August 24, 2009

Hello Again

Today, school started again. Not for me, but for all the kids in town. Streets and the old town feel less crowded again. Nice!!!!

Apart from that, I discovered that I'm just not intelligent. You might want to slap me right now and so be it my readers, but I feel I'm just stupid. Ok, that word is harsh. Not intelligent enough sounds better. Yes, I know. How can I say this to myself? I wonder, too. I'm embarrassed. Ashamed, too. I know what's you?! Yes, yes, the so-called summer misery of mine came back. Actually it never really left but waited for the right moment to appear again and voila, here it is. It's a sad feeling knowing that this misery is back and that it makes me feel they way it does. I know I'm not stupid, and that I am a bright young person full of life and her future waiting to be finally discovered and filled with experiences. I know all that. It just seems as if I have this enormously heavy stone on my feet and on my hands and even on my brain (yes, yes) that doesn't allow me to go online and do something else (more important) than just blogging, polyvoring, facebooking, yahooing, etc etc etc. I just had a whole week off. I did a lot but still it feels as if I failed that week. I wanted to look for an appropriate school for my tiny self, so I can finally go back and study again (which I loved, and yes, which I sometimes miss...but only really sometimes). Plus, if I don't do it now I won't ever. And that, my lovelies, I will regret for the rest of my life. There is already so much that I regret and can't change anymore I don't want this to be another of those "bad choices". Either way, if the studying doesn't change anything or doesn't give me opportunities I've been missing for so long then I can always return home, can't I?! Yes!
So, knowing that something is holding me back for unknown reasons is pissing me off. My life is boring enough at this very moment and I find no inspiration lately. I have to look for it in things that are cute and also inspirational but not truly inspiration for myself. Do you know what I mean?! If not, don't worry. Either way, life has to continue, I have to work on that and I will. The school is going to be found - soon. Just has to! Cross your fingers for me...luck is needed! ;)

In order to get rid of this bad feeling I ended up on polyvore again. Yes, I know...bad...with that I won't find a school. Here's what I found. My inspiration for today...sort of.

Have a fabulous day!


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