My Europe Trip {1}

In May I had to abruptly fly to Europe to spend incredible last hours with my mom and say my good-byes to her. I am still in awe at how everything turned out to be so negative, so unfair, so fast and so unexpected. However, it was the right thing to do, and today I know it was the right timing for me. If I had gone earlier to see her my hopes would have been up and I would have been more devastated. I still carry anger with me, and I am still upset at everything but I understand that this needed to happen whether or not I liked the outcome. 

So flying to Europe was not exactly a positive trip for me, BUT even on my saddest and darkest days I tried to find happiness and enjoy my months in Europe. Being back home was fantastic yet sad. I was able to see some friends and their beautiful children, see family, talk endless hours about life and love, eat my favorite dishes, see sights I hadn't seen in years, and I learned that no matter what happens in life, we gotta move forward and keep smiling. I wanted to do more but did not have the energy to do so. Exhaustion sucks. 

Finding happiness and beauty was one major thing that kept me going {and knowing I will be reunited with my favorite person again of course}. So with my old iPhone I captured what I could and today I am sharing it with you.

Switzerland - the Swiss weather blessed us most days...hot, blue skies, and some rain at times. Perfection.

Yes I saw that sheep. It was actually a cute one. I still kept my distance though. I took a lot of shots of the lake, panoramas of my hometown, and of simple, ordinary things most people take for granted and would not even ever consider taking a photo of. Imagine me taking photos of cobblestones, a bottle of soda, and street names. Weird, I know. I had a good time in Switzerland despite everything.

Today I am coming to terms with everything, and I know it is for the better that I am in California and not in Europe at the moment. Fingers crossed I get to recover smoothly and happily. Just blogging alone and knowing I am doing this somewhat on a regular basis again is a good sign I think. No?!

I have more photos to share with you but didn't want to share too much at once. :)

Hope your day is going great!!!

Happy Wednesday!

xoxo

P.s. Don't worry, I didn't eat any of that pastry. I was trying to but friends kept me away. Good friends, really good friends.

Your Journey Happens for a Reason

Happy Monday everyone!!

How was your weekend?
Mine? Well, as usual I tried to spend it as casually as possible. I stayed home most of the time, watched a ton of girlie movies, drank a lot of water and tea, ate bounty {chocolate covered coconut bars - and if you know me long enough you know I don't like chocolate but bounty? YES please}, and just enjoyed hanging out in my jammies. That is how I roll these days. Not too shabby.

Also, I had the privilege to enjoy a sunny Sunday afternoon...we drove around for over one hour in hopes to find a nice place to park and walk around and guess what? It wasn't possible. So we ended up going back to my friend's place and ate dessert in a restaurant nearby. It was a great afternoon, but one that exhausted us. My friend's newborn girl however was the champ...no crying, no complaining, just constant sleeping and funny facial expressions. Gotta love babies. 

And...I woke up to an email my FIL wrote to me. He has daughter hugs withdrawals and wishes I was there. Totally made my morning. I will fly home in three weeks folks. Three weeks...cannot wait. I have been away for too long...but what can I say?! Mom wanted me to stay a little longer and she got her wish...I just have to let go of her and our memories for right now, just as much as she let go of me years ago when I decided to move to the US. I have family there now, and I want to be happy there. I will always love my hometown and I will always return, even to visit mom and bring her her favorite flowers but I have to move on and live the life I was meant to live. So knowing my family awaits me and will be there to support me once arrived means the world to me. I am sad but I am hopeful because I have a great support system behind me, and those doggies?! Yes, those doggies will kiss me like they haven't kissed me before {sounds gross now, just re-reading it}. 

I am counting down the days I am going back home embracing my favorite person, hugging everyone, and moving forward. This journey happened for a reason and it is okay. It's part of my life and it will only make me stronger!!!!

Have a fabulous day. Send me some happy vibes though...I always need them.

xoxo

image via here

Five Steps to Help One Recover

Seven full weeks have past. Seven! I cannot believe it. Where did the time go? Really. I have been away from currently very hot Northern California for eight weeks; that is also terrible. But, it has been seven full weeks. What is worst about these seven weeks is that I have not been able to fully grief, to mourn, to let go of my feelings, the pain, the sorrow, the everything I feel that makes me miss my mom ever so dearly. I have let go of some. I had to. Though this is a process, and if you have lost anyone close in your life, anyone dear in your precious life, you know that this is a process that will take months, if not years. This is not something you just shake off as Taylor Swift would say. This is something you have to deal with, you have to face each day, each second even, just to get by.  This is a process no one wants to go through but at some point in life kind of has to.

