafood I have to "operate on" before eating...don't want to do this. {Do it for me and I'll eat it.}
Gluten {it makes me sick and is not a dietary preference}

4 OF MY FAVORITE FOODS
Salmon
Avocado
Fluffy rice
Cheese

4 TV SHOWS I LAST WATCHED
Revenge
Girlfriend's Guide to Divorce
Pretty Little Liars
Modern Family

4 THINGS I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS YEAR
Traveling overseas to see my mom and friends again
Moving to a better {and cheaper} place
Working and earning for the future
Simplifying life

4 THINGS I’M ALWAYS SAYING
I'm so cold
Oh boy
Maybe
Okay

And now I'm tagging all of you! Let me know if you play along so I can come by and read your answers!

image via here

Hello from Moi

This will sound weird to most but if you know me personally you know I have an eye for detail and style. I have passion and even love fashion. However, I am not photogenic nor do I like to pose. I just don't like it. Maybe once I find a nice way to stand, pose or look I might, so far I have not found one. My man should try helping me out with this. We should both practice shooting and posing until we get the hang of it. It always takes time. We shall see. Nonetheless, I found a few photos of myself and thought to share them with you. Why? Well, just so you see me, and know that it is really me writing this and that I am still around...and not just constantly sitting in my pajamas on the couch writing posts. 

See? I don't know how to pose. I even have to get help from Olaf. We went to a Halloween Store after our monthly massage and that is when I found Olaf. Could not resist but take his head and pose with him. After all, he is my favorite. Plus do you see my devilish smile? Yes, I was starting to feel creepy in that store...bahahahahaha! And yes, I was holding on to the No Parking Pole in Sacramento. Someone had to give that pole some love, you know.

This weekend I am looking forward to spending time with friends I haven't seen in almost two months. I miss having friends around. It can feel really lonely when the only people you know are your mailman {at least he says hello when he sees me}, your man, and the big, fat squirrel named George. So knowing I will see friends this weekend makes me incredibly happy and excited. 

Here's to a fantastic weekend!!!

xoxo

I got Nominated!

It has been a while that I got nominated. This week I received the Liebster Award from the lovely Monic over at Simply Sutter! Thank you, girl. I'm so stoked. A while back I stopped participating in award giving and what not, but this year I feel it is time to change this. So, I'm more than just happy to share this award with all of my readers by answering the following questions, revealing a few random facts about me, and then nominating fellow bloggers to do the same.

Here goes nothing. :)

11 Facts About Myself

 

1) I used to row. Yes. Little me, did. :)
2) I am gluten intolerant; luckily not celiac (yet!).

3) I'm short, 5'2'', and I love it.

4) I cannot stand rap music.

5) I am an only child.

6) I grew up in Switzerland.

7) My arms are slightly double jointed.

8) I used to stutter - still do but not as much anymore.

9) My favorite person is much younger than I am.

10) I hate chocolate and peanut butter. Yuck.

11) I have no tattoos.

 

 

Questions I was Asked

1. What did you want to be when you were little?

A teacher and then a lawyer. 

 

2. Do you have any hidden talents?

My friend said I am an electric dictionary...switching between 3 to 4 languages at times.
I guess this counts as a hidden talent.

 

3. Could you go without technology?

 I could go without my smart phone but not without a mobile phone. ;)

Both TV and Internet gone? 

Can't do that. I need my morning news station and the Internet for school and work.

So, this means NO!

4. Cake or Ice Cream?

Hands down cake.
However, being gluten intolerant now...it's hard to find a great gf cake. :(

 

5. Hardest thing about blogging?

To keep up reading other blogs and engaging with others.
Blogging is fun but oh so time-consuming.

 

6. Best piece of advice?

Be Yourself and NEVER ever change for anyone but only you.

 

7. Are you a cat or dog person?

Dog person.

 

8. Best gift you have ever been given?

A trip to New York City to my 18th Birthday. 

 

9. Are you reading anything currently?

My math book (yuck), and several books (go check them out on Goodreads). 

 

10. What type of music do yo listen to?

 Almost anything...from classic, country, to current stuff. 

