5 Ways to Stay Sane {Work & Study}

When you are in a relationship, especially early on, everything feels great, glorious and just beyond anything you had imagined. Life couldn't be better. When that relationship intensifies by you living together under one roof you get to experience a different kind of relationship. You get to enjoy {or not} each other's daily moves, habits, and what not. Both sides need to adjust and accept new rules, new ways to live life. No need to change everything but there will be adjustments and there will hardship {not too much I hope}.

When your other half returns to school, then, well then life changes a bit more. You'd think, hey yes, I remember going to college, I remember that lame homework, those awful papers and assignments and the projects no one wanted to work on. It'll be a breeze. Yes, I remember all that.

I do, too. I still do, and I see it every day. *insert crazy face here*

Don't get me wrong I love that B is in school. It shows dedication and determination. He wants to get his goals accomplished and he wants them accomplished soon. This not only requires us to spend more on life than normal {hello, schoolbooks that cost $120 each and that is the used book price, not to mention the parking permits}, but it also requires us to find a balance in between school, home assignments, work and marriage. I'm kind of happy we don't have friends here who want to hang out often. If we did I'd welcome them of course, but that would add a bit to the already full load. So how we {heck, I} stay sane?! Here's 5 things I do to stay sane while my other half works and studies his butt off at the same time.

1. Let him do his thing
Literally. My way to study and cram stuff in is in no his way. I need a quiet, or maybe a semi-quiet, environment. I can't have music blasting or chatter next or around me. I also can't have distractions around me. My laptop stays shut off {unless needed to study and type homework up}. My phone is on silent and far far away from me. His way? It's all over the place. Laptop open, YouTube open {I am not joking}, music blasting and what not. He studies for about 15 minutes and then takes an hour break or more. I do it the opposite around.
So, I am forcing myself to let him do his thing. It has clearly worked for him in the past and until now so why make him change a thing. I also try to stay far away from him because, I so want to turn off the TV, radio and Internet so badly every time I see him "study".

2. Find something that occupies you, and you only
I read, he doesn't. So while he is doing his thing at night or whenever I am around I grab a book and start reading it in the bedroom. Or, I catch up on my TV shows. It's little things like that. It's things I only do. Or, if I feel I need to splurge...I go shopping by myself but we all know how this usually ends. Find something that you can do by yourself and only yourself. It definitely helps not to be around hearing him curse at the assignments or life.

3. Schedule, schedule, schedule
While I was studying I had my planner, and I wrote down when I had midterms, assignments due, and finals. I also wrote down when I needed to return certain items, turn something in, had a date, and needed to meet up with my monthly book club. I scheduled it and I made sure I wouldn't miss any thing. Well, B is a guy. He doesn't schedule well. He doesn't write down important things. It's a guy thing. So, it is important to schedule for your other half so you stay sane while your other half is trying to survive under so much school pressure as well. Half the time he didn't remember he had an exam in a week. I knew it though and reminded him. So yes, schedule schedule schedule...for you, for your partner, and yes, even for the two of you. No one has time to forget anything or miss a special date or meeting.

4. Schedule Time Out
This may sound like part of #3 and it may as well be but it is crucial to schedule a time out day. This day doesn't have to be a day where a date occurs or you go hiking together {that's a date, too, no?!}. It's a day no one does a school or work related thing. Sleep in, don't touch the course load, don't even check any social media {and if you have to, have scheduled times for that like 9-10am and 5-6pm}, don't do chores...just be you and only you. Watch a movie together, explore the city, or yes, go on a date for all I care...just don't do a thing about school or work or both. Take that time to be with your partner. It's called time out from the work/school load...so take that day as an opportunity to find a way back to your pre-school/work days. And turn your darn cellphone off!!! I schedule such a day {yes, see, I do it} about every two weeks. It's not easy but it is oh so worth it.