There's people who can deal with this long period of grief in a very simply, easy way. They don't technically shake it off but they do recover quite easily, and do not seem to feel much sorrow or pain. They do, but their way to get over that huge hole of darkness is less complicated, less sad, less everything. Then, there's people who have to deal with this grief differently. There's a black hole that looks too big to jump over, but also looks like it is slowly closing up to make room for a new path in life. I believe I am somewhere in between these two people. My aunt for example seems to be okay with whatever happened. Granted, she is healing differently, she is dealing differently. She has lost her husband, my beloved uncle, many months ago and yet it is still fresh. She has lost her grandchild way too early as well. She seems to have it all figured out. I, on the other hand, know that I must deal with the sudden loss of my mom differently. I have not lost my love for life, but I have lost purpose at the moment. I freaked out. I got burned out. I had no time to grief. It has been seven weeks but holy mother of whatever, I cleaned everything out, I organized everything, and figured it all out and had literally no time to sit down and accept what really happened. It came to me last week. My chest still hurts. My left side still hurts. My doctor said I am stressed, exhausted, and just in pain because I have lost a parent; and in my case it is in a way two parents since mom was mother and father at the same time. I have learned to let go of my feelings. When my chest hurts I start to cry and poof...the pain is gone. Just like that. I take hot showers {no bathtub where I am currently staying} and poof the pain is gone. I cry a lot. I watch a lot of TV or movies {thank you Netflix for working in Europe}, and I just try to go out as often as possible...not to get stuck in a room or apartment for too long. This gets really depressing, really.

So, the best five things I learned over the past two weeks that help me recover from my loss are the following:

1) LOTS of rest and fluids {herbal teas, and water, and maybe some coke}

2) Lots of fresh air, even if it is just a walk around the corner and back into bed...fresh air is crucial.

3) Crying. It is okay to cry. It is normal. No one looks pretty when crying so no worries there. Crying helps ease the pain, and let go of trapped emotions - and I have many trapped emotions.

4) Talking about it. It is not easy to talk about it here in Switzerland so I am going to talk about my loss once I am back in California. My in-laws are helping me find a place to go to. I learned that it is best for me to talk about it to someone or a group of neutrals. Friends here are helpful, family too. But when you talk to someone who didn't know mom, is fully new to the story...that is sometimes even more helpful. I even talked to my doctor here. She may just be my regular doc but telling her already helped tremendously. Oh, and writing about it helps, too.

5) Look forward to the future. I mean, as much as it hurts to look back and see photos of mom or hear someone talk about her...and as much as I want her here with me, she won't be with me physically. She will be next to me in spirit I know that and I feel it but I have to let go of the what if's, and look ahead. The future is bright. The future is mine. I have a wedding to attend. I bought a brilliant dress, and I am ready to celebrate my cousin's big day!!!! I have a husband to return to, a new place to finally enjoy living in, and a future as bright as even possible.

These five things are so easy, so ordinary. It's usually the simply things that make the most sense. It's like when tiny, little things enrich our lives even more than the bigger, more expensive items do. Simplicity is key. And patience. 

As much as I want to sleep for the next three weeks I know I cannot. I will sleep in longer and go to bed earlier but I will not let mom take over my life and make it sad. I am a happy girl. I deserve happy moments. I deserve sunny days, and walks along the lake. I deserve a chest that will not hurt any more. I deserve cry-less days. I deserve happiness away from my hometown. I deserve to return to my favorite person and spend the rest of our lives together. I deserve a new bag once I return, I deserve doggie kisses, I deserve the smell of a new baby {my best friend just got her second this week}, I deserve pure, unaltered, ridiculous happiness...in any way possible. I want it all. I need it all.

So I am letting go of this heavy heavy burden and pain in my heart and chest. I am letting go of those what if's because they do not exist anymore. I am letting go of the thought mom would call. I am letting go of whatever there is I must let go of to fully be able to live my life the only way I know how and want to. I am letting go of her. I am letting go of negativity. 

I am embracing today...a day I am channeling an easier way to get over that black hole and making it close up faster. I know it won't happen in a day but there's hope. One step at a time. I know I can. Thanks to writing it out it already helps a bit...a bit is better than nothing at all. No?

YES. I am using those five steps to recover...slowly but eventually I will be there.

So excuse me, I am going for a walk right now...and I will listen to cheesy but fun music...distraction is also key, not just patience and simplicity.

xoxo

image via here and here and here

Good-Bye!

