Oh boy, this already sounds like one of my "summer misery" entries, and it sorta goes into that direction. But I will try not to go there and spare you the ugly details. The only thing I have to say is that I'm very disappointed in life right now, in my work field, in the job I'm currently holding, in my spare time, in my past, in my behavior (yes!), and in pretty much everything else coming towards me hitting me right in my precious face. Don't feel bad for me. Ok, please do. Seriously, yesterday I finally learned how much I'm actually getting paid for all the effort I'm putting into work. It was a real shocker. My heart still aches. I definitely woke up right there and then. I got to work at 6.30 in the morning, saw an envelope with my name on it, opened it and saw those horrible numbers. All I could think of was
WHAT?! AM I NOT IMPORTANT? DO THEY HATE ME? IS MY WORK IRRELEVANT? WHY IS NO ONE APPRECIATING ME? I CAN'T LIVE WITH THIS! WHY AM I DOING THIS? WHY AM I HERE? CAN I GO HOME NOW?!
Let me quickly recap...I've worked there for some time, and my pay was never great. I was okay with that. In this business it's always less than what others get on a regular basis. It's what it is. You work hard and get nothing in return. Though over time I got raises and it felt good because my work was recognized and appreciated and all. My pay wasn't as good as my friends'. Today, they should be super dooper proud of their pay because mine just sucks!!!! And, can I talk to my boss about it?! NOPE. Why?! He's on vacation right now, somewhere warm and cozy. He just left. Like yesterday morning, right before I even got a chance to read those shocking numbers. So, what am I gonna do?!
I'm going to be a very good girl, working my poor ass off to help my co-workers (yes, I'm THAT nice). Ok, I won't be working hard. That's for sure. I will do whatever I have to do, be nice to everyone and everything, and just wait till my shift's over and my boss returns from his super vacay in southern America! Oh, have I mentioned he's gonna be back in one month?! YES, of course. What else!
I'm so very disappointed. I get about $700 (!!!!) less than what I got last year. AND, this has nothing to do with the financial crisis we all might be in or having to deal with or whatever. Nothing!!! That much I know. My head can't stop thinking. It constantly rotates and I wonder how my other (not so nice) co-worker used to work with such a pay for almost 18 years?! If that's what she also got. I sort of got her work time now, which means I should be getting what she'd received for years. If she got more, and I will eventually find out (somehow, I haven't figured out yet how but I sure as hell will at some point), I will be more furious. There's no way she received this little and survived, and never complained. Or she's that dumb. Not sure. There's already steam all around me, coming out of me, so I can't promise to be nice any longer! I will look like this little chick here...
But, good thing is, I'm having three days off and can relax.
I'm gonna use tons of time to sit back, read, work out, listen to awesome music, and take relaxing baths. They might calm me down. Might. Oh, and I'm going on a shopping trip, too. Today. Not that I'm gonna buy anything special or exciting...I don't like shops here. They depress me. They're boring, and so expensive. I need fun stores. Those that make you smile when you're leaving them.
I didn't mean to write this much but I needed to blow off some steam.
So sorry everyone.
I feel a tiny bit better but life still sucks!!!
I'm gonna go shopping now. And tomorrow, I'm gonna hit the movies.
Fun is needed!
xoxo
3 comments :
you just gotta love long weekends! :)
and you'll be feeling much better afterwards for sure :)
OMG! I can totally understand you! Hope you feel better soon!!!! XOXO
I'm right there with you on feeling under paid!
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