5. Picture the Outcome
Yes, picture the outcome. Let's be honest here, there are times when I want to tear every single book and notebook of his apart. I'm done with school and seeing him being exhausted and in a way unhappy makes me sad and mad. It's frustrating to work and go to school. It's frustrating to be in school at times. He wants to be done. I get it. I can't help him much with the load. I don't make him do a ton around the house unless really necessary. I want him to focus on his studies. I have to remind him of the outcome almost every day. There are times he wants to quit. Badly. I have to sit down and make him picture the outcome. Once he pictures it he knows he is on the right track towards something awesome. It's hard to do this when you're exhausted and fed up, so trust me when I say that we have to picture the future almost daily these days. Yet, it is doable. And it will be so beneficial!!

These 5 ways are not the only ways to stay sane while your other half works or/and studies. There's is a ton more, yet, these five steps have helped us stay relatively sane. Granted, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit it, there are moments all these steps fail. We are only human. Yet, I make an effort to help out and be as understanding and supporting as I can be. There is only so much I can do at times. I can't write a paper for him, and I can't help with projects but I can help with printing out things, letting him do his thing while I cook or clean. It's the little things that count. And when I'm all fed up I grab a book, pour me a glass of red wine and head into the bedroom while I get lost in the written word. That always sounds like a fabulous time out for me. ;)

It's definitely not easy to do both, work and school. I see the future and I know he does too but we all know, sometimes the future looks too far away and even off the wishful, easy path. Oftentimes we have to take the rougher, more difficult way to get to where we want to be. He's chosen the middle route and I am so hoping this won't kick him or me in the butt one day.

We work hard to get to where we want to end up and I have to tell him every day how much I appreciate his hard work, his dedication and determination. He's usually not into praise like that but he certainly needs to hear this; more now than before. He actually told me he needed to hear these words so I am making this effort to let him know how I feel about his hard work as often as I can. We have had our differences and as I mentioned, sometimes these five steps fail. Again, we are only human. We are not perfect. Yet, that imperfection makes life beautiful and quite worth the struggle.

Any school/work stories out there that you'd like to share? Are you still {or again} in school trying to better yourself? Whatever you do I hope you are doing a great job, and keeping yourself and your family as sane and happy as even possible.

xox

5 Night Routines for a Healthy Relationship

There are tons of books out there talking about how to fix a relationship, how to live better, how to behave better, how to act, and how not to act. Honestly, I never touched one. I believe in the written word and I am sure that all these books help in some way and show a way to improve or enjoy a happier relationship especially when the relationship is not going so well. There is a book for pretty much anything and everything. What inspires me though is to find out how to make the already happy and well functioning relationship work even better. Why look for help or suggestions when something is crumbling, about to shatter into millions of pieces? You can call it prevention...I call it inspiration. Bring the better you out and live it so it is felt and shown in any relationship. Here are my five tips to add to your night routine when in a relationship...

1. Never ever go to bed angry or mad. Not worth it. It will kill your sleep. Seriously, think about it. When you go to bed angry you are stressed and stress doesn't necessarily lead to sleep. You won't be able to fall asleep as fast or rest as much as you would like to. You may sleep but how peaceful will that sleep be when you are angry at your partner? You wake up groggy and your day is off to a bad start.
2. Prepare for the next day. Now this sounds like it doesn't belong here but look at it this way...when you prepare for the next day you not only lay out clothes, shoes and get your bag{s} ready, you also prepare for the future. You look ahead. You plan. You look forward to the next day {or not, depending on what you're up to}. Yet, the more you prepare for the next day the easier your morning will be...and the smoother your night's rest will feel as well.
3. Put all electronics away {phones, tablets, laptops}. It's a distraction. If you really want to check with social media, emails or games before you go to bed schedule a specific time for it. Let's say you go to bed at 10.30, make 9.30 to 9.45 the time to check for all of that and then make those bad boys go away! No need to lay in bed next to your partner and not engaging with your partner, which brings me to the next tip:
4. Connect. Talk, play games, massage, tickle, be intimate in any kind of form you would like. Being intimate does not mean you have to have sex, remember that. Connect with your partner. We talk a lot in bed. We go over the day, what went right what went wrong. What the next day looks like or the next week.  All that while he is massaging that knot on my muscle away. This gives us a chance to re-connect, to get everything out of the way and clear our heads so we don't go to bed angry {see tip #1}.
5. Always kiss good-night and say good-night. It's that simple. We made a rule that we would always do this no matter what. It makes sense and brings harmony. It's also a nice way to end any day and know that you are not alone and loved. It is part of my fourth tip, but brings this nightly routine to an end. 