Today I am saying good-bye to my beloved mom. She will be greatly missed.

The void I, and so many others, have been feeling will linger for a little while longer. I know with today a huge chapter of this tremendously harsh shock will close its doors; not completely but slowly and carefully. With today, I can finally look forward and finally move on. With today I will be surrouned by people who have known and loved my mom, and who have also loved me. With today, I will be surrounded by family and close friends who will support me, love me, and be there for me no matter what. I will not be alone. I never ever will be.

Today will be intense, but today will be wonderful as well. I will not say good-bye by myself and that is all I wanted. I will be happy. I will be grateful. I will walk through this world with an open heart and an open soul. I will not despair or regret. I will love. I will live. I will nurture. I will remember. She will live on in all our hearts and souls. With everything I will do I will cherish and remember her.

Today, we may say good-bye to my life loving mom...but we will celebrate her life and not dwell in the past. We will hold our Raki glasses high up and salute to life, love, family, and very close friends who made their way to her memorial service!

I know mom would have loved it that way.

Yes, she would have.

image via pinterest

June Life

My lovelies,

it has been too long. It feels like forever and in a way it has been forever. I am doing well considering what I have been going through. It is funny to think of my current situation. I wanted to visit mom and make sure she is well taken care of, and then return to California after ten days. My ten days now have become probably six weeks, and I will stay even longer but there's light at the end of this long and dark tunnel. I can see it. I am managing, and I am handling it all well. Mom's apartment will be emptied June 30, most of her stuff is gone, given away, donated, or by next week will be tossed forever. I kept a lot, and sent a lot away. The post office definitely loves me. I should get a customer of the month trophy. Also, knowing friends and family took items to remember her by, and to enjoy a carpet or two or a TV or a huge wooden table or books...it means a lot.

Worst part of my entire month was to write her eulogy. I will not be speaking at her funeral. I have a speaker do that difficult task. Yet, I will have family come from Turkey and the US and they will not understand Swiss-German. So, I decided instead of having it all spoken in English all over again I will have it all written out on a paper for those who do not understand my first language. Mom thought, dreamed, and even spoke 99% Swiss-German, so why on earth would I have the service in regular German or any other language? Plus, who wants to lengthen a sad memorial service anyways...we know it hurts, we know it is sad, and we know it sucks...to have it repeated twice is redundant. 

Other than this lengthy process and quite frankly, discrimination against the ones who are left behind (there is so much paperwork to be dealt with it is insane and just morbid...come on, let me mourn, let me enjoy life and go on with it and not feel stuck in my hometown...I want to enjoy it, and I want to love it and look back to the summer I lost my mom, but the summer I also learned to live again without her), I am doing well. I have to remind myself that life goes on. It has to. Mom would have wanted it that way. I mean, let's be frank here, we all know the time will come when we have to say good-bye to our parents, our friends, our relatives...we just try to ignore this very open fact.

I am doing well. Yes, I have said this three time already...but I am. Okay, yes, I have my moments and I know those moments will repeat themselves...especially when I am back in California surrounded by my in-laws and hubby, all trying to help me out and stuff. I will be more than just grateful for their help (and they have been helpful ever since). Yet, I know, I will have good days, and I will have terrible days. 

The good days I know will be in July...early July I will be flying to Istanbul to see my entire relatives again. It will be a family reunion after many many years. It has been years that we were all together in one place...usually always one part was missing...either my uncle from the US with his clan, or my Turkish cousins were doing a year abroad or something. This time we all will be together. Just mom will be missing but I will honor her that whole time and make sure we will remember her. Also, the main reason I am going is my cousin's wedding. What better thing to do than celebrate life and love by attending your cousin's special day? We have always been close so it will be just an awesome celebration. Also, she is coming to mom's memorial service...if she can come for a few days to my place, then I can come for a few days to her place.

Also, I am trying to have most things settled and handled this month so I can fly back home to California in July. Please send me some happy, healthy, and speedy thoughts and vibes over. I need them more than ever. I am almost done here. I miss California. I miss my favorite person, and I miss my life there. Sounds weird but I chose to live there and be there so it is time to do this exact thing. I really do not want to stay here any longer than I have to. I am so exhausted and so ready to leave...so send me some good vibes please. Thank you!!!

One day I will catch up...promised!

xoxo

images via {I don't remember} and here

When Life Teaches You A Lesson

One week ago today my mom passed away. Suddenly, too soon, too fast, and so not expected. The initial shock, the madness, the crazy thoughts, the sadness, and the angry thoughts are gone. The shock is gone. Acceptance....well, what else can one do but to accept what happened. If I could I would turn back time. If I could I would do a lot of things differently. Yet, everything happens for a reason.