I'm a total alternative music girl with a hint of super oldies...1920-1968. Yay!

 

11. If you were granted one wish what would it be?

Getting the opportunity to work in my field right this second and not having

 to worry about anything anymore thanks to that.

My Questions

1. Why did you start blogging?

2. What is your favorite quote and why?

3. What makes you laugh out loud?

4. What is your absolute favorite TV show you cannot miss at all?

5. What pet peeve do you have?

6. What is the LAST concert you went to?

7. Do you get nervous before doctors' appointments? Why/Why not?

8. What three things did you buy yesterday?

9. Do you love where you live?

10. What is your guilty pleasure?

11. What is the ONE thing you look forward to this year, and why?

 

 

 5 I Nominate ..

 

  Leia @ Latitude Adjustment

Sam @ The Married Couple

Jennifer @ Crazy Shenanigans 

Erin @ Live & Love L.A.

Carol @ Everyday Delights

 

 Thank you Monic for giving me this award. :)

Have a happy Friday!!!

xoxo

6 things about me!

Last year (gulp!) the wonderful Leia tagged me in a little questionnaire and here I am answering these finally. I just never had time. I was stressing out studying, reading, writing and living life. Now I have time and felt it was perfect timing to share this little tag-game with you all. Don't forget to stop by Leia's and say hi, so you can read about her travels, her life as a somewhat newlywed (haha!) and her new life back in the US...California misses you girl!! :)   

So, here it goes...

What is your favorite animal and why?

I don't know. I like hippos. I'm weird. But look at it! It's so ugly it's super cute...and I like cute!! In all seriousness, I don't know why I like hippos. It's not because of their big butts or their belly. They don't do anything to me...I can't even pet them (well...maybe I can, who knows). I just think because they are different they deserve some lovely respect...so hippo it is. AND, I have a two stuffed hippos at home...my friends know me too well. :)

Would you prefer a city break or a sun, sea, and sand vacation?

It all depends on how I feel. Right now, I'd be very much into just leaving town and sipping wine somewhere remote so I could relax, refill my energy tank, and just have a good time with wine. ;) Quite ironically I did that in November when I originally wrote this post right before I went to Sonoma. Now? I still want to leave and relax somewhere...it does not have to be far. Just somewhere around the corner will be just fine. Who knows I might just hop into a car and find some fun place to go to.

But, in all honesty and you know it too...I am a big city girl. I want to explore, find new restaurants, explore museums and insider tips and new things. I want to have the option of walking around the corner and finding something new...and that of course is a big city to me. So when it comes to a vacation away from home...I'd go with a completely new place I have not discovered yet. It can be a city, it can be a wine country, or just a tiny island somewhere warm. As long as I am happy and can relax...I am okay.

What did you want to be when you grew up and what do you do now?

I always wanted to become a teacher. I loved my first and second grade teacher and fell, so to speak, in love with that profession. Obviously I changed my mind because as a seven-year-old I did not know any better. No offense my lovely teacher bloggers - I still admire your work and dedication. When I got older I wanted to go to Law School. ME!! No. Didn't happen. Instead I went into management and school counseling. I worked as an underpaid front desk assistant manager and later on manager as well as a trainee supervisor. I loved it but had enough and went back to school. So, what am I today? A student who is soon about to graduate and get back into the management and counseling business...wish me luck.

What is the best advice someone has ever given you?

Be yourself!
It's a very simple but important advice. It took me years to accept it or learn how to use it correctly. I was given this advice years ago and kind of thought "ok, well, nothing new - I know that much". I certainly knew that I needed to be myself and not change for anyone. However, this is easier said and in this case written than actually done. For years I have tried to please family and friends. I have tried to follow rules, to allow myself to live to my mom's standard or expectations. I have. Then I discovered that even though I felt content with my life I was not fully happy. I was making others happy whereas I suffered. So, I changed. I tried to slowly live MY LIFE and BE MYSELF. And that completely. So, whatever I do now is evaluated first but not because I wonder what my family and friends think about it...I evaluate it and see if I can afford it or/and will enjoy it. If I want to go see a concert, or travel to San Francisco or New York, or buy or try something new then I will do so. I am being myself - the best way that I can!

