July 12, 2009

Sunday, Monday...Tuesday?!

Good morning!

Sunday was a tough day. I felt as if nothing really wanted to be alright. I stayed home. I think it was the best thing I could do given how I felt. As if I was hit by whatever everything hurt. My toe (I hit it in late March right before I flew back to California, and it took forever to get it healed and back to its normal shape and color) hurt like crazy. I didn't hit it anywhere, nor was I was using it or doing something to it. I was standing folding laundry and there it was, an aching pain like as if someone used needles to remind me how painful it was back in March. I had to sit down. Couldn't move anymore and therefore, my huge pile of laundry is still waiting to be folded and put away. Besides my toe, my neck was the second bad thing trying to ruin my Sunday. I couldn't move my neck for a while. A wonderfully painful headache came crawling in around 1pm, and yes, my stomach told me it was upset. I did manage to do some laundry (at least that) and write a letter. Oh yes, I'm almost done reading a book, too. I also tried to take naps but failed. My suitcase for my upcoming trip is also ready to be filled (won't fill it up though; shopping is a must while in Spain) but the main thing I wanted to do on Sunday, namely relax, was practically impossible.
Is this a sign that I'm getting older?!
If so, can it please stop and just go back to earlier?!
If not, what the hell is this?!
Maybe it's my body telling me to slow down, keep it real and relax a lot. It's a sign telling me it's time to move and start new. Stress, emotional stress, triggers a lot and I believe it's literally eating me...or at least it just started to. I can't seem to get rid of it. I'm surrounded by it. I've tried several things to ease all that and to at least calm down a bit but it won't let me. Wherever I go and whatever I do around here reminds me of work and that means reliving whatever happened so far. I can't let go. I wanna let go, and I could but my mind still focuses on that job of mine and it wants me to know it.

It's Monday, and all I know is at 3pm I'm being picked up.
We're trying to go to the IMAX theater and watch a movie. After that, dinner someplace nice where we can catch up on whatever happened over the past few weeks, well even months. My very young friend is pure life inspiration to me. She's barely 18 and so mature for her age. She's also still naive which makes her so special. I love her for that. She's what she is and she's living life as if nothing really mattered. She's going to finish high school soon and then hopefully emerge into this world with open arms and an open mind. She looks up to me which scares me. I'm a mess at times. Sometimes I'm standing with both feet on the ground knowing what I want, sometimes I'm absolutely lost. I dream a lot and maybe it's just all that, the whole combination of it all, that fascinates her. Plus, she's got no older sister. Maybe I am hers. Maybe she's my younger sister. Who knows. At least, I'm going to have a wonderful afternoon and evening today!

Tuesday?! We'll see what's going to happen...all I know is that work starts at 6.30am...already dreading it. That's so not good. Shouldn't work be fun?! I mean at least something we don't dread every single day?! I believe it should. A sign...again! Or a statement...


Girl With The Golden Touch said...

Have a great day! Work at 6.30 ... noooo way :( xx

Selma said...

Yes, it's quite early and quite bad. ;) I survived though.


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