My mom wasn't sick, wasn't old, but had unfortunate circumstances happening to her that medically speaking it wasn't possible to heal a thing, or anything. I had to listen to doctors and surgeons telling me that medically speaking it is not possible; that they have tried everything they could have; that literal shit like this can happen and is happening now. Imagine me, fully jet lagged, exhausted already from stress, sitting in a sterile room at 9pm on a Tuesday night looking into a doctor's eyes and hearing the unspeakable...shock is all I felt, I still feel it sometimes. I am beyond happy I could see her, talk to her, assure her I am happy and yes, I AM HERE. I was hoping this would help in some way, hoping it would heal her and give her body strength but I was mistaken.

What I am left with is a mess of paperwork that needs to be handled, an apartment that needs to be emptied, and items of mine that need to be shipped abroad. It's a doable mess but it is overwhelming. I have no siblings and no close family that could help. I have a few friends and I know they will help, and I am not afraid to ask for help. I am going to give up part of my life here in Switzerland, part of me, but that part will live on and I will not forget where I am coming from, and who I am. I promised this to my mom, and I stand to my promise.

As I am mourning the loss of my best friend, of my mom, I hope I won't disappoint some of you by not posting as much. Life will resume, and it must but in due time. Blogging will not be a major part of my life this summer, or at least not until I am back home reunited with my favorite person. He sadly couldn't join me. I wish he was here. I really really wish. I need strength, and I need help but I know I am not alone in this. It's struggles that make us stronger, and this struggle is already making me stronger.

Hope you are having a great day.
Go out, hug someone, say hello, and thank you, and cherish the moments...any moment...even the ones that you want to throw away and yell at. Cherish those too. Trust me. 

Miss you all.

xoxo

image via here

We Miss You

Over the weekend I was supposed to laugh, dance, smile, and enjoy a memorable couple of days to celebrate not only a new stage in my current life, but also the last couple of days before fall time really begins. It already has cooled down a little, and is now also darker sooner at night. I am officially excited about fall. However, my happy weekend came to a sudden halt when I heard that my beloved uncle in Switzerland had passed away over night. Monday was a day I recall as The Crying Day. Literally. Not my finest moment but hey, life happens and I have learned that keeping emotions in for too long is never a good thing. So, I cried. I mourned. Even today, just writing this and letting my thoughts flow as they come along makes my eyes feel weak and teary.

My uncle was the kindest, sweetest, and most quiet man I remember. His wit was beyond funny, and he knew how to work hard, enjoy life with the finest wines and foods, and be a happy husband, grandfather, uncle, brother and friend. He was so mellow, so down-to-earth, it was always a pleasure to be around him. When something was sad he would make sure to bring at least a smile back to our faces. He would always joke but in a decent way, just to lighten up the sad or boring moments. His jokes made me cry - that is how much I laughed. He was our calm soul in the family, a man I always looked up to, and admired for being strong and determined to never give up.

Unfortunately, his strength and determination deteriorated this year. Two years ago he was diagnosed with cancer. Well, a huge tumor grew next to his lung and even though it was reduced, removed and literally killed, it decided to come back and hunt this gorgeous man. If you didn't know it you would not have known that he was going through chemotherapy. His hair stayed black naturally, and hardly went gray. He didn't lose his humor, and he was still himself. Yet, the ugly tumor was stronger. He got weaker and my mom told me that he was deteriorating lately; keeping to himself, sleeping a lot, and staying in his room watching movies. 

Without much pain, and that I call fortunate, he finally fell asleep forever Monday early morning. Quietly, just how he lived life, he departed and left a big void in our lives. I am more than just heartbroken knowing I cannot be with my family. Whenever I think of him, I start crying. His jokes are needed now. I really need a good laugh. Hopefully he will send some funny stuff downward so I can smile and maybe cry because I have to laugh so incredibly hard. I am so over this sadness. 

We know you are looking out for us, and are watching us live our lives with your friends, siblings, my grandma, and my cousin. You won't judge us, or roll your eyes. You will enjoy what you see, and we look forward to see you and your humor in others. I know that much.

We will miss you R.

Today, I miss Switzerland!

Happy August!!
It's Switzerland's birthday today.

I would normally spent time with friends and family, eating yummy food but not today.
However, it is Friday - so, I can easily create a little patio BBQ at home.
I can dress up in red and white {Switzerland's colors are red and white, and please don't mix them up with the colors of the RedCross} and still come up with some bubbly, salads, meat, and veggies. Our BBQs aren't much different than American BBQs. 