These are my night routines for my healthy relationship with my man. There are many more tips out there on what to do before you go to bed. Yes, shower, brush teeth, remove make-up, stretch, read, play with pets, put lotion on, or what not. All those are important, too. Today I wanted to solely focus on five simple yet effective ways to end a day and get a hopefully good night's rest. You may think, wait a minute...what if you have children? What is that nightly routine going to look like then because it is quite likely to happen that both sides will be exhausted and won't have time for a good-night kiss...

...well, then my lovely readers...then I don't know. Is a kiss really that hard to manage?

xox

Our Fall Traditions

A new season has started {for me that is} and every time I make a seasonal list of things I would like to do, see, cook, or simply accomplish by the time that specific season is over. This time I have only one wish. I want to create a fantastic fall season by continuing our fall traditions we started two years ago. This season wouldn't be complete with our weekly date nights {at home or outside} and fun fall traditions - my fall list for this year - may it be as colorful as I imagine it to be.

Pumpkin Patches

I am a sucker for these big giants. I love them in all kinds of colors but orange is my favorite. We found a great pumpkin patch farm last year and will most probably go back to the same place. However, since we moved I am hoping to find another one closer to our new home. We can go to two patches this year! Oh, I am very excited now. Cannot wait to go perfect pumpkin hunting again. 

Pumpkin Carve Date

We started this tradition last year. We didn't have the motivation or time {that is a lie now} to get pumpkins and carve them years ago. I usually painted mine and called it a day. Lazy bum, I know. Last year we finally decided to make it an annual date day. We will get our pumpkins and carve them together. It will be a fun date, trying to compete to create the better looking pumpkin...last year we both won as we started this tradition. This year however, the competition is ON - with or without my Cinderella pumpkin {the hardest to carve, guys, but it still turned out awesome}.

Find a Local Spot or Festival to Celebrate Fall

What I love most is finding new places to go to. When we travel this is my thing to do, and my list is usually long. When we moved last year my excitement was tremendous because a new city meant there was a ton we had to discover. During the summer it was way too hot to do anything special, but during fall?! Yes please!!
We found this cute little town that hosts an annual pumpkin night. It's called the Night of 1000 Pumpkins. We went and fell in love. If you love to see carved pumpkins, lights, and people creating a free night to remember...by all means, go and attend. We will certainly go back this year. Their theme this year is Back to the Future II. This night has definitely become our to experience. Cannot wait.

I am so glad fall is knocking on our doors. I am happy temperatures are dropping {slooooowwwwwly}, and that means that soon it will be cool enough to wear a sweater, cardigan, or even jacket and sit outside and sip on hot ciders or tea. With that our fall traditions can begin. I am excited. My man and I will most probably go pumpkin hunting {haha}, then carve ours and enjoy the festivities. Yes, it's still September but as we all know time sometimes runs faster than anything else, so I am already making sure we get appropriate time off to enjoy all our fall traditions we so beautifully started.

So looking forward to our fall dates!!!

