Now or Never

Walking around today and watching people while sipping my coffee I decided that I need to take some action in the next couple of weeks, well months. 2009 is supposed to be a good year. It just has to be. Every year should be something special. Every day should be something to be grateful for and every second we should live life to the fullest. Sentences we all have heard, said, and even read and written many many times but most of us are either way to busy to actually be part of that sentence or just ignore it, and others do really what the sentence means. At this moment of time I don't do what it says. Truth be told, this has been going on for a while now. Partly it's the summer misery holding me back, partly it's just me holding myself back and trying to do something else whereas "the something else" turns out to be nothing at all. Does this make any sense?! If not, don't worry. Just figured it doesn't really make sense, though this is what it actually just is...my life is so dull and boring I need to take action and change it otherwise it continues to be nothing...or mainly a totally confusing part of my current situation. So, here are a couple of things *in no particular order* I want to have accomplished by December 31, 2009!!! I hope I get to that point where I can proudly announce my accomplishments and can actually, really, truly be proud of myself.

♥ clean out my room, closet, and other storage of clothes, shoes, etc I haven't worn in years
♥ hang out with friends more often, even when I feel incredibly insecure, bored and tired
♥ buy a replacement for Olympia (my current digital camera)
♥ apply for school (I know!)
♥ visit friends&family in Europe (considering I'm already here I should be able to do so)
♥ buy Christmas gifts NOW and not in late October
♥ learn four more dishes so I can be proud of my new cooking skills
♥ move on, and away from a certain guy
♥ dare to be who I am (not trying to please everyone so they're happy about the me they want to see)
♥ go on spontaneous trips (hopefully with friends!!!!), because life is way too short
♥ visit two particular graves and put the past behind me
♥ stroll through San Francisco again
♥ read at least six more books
♥ send three gifts to three different friends as a reminder that I'm still here (they all live far, far away, and I know I should visit them at some point but the door swings both ways...)
♥ lose some weight, even though I know I don't really have to but a tiny bit won't hurt...the summer misery's "scars" are showing now :(
♥ open my heart and soul again so I can listen to myself (sounds weird, but is true)

...and well, there are so many more things I would love to have accomplished by the end of this year. However, I am not even sure if I can go through with the above mentioned points. Let alone the ones I haven't even mentioned. Though, trying to be more positive about things I'm sure that five points will be achieved in the next few weeks. I already went camera "shopping". Found one, but am not 100% sure if it's good enough. I don't need anything fancy or professional. But, no cheap crap either! I'm so picky when it comes to these kind of things...hmmm...anyway. I'll keep you posted. With that said...it's time to go cook some dinner...and then since it's Wednesday...watch my boys (and girls) catch the bad guys! TV is fun, not always, but once a week it's total fun!