Hope you are having a fabulous day today!
I am posting this early...so I can go out and grocery shop, dress up and celebrate a little.
Plus, a few skype dates are in order as well.

Happy 1st of August!!!!

Satisfied

Gosh, I love and miss my hometown.
Luzern will always be in my heart.
I think I took this photo last summer after my friend A and I had a fabulous dinner along this river. :)
Cannot believe it's been almost a year that I was home. Plus, I won't be going home this summer - not even to my beloved Istanbul/Turkey. My heart aches I have to admit that. I can only imagine how my mom feels. Yet, life took a different turn and it's been great so far, so I'm just going with the flow. :) 

Anyways, a while back I came across an article stating the most sexually satisfied countries in the world. There's countries in there that you wouldn't even think of. The U.S. is not among them. This needs to change. Yet, this is not my place and time to change it for this country. Haha. YET, guess which country was number 1!!!????

Switzerland.

Hmmmm, I was a little confused for a second or two. Really? Switzerland? So stubborn, so not flexible and so small Switzerland? But yes it is true. I have to say I'm proud to be Swiss - haha, even with this new fact of being the number one sexually satisfied country in the world. Who would have thought?!

And why exactly Switzerland? Well, with progressive views on sex work, licensed brothels, a liberal stance on porn, sex ed beginning as early as Kindergarten (so true my readers, so true!), and — on top of all that — one of the lowest teen birth rates in the world, Switzerland is both hot and safe. There’s no better combination than that.

We do it the Swiss style apparently!! 

Japan I believe is still number one with the lowest teen birth rates, and the second and third countries that are also pretty satisfied are Spain and Italy.  YAY. 

****

If you were wondering were I got all my info from...then google it. :) It was in the news, on the unicef website, on blogs, on facebook, and I even recall newspaper articles...WOW. Too many to credit for.  Sorry.

Santa Claus Day

{via}

Yes, Santa and his helpers aren't that cute or adorable in central Europe. The helpers are rather scary. Gosh, I remember when I was younger I was just terrified of them. December 6 marks the official Santa Claus Day. 

If you now guessed (or perhaps know) Santa Claus does not bring presents on Christmas. Nope. It's baby Christ who does. Funny, huh?! But yes, that's that....I kind of miss this ridiculous scary December 6 tradition and the parades that follow. This is one of a few events in Switzerland I truly wish I could experience again. Wish I could beam myself over for a few hours - maybe one day this will be possible. Hahahahaha! I know, wishful thinking.

Ok, my lovely readers...two more full weeks of class including finals and on the 19th it will be officially over. I am already sick and tired of writing (not on the blog but it suffered too). I know I can do it. I just really want to pass my incredibly difficult writing class - I am already having nightmares...worse than when I was younger and knew those Santa helpers would scare me on the 6th.

xoxo

Switzerland Update

It's loooooooong overdue. Ridiculous of me to totally forget about it all. I'm appalled. Well, then again, I was busy traveling, re-adjusting, organizing, and realizing that I am indeed not in Europe anymore. So, here I am photo updating you on my lovely trip east so to speak. At this point right now, I don't know if I see my folks again next year. It all depends on my school (yes, almost done!), and opportunities in life. Life does happen wherever you are, so I take it day by day. So here's a little recap - in no particular order ;)

I spent most of my time eating foods I missed. However, I also had the hardest time readjusting my guts and telling my mind that whatever I miss eating I simply can't eat anymore. I substituted most of the time, and learned to love new foods, new ways to build food memories that remind me of home.

I wish I lived in this house. Not sure why they had a stage up front but really, all I care about is to live in that house. :) 

Anyone want some sweets?! Most of them are gluten free in case you were wondering.

Not much more happened when I went over there...I ate, I drank, I slept in, I survived another European heat wave, I also survived summer rain, and I survived not having GF food or menus available. It was a good trip. It was a long trip but it was worth seeing my mom again...and a few close friends and family. However, I'm glad to be back in California. It's home after all.

Happy September 1st everyone!!!! Cannot believe that a month ago I was still in Europe! WOW.

xoxo

A review - Hotel/Restaurant Hofgarten Luzern, Switzerland

Here's a secret: I love to eat. I also love breakfast. Since I went gluten free it is difficult to find a breakfast place in my lovely hometown of Luzern. It's always been a tradition of my friends and I to go out for brunch or just breakfast. However, I had become a sad camper about this tradition of ours since most places just offer regular bread and nothing else and nothing for my tiny problem. This changed when we rediscovered a place that made it all fun again. Hotel/Resturant Hofgarten.