What about you? Do you have special fall traditions with or without your significant other, family, friends?
Let me know, I can always add a few ideas to our fall fun.

xoxo

One Year

 

It's hard to believe it's been one whole year since B and I said "I Do." All day we have been talking about our special day and how simply beautiful it was. We were blessed with gorgeous California weather and were surrounded by great people on the most important day of our lives. Our first year has challenged both of us but we also believe it has made us stronger and appreciate each other better.  I'm so lucky to have B for a partner. I know we have many fun adventures ahead of us and I cannot wait to share it with him. 

Thanks for an amazing first year! I love you!

xoxo

image via here

Your Journey Happens for a Reason

Happy Monday everyone!!

How was your weekend?
Mine? Well, as usual I tried to spend it as casually as possible. I stayed home most of the time, watched a ton of girlie movies, drank a lot of water and tea, ate bounty {chocolate covered coconut bars - and if you know me long enough you know I don't like chocolate but bounty? YES please}, and just enjoyed hanging out in my jammies. That is how I roll these days. Not too shabby.

Also, I had the privilege to enjoy a sunny Sunday afternoon...we drove around for over one hour in hopes to find a nice place to park and walk around and guess what? It wasn't possible. So we ended up going back to my friend's place and ate dessert in a restaurant nearby. It was a great afternoon, but one that exhausted us. My friend's newborn girl however was the champ...no crying, no complaining, just constant sleeping and funny facial expressions. Gotta love babies. 

And...I woke up to an email my FIL wrote to me. He has daughter hugs withdrawals and wishes I was there. Totally made my morning. I will fly home in three weeks folks. Three weeks...cannot wait. I have been away for too long...but what can I say?! Mom wanted me to stay a little longer and she got her wish...I just have to let go of her and our memories for right now, just as much as she let go of me years ago when I decided to move to the US. I have family there now, and I want to be happy there. I will always love my hometown and I will always return, even to visit mom and bring her her favorite flowers but I have to move on and live the life I was meant to live. So knowing my family awaits me and will be there to support me once arrived means the world to me. I am sad but I am hopeful because I have a great support system behind me, and those doggies?! Yes, those doggies will kiss me like they haven't kissed me before {sounds gross now, just re-reading it}. 

I am counting down the days I am going back home embracing my favorite person, hugging everyone, and moving forward. This journey happened for a reason and it is okay. It's part of my life and it will only make me stronger!!!!

Have a fabulous day. Send me some happy vibes though...I always need them.

xoxo

image via here

Five Steps to Help One Recover

Seven full weeks have past. Seven! I cannot believe it. Where did the time go? Really. I have been away from currently very hot Northern California for eight weeks; that is also terrible. But, it has been seven full weeks. What is worst about these seven weeks is that I have not been able to fully grief, to mourn, to let go of my feelings, the pain, the sorrow, the everything I feel that makes me miss my mom ever so dearly. I have let go of some. I had to. Though this is a process, and if you have lost anyone close in your life, anyone dear in your precious life, you know that this is a process that will take months, if not years. This is not something you just shake off as Taylor Swift would say. This is something you have to deal with, you have to face each day, each second even, just to get by.  This is a process no one wants to go through but at some point in life kind of has to.

There's people who can deal with this long period of grief in a very simply, easy way. They don't technically shake it off but they do recover quite easily, and do not seem to feel much sorrow or pain. They do, but their way to get over that huge hole of darkness is less complicated, less sad, less everything. Then, there's people who have to deal with this grief differently. There's a black hole that looks too big to jump over, but also looks like it is slowly closing up to make room for a new path in life. I believe I am somewhere in between these two people. My aunt for example seems to be okay with whatever happened. Granted, she is healing differently, she is dealing differently. She has lost her husband, my beloved uncle, many months ago and yet it is still fresh. She has lost her grandchild way too early as well. She seems to have it all figured out. I, on the other hand, know that I must deal with the sudden loss of my mom differently. I have not lost my love for life, but I have lost purpose at the moment. I freaked out. I got burned out. I had no time to grief. It has been seven weeks but holy mother of whatever, I cleaned everything out, I organized everything, and figured it all out and had literally no time to sit down and accept what really happened. It came to me last week. My chest still hurts. My left side still hurts. My doctor said I am stressed, exhausted, and just in pain because I have lost a parent; and in my case it is in a way two parents since mom was mother and father at the same time. I have learned to let go of my feelings. When my chest hurts I start to cry and poof...the pain is gone. Just like that. I take hot showers {no bathtub where I am currently staying} and poof the pain is gone. I cry a lot. I watch a lot of TV or movies {thank you Netflix for working in Europe}, and I just try to go out as often as possible...not to get stuck in a room or apartment for too long. This gets really depressing, really.

