Changes (Thanks 3 Doors Down)

Today I started catching up on my blog-reading.
It's funny how something like this can become part of your life. Maybe not a crucial one but one that makes you start your computer and read daily stories and find inspiration. It's become routine to me. While I was away for a while I missed it. Not that I was bored. No! Though, the routine was broken and that somehow hurt. I'm glad to be back. Reading and writing has always inspired me. Doing what I love doing at this very moment makes today a good day.

Blogs I read today or caught up with (and I'm sure you are familiar with some of them):

Oh, Mishka

The English Muse , as always one of my top favorites even while she's gone

A CUP OF JO

La Mia Vita

Girl With The Golden Touch

Pink Sass

Must Find Toes.

And yes, it seems as if my summer misery is still around.
I've had a blast in Spain, and a wonderful day yesterday shopping. I did get a couple of things (as if I wasn't shopping in Spain - my friend wondered why I even agreed on this shopping trip!), ate delicious lunch, had interesting girl talks, enjoyed the sun, and decided to start a new chapter in my life as of today. Baby steps but better tiny steps than no steps at all.

So, today, I started saving money again.
How?!

- First of all, I put away my credit and debit cards. I only use cash.
- My bills are paid, at least for right now so no worries there for the moment.
- I try to limit my movie sessions...not once a week, maybe only every other week. I'll save up to 15 to 20 bucks each time I don't go. It's a start.
- Shopping is done. No more spending money on something I don't need because I already have it hanging in my closet. The only thing I will and sort of must buy is a new dress for my friend's wedding. If everything fails I still have a dress available, and matching shoes. However, I would love to have a new dress, one that represents me today and doesn't show the me of 2004! Yes, that is how old that dress is (still in perfect shape and color though).
- I have a weekly budget of $50. If I don't spend that much I feel happier and luckier.
I think with this tiny plan I can and will save up money. And, have I ever mentioned I'm not driving and not owning a car?! YES, big plus on that one.

But not only did I start saving money today (main reason though I started it is that I spent too much while away last week and a lot yesterday. Enough!!!! I'm gonna use what I have and be creative.) I also continued reading the book I started before I left last week. It's truly inspiring. At least to me. It makes me wanna do everything the author did while trying to find herself. I for once have lost myself. Some of you are in the right spot, area, life, job, school, place...you name it. Some of you have what I call happiness. Happiness alone doesn't mean you are constantly happy and satisfied with what you've got. You are allowed to experience days that are off and grey. If you always feel that way and only see a wall around you but no door that slightly and slowly opens and that for years and not just a few weeks or months...then you are where I am. It's not always easy to understand, and I don't judge those that don't understand. I don't judge those that don't want to understand either. They found themselves. Where they are there is happiness (and again, that doesn't mean you are 100% happy). I found myself years ago. I was me. I was able to do and say things and it didn't matter what I said or did and I wasn't scared of saying or doing any of it. I was able to fully be me. I lost that part of me. Years ago. It's hard to understand but it's true. Finding yourself is a procedure, it's part of life. You can find yourself in your hometown, in another town, in another job, in another book, even just around the corner. For some it is easier for others it is not. I lost myself and therefore I decided to go find myself again. Wherever that may lead me. I'm not saying that I will be happy but all I'm saying is that I need to find myself again. The stronger people around me force me not to look for my inner self, the stronger and faster I'm gonna do this. Let me follow that path....
For more drama reading on my summer misery click here and maybe here.

Today is the day I started doing what I've been putting aside for weeks, months and years.
AND, besides my saving money and reading inspirational books I also decided to fly to my friend's wedding (as quickly mentioned above). She's getting married in two months and I'm going. No one is coming with me which makes me sad. However, my lovely friend M. is getting married on a Wednesday and it's not exactly a day people get married. And therefore, people can't really easily take off either. However, this won't stop me. It's my friend. She needs me. I need her. It's part of our life. If I don't go I'll regret it for the rest of my life. I'm sure you'd agree with me on this. Though, I better stop writing about it...I better book a flight to Istanbul NOW!!

Have a splendid day!