Years ago we often ate here and then our paths parted for unknown reasons. A few years ago we decided to go back and try our brunch on Sundays again. Now, imagine you are two girls who are off during a regular week day and want to have brunch. Hofgarten is one of the very few places offering just that. Hofgarten also offers gluten free bread (whether or not the bakery next doors makes it, it was given to us at no addicitonal cost, thank you!). Yes, it is currently at CHF 30 per person which somewhat equals to $30 a person. Typical Swiss prices but it is an all-you-can-eat buffet with coffee, tea, chocolate, milk, juices, bread, cereal, cheese, cold cut meat, nuts, yogurt, fruit salad, and even scrambled eggs, omelette, sunny-side ups, bacon, ham and what not. Plus, it was a brunch/breakfast buffet during the week too. Remember that. Normally you can't get such a buffet unless it's a weekend. It was a win-win situation.

Guess who enjoyed a hot breakfast with gluten free bread, lots of coffee, cheese, nuts, yogurt and yummy jam today?! Me! I also went with my friend and her newborn. As always we enjoyed ourselves. 

If you live in Luzern or happen to travel through or to this lovely city and you look for a non-touristy place to eat (even for lunch or dinner it is amazing by the way), and you don't mind spending a little extra to get the service you deserve then I would recommend Hofgarten in Luzern. The staff is very nice and professional which I - with my hotel/restaurant background and experience - value and appreciate. In all the years I have gone to Hofgarten I never left disappointed.

I call this place the little hidden gem in this town. Sometimes people don't think of it right away and I just have to smile. It's exactly places like these that make me love the hospitality industry again. And when I find a place I really like I also try to sit down and share it with you all. 

Photo sources: Hotel/Restaurant Hofgarten

It's HOT!

Switzerland isn't really known to have sizzling hot summers. They are usually around 75 to maximum 80 degrees on a very hot summer day. This has changed over the past ten years. Blame global warming or whatever. It's happening. We all notice. It's happening all over the world. The changes here are as follows: 1) it's either very very rainy and cold, like what was happening since March until mid-June. 50 degrees and constant rain isn't fun. Or 2) it's so hot you just want to rip your skin off. The latter is happening right now. 

It's been so hot it's not even funny. California and other states, cities and what not may have had a heatwave too (and I'm just speaking US now) but heck, you guys have ACs most of the time (with a few exceptions I know). There's no AC here. There's no draft or wind or whatever here. At least not now and if there is we are usually not standing there because well, we don't know where that draft or wind actually occurs. If you were wondering if we had fans...yes we do. They usually just create more dust and muggy air.

So, without further ado...it's hot, and all I want to do is sit by my imaginary pool and relax. Or walk around in a fluffy dress.

Happy Friday my lovelies.
Hope you are having a cooler day and are enjoying ice cream or a cool drink. In a fluffy dress of course. :)

Positano by Jean Paul floral print dress / Jane Norman dress / Ancient greek sandals / Jigsaw jute tote /
Ray-Ban gold glasses / Columbia hat / Hawaiian Tropic sun care / Essie nail color /

Linking up with Long Distance Loving.

See ya...

Yes, Splendid, you are so right.
I love L.A. too.
And that is why I am ready to go back.
It's not going to be easy to say my see-you's but it's going to be okay. It always is.

I'm looking forward to seeing friends again.
I'm looking forward to not wearing my winter jacket, two pairs of socks, and gloves. No more!

I'm looking forward to wearing my Christmas gifts (sunglasses, and some awesome tops by, oh my, yes Splendid!)...and I'm just looking forward to engaging more in life.

For some of my favorite bloggers, 2013 is going to be their year. 

They will welcome new life into this world, and others will arrange to change certain things in their career or life in general. And one of my favorites stated she is going for the word MORE. I think I agree. More laughter, more trips, more coffee dates, more fun, more music, more silliness, more adventures, and more of whatever comes along is just one fantastic way to look forward to anything this year. 2013 will also be my year no matter what will come my way! {thanks Lacey}

Have an amazing weekend.
I know I am going to have a blast. And even if not, I will make it fun!!!

xoxo 

P.s. Europe, I'm missing you already!!!!

The Swiss Style

Since my lovely trip home is slowly but surely coming to an end I decided to share with you a few things I came across while strolling through known alleys, seeing familiar faces and places, hearing and reading the news, and discovering my hometown as if I had never been there before. In no particular order...