So, the best five things I learned over the past two weeks that help me recover from my loss are the following:

1) LOTS of rest and fluids {herbal teas, and water, and maybe some coke}

2) Lots of fresh air, even if it is just a walk around the corner and back into bed...fresh air is crucial.

3) Crying. It is okay to cry. It is normal. No one looks pretty when crying so no worries there. Crying helps ease the pain, and let go of trapped emotions - and I have many trapped emotions.

4) Talking about it. It is not easy to talk about it here in Switzerland so I am going to talk about my loss once I am back in California. My in-laws are helping me find a place to go to. I learned that it is best for me to talk about it to someone or a group of neutrals. Friends here are helpful, family too. But when you talk to someone who didn't know mom, is fully new to the story...that is sometimes even more helpful. I even talked to my doctor here. She may just be my regular doc but telling her already helped tremendously. Oh, and writing about it helps, too.

5) Look forward to the future. I mean, as much as it hurts to look back and see photos of mom or hear someone talk about her...and as much as I want her here with me, she won't be with me physically. She will be next to me in spirit I know that and I feel it but I have to let go of the what if's, and look ahead. The future is bright. The future is mine. I have a wedding to attend. I bought a brilliant dress, and I am ready to celebrate my cousin's big day!!!! I have a husband to return to, a new place to finally enjoy living in, and a future as bright as even possible.

These five things are so easy, so ordinary. It's usually the simply things that make the most sense. It's like when tiny, little things enrich our lives even more than the bigger, more expensive items do. Simplicity is key. And patience. 

As much as I want to sleep for the next three weeks I know I cannot. I will sleep in longer and go to bed earlier but I will not let mom take over my life and make it sad. I am a happy girl. I deserve happy moments. I deserve sunny days, and walks along the lake. I deserve a chest that will not hurt any more. I deserve cry-less days. I deserve happiness away from my hometown. I deserve to return to my favorite person and spend the rest of our lives together. I deserve a new bag once I return, I deserve doggie kisses, I deserve the smell of a new baby {my best friend just got her second this week}, I deserve pure, unaltered, ridiculous happiness...in any way possible. I want it all. I need it all.

So I am letting go of this heavy heavy burden and pain in my heart and chest. I am letting go of those what if's because they do not exist anymore. I am letting go of the thought mom would call. I am letting go of whatever there is I must let go of to fully be able to live my life the only way I know how and want to. I am letting go of her. I am letting go of negativity. 

I am embracing today...a day I am channeling an easier way to get over that black hole and making it close up faster. I know it won't happen in a day but there's hope. One step at a time. I know I can. Thanks to writing it out it already helps a bit...a bit is better than nothing at all. No?

YES. I am using those five steps to recover...slowly but eventually I will be there.

So excuse me, I am going for a walk right now...and I will listen to cheesy but fun music...distraction is also key, not just patience and simplicity.

xoxo

image via here and here and here

Good-Bye!

Today I am saying good-bye to my beloved mom. She will be greatly missed.

The void I, and so many others, have been feeling will linger for a little while longer. I know with today a huge chapter of this tremendously harsh shock will close its doors; not completely but slowly and carefully. With today, I can finally look forward and finally move on. With today I will be surrouned by people who have known and loved my mom, and who have also loved me. With today, I will be surrounded by family and close friends who will support me, love me, and be there for me no matter what. I will not be alone. I never ever will be.

