What Can I Do With My Happiness?

“What can I do with my happiness? How can I keep it, conceal it, bury it where I may never lose it? I want to kneel as it falls over me like rain, gather it up with lace and silk, and press it over myself again.” 

by Anaïs Nin, Henry & June 

With everything I have gone through in the past eight months I wanted to know one thing, and one thing only. What can I do with my happiness when I cannot share it with the one person I lost. What can I do with my happiness even when I share it with everyone around me. It is one of those questions you cannot fully find a right answer to. Even if you think you found it, there will be another answer waiting in line. My happiness has been increasing. I have found joy again. I have learned to let the past be the past. I have accepted what fate wanted me to experience. Happiness is what I strive for the most. Happiness is what I want to experience, every day, every hour. This year will be filled with happy moments. Even when I feel sad, shocked, perplexed, and not ready to see the positive side of something, anything, I will force myself to be happy even if it is happiness found in a word, a color, or another person's smile or gesture.

So, what can I do with my happiness?
I will keep it, conceal it, bury it, and live it. I will share it with whoever I want to share it with. I will cherish it. I will find it. AND, if I want to share it with the one person I lost last year I will. She will feel it. She will see it. She will know it. Most importantly though, I will feel my happiness and I will welcome and embrace it.

What are you doing with your happiness?!