What is a pet peeve of yours?

People who wear sock and sandals. One of my biggest ones. I can't help it. I don't care if it's cold, and I don't care if you're too lazy to change shoes or what not. If you intend to walk around for a longer period of time in sandals and wear white socks or any other socks with those sandals...it just irks the freaking crap out of me. 

What is the LAST concert you went to?

It was a fabulous concert! Enough said. Cannot wait for a second round...but until then...the next concert I am going to just killed my bank account. So...I might have to wait a little until I see these guys again.

*****

I am supposed to be tagging fellow bloggers but decided not to because I believe that everyone who wants to participate in this lovely tag-exercise should be able to. I simply cannot choose people...I want to tag you all. Haha!

So, here are the questions (choose 6):

What is your favorite animal and why?
Would you prefer a city break or a sun, sea, and sand vacation?
If you could travel to one place in the world, where would it be?
How many countries have you traveled to?  How many of the 50 states?
What is your favorite thing about yourself (or quality you like in others if you don't wanna talk about yourself)?
What is the best advice someone has ever given you?
What did you want to be when you grew up and what do you do now?
What is a pet peeve of yours?
What is the LAST concert you went to?
What is something not a lot of people would know about you?


Have a terrific weekend!!!!!

My Current Reading List

2014 inspired me to read more. The fact that I will not have any reading classes had a lot to do with it too. So, after I rented my expensive and still cheaper math (ugh) book I had some money left on amazon and well, decided to buy a few books that were on my goodreads to-read list. Here's what I'm reading now:

Thanks to Krysten I know about this. :) Thank you. And if you didn't know, her blog is named the same way.

I am beyond excited. There are so many books out there that I want to read this year it was very difficult to decide which one to start with. Lets just hope I chose the right ones this year.  Wish me luck.
Any suggestions you have for me?
Any books you want me to read?
I love to add some to my list...a girl can never read enough.

xoxo

50 Things About Me

Hi my lovely friends!  I'm traveling and re-adjusting again. It's been a wonderful summer. It was a wet, rainy, cold and then very hot, sunny, cultural, historical, political, tragic, funny, fruitful, baby-filled, laughter-filled, explosive, exhausting and European summer. My heart aches every time I leave home for another, and once I land in one place I immediately forget the other place and vice versa. Needless to say, I'm a crazy little mess right now. I'm jet lagged, unpacking, sleeping, and dreaming. If I am not around blogging which might actually happening with my readjustment, Twitter and Instagram definitely keep you posted on my whereabouts.

But back to my regularly scheduled programming.  I found this survey on a few blogs and decided to play along today.  Be prepared - this is a LONG list of super random questions. It may provide you with a little more insight as to who I am.  

I've tried everything but I have no idea why the font, spacing, and sizes and whatnot are all off. I'm lost. Sorry.

1. Do you like blue cheese? No. I've tried it many many times, but this is one cheese I cannot stand.

2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Unfortunately, yes.  My mom smokes (yes, I know!) so as a young teenager I wanted to be as cool as an adult and tried it. Not proud of it. I also only did it once and never again.

3. Do you own a gun? Absolutely not.  I've never fired a gun, and I don't intend to. I've been exposed to guns (work related among others) and that's that.

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? I went twice. It was okay. Don't even remember if I drank something. If I did I ordered a strawberry shake.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? For normal check-ups, yes. Absolutely. Not sure why though. It's always an annual check so I should know what awaits me each year.

6. Do you like hot-dogs? Yes I do, with mustard only. Now I just can't have the bun anymore, and a gluten free hot dog bun is just not the same. 

7. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee with milk. And if no coffee, then cold milk.

8. Can you do push-ups? Yes. 

9. What’s your favorite meal? I have many favorite meals. Real authentic cheese fondue is one of them (not the stuff you get at the Melting Pot - sorry, but yikes!), Sashimi and Sushi, and pretty much everything Turkish. :) YUM.

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My rings mom and grandma gave me. When jewelry stays in the family it's awesome. I would have never bought those rings myself but they are so gorgeous I can't stop wearing them. 