Today will be intense, but today will be wonderful as well. I will not say good-bye by myself and that is all I wanted. I will be happy. I will be grateful. I will walk through this world with an open heart and an open soul. I will not despair or regret. I will love. I will live. I will nurture. I will remember. She will live on in all our hearts and souls. With everything I will do I will cherish and remember her.

Today, we may say good-bye to my life loving mom...but we will celebrate her life and not dwell in the past. We will hold our Raki glasses high up and salute to life, love, family, and very close friends who made their way to her memorial service!

I know mom would have loved it that way.

Yes, she would have.

image via pinterest

June Life

My lovelies,

it has been too long. It feels like forever and in a way it has been forever. I am doing well considering what I have been going through. It is funny to think of my current situation. I wanted to visit mom and make sure she is well taken care of, and then return to California after ten days. My ten days now have become probably six weeks, and I will stay even longer but there's light at the end of this long and dark tunnel. I can see it. I am managing, and I am handling it all well. Mom's apartment will be emptied June 30, most of her stuff is gone, given away, donated, or by next week will be tossed forever. I kept a lot, and sent a lot away. The post office definitely loves me. I should get a customer of the month trophy. Also, knowing friends and family took items to remember her by, and to enjoy a carpet or two or a TV or a huge wooden table or books...it means a lot.

Worst part of my entire month was to write her eulogy. I will not be speaking at her funeral. I have a speaker do that difficult task. Yet, I will have family come from Turkey and the US and they will not understand Swiss-German. So, I decided instead of having it all spoken in English all over again I will have it all written out on a paper for those who do not understand my first language. Mom thought, dreamed, and even spoke 99% Swiss-German, so why on earth would I have the service in regular German or any other language? Plus, who wants to lengthen a sad memorial service anyways...we know it hurts, we know it is sad, and we know it sucks...to have it repeated twice is redundant. 

Other than this lengthy process and quite frankly, discrimination against the ones who are left behind (there is so much paperwork to be dealt with it is insane and just morbid...come on, let me mourn, let me enjoy life and go on with it and not feel stuck in my hometown...I want to enjoy it, and I want to love it and look back to the summer I lost my mom, but the summer I also learned to live again without her), I am doing well. I have to remind myself that life goes on. It has to. Mom would have wanted it that way. I mean, let's be frank here, we all know the time will come when we have to say good-bye to our parents, our friends, our relatives...we just try to ignore this very open fact.

I am doing well. Yes, I have said this three time already...but I am. Okay, yes, I have my moments and I know those moments will repeat themselves...especially when I am back in California surrounded by my in-laws and hubby, all trying to help me out and stuff. I will be more than just grateful for their help (and they have been helpful ever since). Yet, I know, I will have good days, and I will have terrible days. 

The good days I know will be in July...early July I will be flying to Istanbul to see my entire relatives again. It will be a family reunion after many many years. It has been years that we were all together in one place...usually always one part was missing...either my uncle from the US with his clan, or my Turkish cousins were doing a year abroad or something. This time we all will be together. Just mom will be missing but I will honor her that whole time and make sure we will remember her. Also, the main reason I am going is my cousin's wedding. What better thing to do than celebrate life and love by attending your cousin's special day? We have always been close so it will be just an awesome celebration. Also, she is coming to mom's memorial service...if she can come for a few days to my place, then I can come for a few days to her place.

Also, I am trying to have most things settled and handled this month so I can fly back home to California in July. Please send me some happy, healthy, and speedy thoughts and vibes over. I need them more than ever. I am almost done here. I miss California. I miss my favorite person, and I miss my life there. Sounds weird but I chose to live there and be there so it is time to do this exact thing. I really do not want to stay here any longer than I have to. I am so exhausted and so ready to leave...so send me some good vibes please. Thank you!!!

