We Miss You

Over the weekend I was supposed to laugh, dance, smile, and enjoy a memorable couple of days to celebrate not only a new stage in my current life, but also the last couple of days before fall time really begins. It already has cooled down a little, and is now also darker sooner at night. I am officially excited about fall. However, my happy weekend came to a sudden halt when I heard that my beloved uncle in Switzerland had passed away over night. Monday was a day I recall as The Crying Day. Literally. Not my finest moment but hey, life happens and I have learned that keeping emotions in for too long is never a good thing. So, I cried. I mourned. Even today, just writing this and letting my thoughts flow as they come along makes my eyes feel weak and teary.

My uncle was the kindest, sweetest, and most quiet man I remember. His wit was beyond funny, and he knew how to work hard, enjoy life with the finest wines and foods, and be a happy husband, grandfather, uncle, brother and friend. He was so mellow, so down-to-earth, it was always a pleasure to be around him. When something was sad he would make sure to bring at least a smile back to our faces. He would always joke but in a decent way, just to lighten up the sad or boring moments. His jokes made me cry - that is how much I laughed. He was our calm soul in the family, a man I always looked up to, and admired for being strong and determined to never give up.

Unfortunately, his strength and determination deteriorated this year. Two years ago he was diagnosed with cancer. Well, a huge tumor grew next to his lung and even though it was reduced, removed and literally killed, it decided to come back and hunt this gorgeous man. If you didn't know it you would not have known that he was going through chemotherapy. His hair stayed black naturally, and hardly went gray. He didn't lose his humor, and he was still himself. Yet, the ugly tumor was stronger. He got weaker and my mom told me that he was deteriorating lately; keeping to himself, sleeping a lot, and staying in his room watching movies. 

Without much pain, and that I call fortunate, he finally fell asleep forever Monday early morning. Quietly, just how he lived life, he departed and left a big void in our lives. I am more than just heartbroken knowing I cannot be with my family. Whenever I think of him, I start crying. His jokes are needed now. I really need a good laugh. Hopefully he will send some funny stuff downward so I can smile and maybe cry because I have to laugh so incredibly hard. I am so over this sadness. 

We know you are looking out for us, and are watching us live our lives with your friends, siblings, my grandma, and my cousin. You won't judge us, or roll your eyes. You will enjoy what you see, and we look forward to see you and your humor in others. I know that much.

We will miss you R.