11. Favorite hobby? Watching tv/movies, zumba, reading, photography, and blogging.

12. Do you work with people who idolize you? What kind of question is this???  I think it's safe to say that the answer is NO.

13. Name a trait that you hate about yourself? I talk too much. Haha!

14. Middle name? Pamela

15. Name 3 thoughts at this moment: 1.) Will I survive this fall semester?, 2.) I'm so bumped about something that didn't turn out as planned which I cancelled, and 3.) Hopefully I won't fall asleep by 5pm today. I MUST stay up longer. I MUST stay up longer.

16. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: a bottle of water for $6 at the airport. That's it. Nothing else. 

17. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink: Water, coffee, and wine. Pretty much yes, all of these.

18. Current worry right now? Money!

19. Current hate right now? Hate is not the right word, but I really dislike dust and silverfish - they are disgusting.

20. Favorite place to be? Istanbul, Luzern, and wherever I am happiest like this place called Southern California. I'm spoiled.

21. How did you bring in New Years? Shouldn't it say "ring in New Years"?  In Switzerland with four of my best friends and their children.

22. Favorite place to go? I so wanna go to Chicago and New Orleans and North Carolina.

23. What is your most recurring dream? I don't really have a recurring dream. Yet.

24. Introvert or extrovert? If I'm with a bunch of new people I'm a total introvert and if no one approaches me or says something to be I stay a loner. So typical. Once I'm okay with whoever I'm surrounded with I don't tiptoe around anymore - then the extrovert person comes out for sure.

25. What color shirt are you wearing?Colorful tunic dress...so no shirt. ;)

26. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Yes, did that once. Loved it. But well, cotton is okay too. ;)

27. Can you whistle? Yes. However, there are times I just really badly fail at this.

29. Favorite color? Purple, turquoise, gray, black and sometimes pink.

30. Would you be a pirate? No. 

31. What songs do you sing in the shower? I sing along to the radio station if it's on, or to my play list I feel appropriate to listen to in the morning when I shower. But my singing these days is more of a humming not a singing out loud and forming words.

32. Favorite girl’s name? There's a few, mostly English. Won't name them here. 

33. Favorite boy’s name? Again, won't name them.

34. Who is your loudest friend? Amanda, then Melanie. I think. ;)

35. What’s in your pocket right now?  No pockets I'm wearing a tunic dress. 

36. Last thing that made you laugh? The dogs getting excited to see me again. So cute and so adorable. Them jumping and licking and smiling made me laugh.

37. Bed sheets as a child? With animals on top, or clouds, or hearts. I had plenty.

38. Worst injury you've ever had? My ligament snapped and tore off and then tore my right ankle in three pieces. I also broke a left toe and it's now crooked thanks to my doctor thinking it was just sprained. Beyond that, I have to say that I've been pretty lucky.

39. Do you love where you live? I love California, and I love Orange County. Enough said. Plus, even though it's not in the city (aka L.A.) it's close and as a big city lover that's what I like.

40. How many TVs are in your house? 1.

41. What is your worst habit? Not sure if I have one. My talking too much maybe?!

42. How many dogs do you have? Two - however, they are my roommates'  but aunty Selma loves them regardless and calls them hers at times. ;)

43. Does someone have a crush on you? Not that I know. My friend's son once said he liked me a lot more than the girl next doors....the cutest. Maybe he does?

44. Do you own slippers? Own, yes. Wear, no.

45. What is your favorite book? I have plenty to name. One that just comes up is Extremely Loud & Incredible Close

46. What is your favorite candy? Sour Apple Rings

47. What is your favorite sports team? In Soccer it's Real Madrid (yes, weird for a non-Spanish person but it's what it is). Other than that I don't have a favorite as in ''I need to cheer incredibly and unstoppably for one team" kind of favorite. I like my local baseball teams (yes plural), and the local basketball teams (again plural). And by local I mean the Los Angeles Area...you do the rest - if one sucks I have another one to go with. ;)

48. What song do you want played at your funeral? Ugh. This is so morbid.

49. What were you doing at 12 AM last night? I was sleeping.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? Jet lag, you suck. It was 4am.