One day I will catch up...promised!

xoxo

images via {I don't remember} and here

10 Affordable Date Ideas

Whether you are married, engaged, or just living with your boyfriend or girlfriend, your significant other is part of your life. You practically share everything with one another, you live together and spend your lives together to make it memorable for the both of you. There is a reason you decided to take this step. There will be a time when everything makes sense, and there will also be a time when nothing makes sense. 

The time will come when life takes over and work or life in general make you feel miserable, tired, angry, upset, and even just alone. Coming home to your favorite person will be your favorite part of the day, no matter how exhausted you are. You will look forward to a smile, a hug, or a kiss just to feel the love and mutual understanding. These are the times that bond the two of you. These are the times that also push the two of you away, inch by inch. It's a combination of both and over the years I have learned that it is quite normal and shouldn't be alarming. Just because we decided to spend the rest of our life with another person doesn't mean we give up our former life or stop our growth. We adjust, we learn, we figure things out. The honeymoon phase {the happy, everything is awesome moment we all know exists} sometimes comes to an end and you need to find a way back to the honeymoon phase. Why?! Because, you know, life is too short and you want to be happy rather than dwell on a nasty day, comment, or dirty chores. You want to smile, think happy thoughts and live life with a positive attitude. 

One thing I have learned from past relationships and now with my happily every after is that you should never start or end the day with a negative attitude. You should always talk it over, you should always listen and pay attention, even when you are about to explode or cook dinner. Most importantly, you should always make an effort to make one another feel special and important, and best way to do so is to regularly ask each other out. 

Yes, date nights!!! This isn't new news but we still often neglect that part of any relationship. Just because you've been dating for ten years {or eight months} or been married for five, you should still make the time to regularly go out with your significant other. Date night doesn't mean a fancy dinner reservation and an elaborate trip, even though the idea is spectacular. Date night means spending time together and being there for one another, heck, even learning new things about each other {yes, even after ten years!}. So I thought I'd write a post about things you could do with your favorite person; things you know you want to or have done before...but never fully put thought into it, and most of it is practically free!

Date Night Ideas

• Learn a new language together
  Imagine you'd learn French together, you could pair your weekly two-hour session with a glass of red wine or cheese, grapes and cold meat. It doesn't have to be a boring date session where you two sit in front of your books and study new words. Make it fun, test each other or try to speak to one another in that new language only. It's fun!
• Print your favorite photos and create an album together
  It's fun when one person does it, but with the input of two the outcome will be even more fantastic. It will be a great date night going over old photos, remembering fun times, and having a laugh or two.
• Decide on a whole meal and cook it together
  Make it a cute stay-at-home dinner date, and make it fancy. Don't cook just one course, make three out of it. One of you makes the appetizer, one makes the dessert and the main dish you work on together. Dress up, and pretend you'd be picked up at a certain hour. You can still go out on a stroll afterwards. And yes, no phones or TV.
• Make a seasonal list {it's fun to make a summer list together}
  A new season means new opportunities open up for all of us to experience. You'd rather go swim in the lake in the summer than in the winter, right? And you'd rather make popsicles and sangrias in the summer than any other time, right? Me, too. So sit down and create your summer list, and try to make an effort making those. Or make a fall list. Whichever. It's free, and fun, and allows you to plan ahead and look forward to future dates together.
• Discover something new together
  Whether it is a new restaurant, a restaurant you haven't been to but always wanted to try, a new neighborhood park, a new store, or a bike trail...make an effort to take time and explore it together. If money is tight and you still want to try that new Tapas place downtown, try to set weekly money apart together so you both can look forward to some Spanish Yumminess!
• Go out for a walk
  Maybe you are blessed like us with a trail just around the corner, or you live next to a river, lake, the beach...then get your comfy walking wear on and head on outside. It doesn't have to be a whole day event {if so, make it a picnic day}; just go out and walk together. Turn your phone to silent and put it in a bag {you still want it with you for emergencies; you never know}. Go out, walk, talk, and enjoy somewhat quiet, personal time together. Want to join us on our seven-mile walk?! You're more than welcome.
• Find a diner and have a milkshake
  Share the shake if you want, or have fries with it too. Simple, yes unhealthy, but oh so good. Plus, it kind of brings the old-fashioned date idea back, doesn't it?
• Go to your local farmer's market together
  You don't need to buy a thing. It would be nice if you did but we all know those markets can be pricey. Stroll around, smell the fresh fruit and the colorful flowers. Take it all in. Support your community. Plus, have I mentioned free samples?!
•  Stay home and watch a movie together
  This can be combined with the cooking together. Make it a Netflix night, or just find a show or movie at home that both of you have not seen yet. One night let your partner choose the genre and film, and one night make it your turn to choose your favorite genre.
• Play a game together
  Have cards at home? Or a puzzle? Are both somewhere in the corner, probably covered in dust? Then it is time to bring them out. Game night can bring the two of you together. Plus, it's free since you already have those at home. Own a Playstation or Wii?! Even better. Haven't used those in months or years?! It is about time.