Switzerland is one intense and crazy place (no wonder I chose my blog title! - haha!)

New people arrived in my little country and it's gotten crowded.

People are not as friendly, and those that are are sadly not Swiss.

Prices went up, which is no shocker...sure, let's pay $61 for a baked potato, a glass wine and water. No prob.

The winter fog is dense and annoying.

The fog/air combo is horrible and many suffer - including me.

Pastries are awesome...just saying.

Coffee is awesome, too. Soooo good.
Beer...need I say more?!

The tourists can be annoying.
The pickpockets are even more annoying. Luckily nothing happened but it makes you paranoid.

Language difficulties in my own language? Holy cow. I was shocked.

Kids drink way too much alcohol.

People think too much about ridiculous topics such as what color a chair should or shouldn't be.

The NEWS is important...if you don't watch it you are out.

Stores close early (no shocker for me) but I had to get used to it again.

I was happy not having to tip anyone - you either deserve it or you don't. Yeah, I know, I can be mean. 

Everything is on time. Like really on time. 5.54 is 5.54 and not 5.55.

Dogs are everywhere - even in restaurants.

I missed my favorite cafes, and restaurants.

I missed my favorite shops.

Loved seeing my favorite shoes, and clothes in my closet (I know silly!).

Streets are dirtier.

People dress better.
People also dress worse.
And...People dress up, even just going to the grocery store.
People in Switzerland just dress different, period.

The local radio station still plays the same songs. Ugh.

Carnival season aka "Fasnacht" is one season I will be missing for sure. 

People already are in Carnival mood.

I was alone most of the time & I was okay with that.

I discovered nothing new, but enjoyed every single corner and dust ball I saw.

Driving is something people here need to learn again.

Walking is something people need to learn too.
Pedestrians are invisible.

Green Vodka - yes please!

My friends are the best.

My friends' kids are awesome...so much life ahead of them.

 My health insurance is kicking my butt. Negatively.

Wireless is not always available in the city.

Foggy sunsets are breathtaking.

Walking is the best method of transportation.

Swans are gracious.
Mom started watching The Bachelor (help me!!!).

Historical buildings still fascinate me.
 Stubbornness is still a word I'd use to describe people here.

I'm proud to call this country and city my home.

Who wants to come visit it with me next time?!??? 

I had the pleasure in meeting the fun gal Ashley from She's Come Undone.
If you haven't stumbled upon her blog, you are missing out.
And word has it she may return to Luzern soon.
See???
This city is beautiful.

xoxo

Sick and Tired... A Weekend Update

Hey lovelies,

Today I'm linking up with Leeann and Sami for the weekend update. ;)

But before I *picture* update you, here's what's up with me which is some sort of an undate too...

A few days ago I experienced dizziness which kind of alarmed me. I haven't felt this dizzy and heavy-headed in months. Did not like it at all. In fact, I hated it. I was about to rip all of my clothes off (yes, really!), and walk around naked if need be just to get rid of that intense heavy feeling. I had to get some bubbly drink somewhere so I could feel a little better but it sure didn't help. I looked at my mom and she just said: "oh girl, you really must have forgotten how awful this air and altitude made you feel in the past!". Thanks mom, really. Yes I did. Well, I didn't but hoped I would not experience it at all. Two weeks into my trip home and baaaam...it hit me. I pulled myself together and tried to smile and breathe regularly.

The feeling I've been experiencing is a combination of a heavy headache, nausea, asthma, and an anxiety attack. How's that for an explanation? It just sucks. I've had it before, saw doctors and was told that this feeling in this area is simply just normal. The only way to get rid of it is to leave. Also, if you were ever wondering...Yes, I did go back to school but also left home to be back at my second or shall we call it third home to not only learn more and change my career but also to feel better and healthier. And, as a matter of fact it did work. I may not work and earn money (and that's another thing I hate at the moment!), but I am feeling better, feeling myself, living life, smiling, studying, learning, growing, and just literally finding my path in life.

So, to really update you on what's been going on...

I have been feeling off for a few days now which kind of ruined my weekend.

BUT, I enjoyed NYE with friends, and thoughout my two weeks here in Europe met a few more friends for a fun getaway, get-togethers which included day trips, lunches and dinners and just silly girl talks. I missed them all. With or without kids. I missed them all. They'll always be part of me and I know I will always be part of their lives. No matter where we are in life. I know I can count on them.
AND, I'm super stoked...two of my friends will be in California in September. Yes, eight months from now but hey it's something to look forward to and I'm super excited!!!

And now I'm sure you wanna see photos?! Without further ado...

 

Really...in no particular order this was my weekend, my NYE and a day trip to the only area close by still covered with snow. YAY. The rest of the weekend I literally spent relaxing, and meeting my friend for a few drinks but it turned out I should not have gone out at all.

Hope your weekend was awesome.

Happy Monday!

Merry Christmas from Europe

Merry Christmas to all of you out there.

Yes, it is the 24th. That's when people here celebrate and get together and yes, even open all the presents. Exactly, we don't wait until the 25th. Legend also has it that it's not Santa Claus who brings all the gifts. Shocked? Ahhhh, don't be. Different country, different culture, different view. My own opinion technically says that the 24th and the 25th are both days we can and should celebrate something and regardless of the presents (which we all know we always longed for as kids) should be cherished and valued each year in a new way. Some people take it for granted. Some don't even care. Whatever you do or don't do on these two days, remember to live life to the fullest, say thank you and please, and allow some time to reflect on the past eleven to twelve months. Remember the good as well as the bad times, and look forward to a brand new year welcoming you with open arms and lots of opportunities.

How I'm celebrating?
I thought I would see my family again and spend Christmas as usual with cousins and all but turns out...we are not so much on good terms these days. So I'm in Europe without any holiday plans, and yes I am my mom's Christmas gift and it's only going to be the two of us today. Tomorrow...well, the 25th will be celebrated with a couple (mutual friend of mom's and I) and we are going to one of my favorite expensive restaurants. Let's just say I see this as a gift. I will get spoiled by just eating there. Good, huh?

And yes, I will update.
But this holiday is not the time or place to do so...right after it...I promise.

So, whatever you do...stay merry, enjoy it, sit back and read or watch TV if you can't stand it, don't even get dressed if you don't have to, but hey, think back of what you have accomplished; even if this means you finally finished one book or a recipe you always wanted to try. Remember, even the little things are great accomplishments. 

I have missed you all.

xoxo

P.s. if feels good to be online again...and yes, if you need to wonder...I do miss California at the moment.

Happy Birthday!

She's turning 721 today!!!
Yes, you read right.
721.

Happy Birthday, Switzerland.

Yes, the Swiss flag a little different than usual.
With dried meat and cheese...just the way I like it.
And it's hot today...just so very perfect for August!

xoxo

Switzerland Update #1

I might have slightly shared my love for Istanbul...and trust me, I am not done yet with that...but I thought it is time to share my love for my own place, for my own country and its life. It wouldn't be fair, and I think you are itching just a tiny bit to know where I am and how I am doing and what I am feeling. 

Home.

You are everything to me.

You hold my secrets, and I hold yours.
Your beauty at six in the morning on a warm summer's day is impossible to describe. It needs to be felt and seen, preferably from one specific bridge crossing the river. 

Your beauty at seven at night on a brisk winter's day with all the lights giving you even more light, makes me smile, and my heart grow happy. 

You are often called the City of Lights and you deserve every bit of it. 

You are glowing, beautifully.

Even though you drive me insane because you are rather tiny, you grow incredibly wide and deep when it comes to your annual festivals. Whether it is a carnival, or a music festival you are booming, you are singing, and you certainly are also dancing. Your heartbeat is felt the most during those days and then you rest.

Your people come from all over.

Your flourish with tourists, and your locals aren't fully locals anymore.

Though your people love and appreciate every corner that you hold dear, even for more than 500 years. Your history and the stories you can call your own fascinate me every time. Over the years I have forgotten most of them, yes I know. But I learned them in school and thought "hey why should I even know what happened in 1291 or in 1444 or even in 1780, when I live in the 1990's".

Today I know.
Your history is my history.

The reason I can walk on cobble stoned streets and through alleys in the old town is your history.

The reason I can walk through your old town and still find a spot I have never ever seen before amazes me.

The reason I find ways to sneak in and detour a little so I still end up ten minutes faster at my destination is only because of your history. Your stairs, your alleys, your lanterns, your fountains, and your gates fascinate me every day.

I long for you when I am not there.

I miss your buildings.
I miss your lake, and the surrounding mountains.
I miss everything...
...just not the allergies you give me, and the pain I feel every time I order a coffee or plain water.
But I miss you.

Hope you are having a fabulous day...whatever you are doing and wherever you are.
Know that I will enjoy my little town today...having dinner with friends and coworkers I haven't seen in a year. It sure feels like ten years instead of just one. We're going to one of my favorite restaurants - so authentic, you'd think you'd be in Italy itself.

xoxo