I am no expert. The thing I learned is that we easily neglect ourselves, and oftentimes each other. We start to take each other for granted. You come home and you know the other one is at home, either waiting, cooking, reading, whatever. You may ask how each other's day was or you may not. You want some time to yourself {which is normal} but you should also acknowledge that there is someone else at home; with you. Life happens. Life can be busy, and overwhelming, and I am sure with children it is even more difficult to sit down and have some quiet, one-on-one time. Make it an effort though. Bring the honeymoon phase back. 

Now if you were wondering...our honeymoon phase is still somewhere around. We are just having a little bit of a rough patch. No worries though. It's okay and we kind of expected it. New work and its awful schedule is so draining, so exhausting. Also, all plans we had got kind of ruined. Add a tremendous amount of schoolwork to the bliss and you have a mess. 

So it is crucial to create scheduled date nights. I never thought I had to do this. Ha. Life can be mean sometimes. Yes, I schedule our date nights. Once a week. Think that is too much? Think again. When you were dating you couldn't wait to see your favorite person...once a week wasn't enough. Same here, same today. There are times we hardly get to talk because he is so exhausted. I almost had to spoon feed him one night because he was not able to lift his arms to eat a proper meal. He ended up eating without me feeding him, if you were wondering. Yes, life can drain you and take all the joy from your blissful happily ever after. Fight back. I am fighting back!!!!

I cannot wait until Friday! :)

xoxo

Free Items are the Best Items

Remember my post a few weeks ago about how much I love Influenster and their programs?! Well, last week I received my latest VoxBox from them and I couldn't be more excited. It's those little things that make me happy and super smiley. 

This VoxBox was basically a box associated with the month of February and its love theme. Their XO VoxBox was filled with love and it came in two parts. One was the box filled with goodies to try and write about, and the other "box" was a set of free lingerie of your choice. Let's just say as a girl who loves her lingerie and anything cute, I was beyond happy! Yes, I received free lingerie for testing. 

So, what's in my box this time and what do I think?!

- Tide Pods with Febreze 
These arrived at the perfect time. I am {still} running out of laundry detergent so receiving these was a blessing. Loved that they are small and hassle free. Never thought pods would work in a laundry machine {dishwasher is a different story} so I was pleasantly surprised to see my laundry come out fresh and clean. Great product!

- Skinfix Hand Repair Cream
Saw and felt immediate results. My hands feel softer, and my dry spot on my ring finger I have been trying to get rid of for weeks has been healing quite nicely. I am very impressed.

- Colgate Optic White toothbrush and built-in whitening pen
To be honest I was a bit hesitant to use this product. Yes, I want whiter teeth. Yes, I have tried other products and got nervous because they always made my teeth and gums more sensitive. What I liked about this product is that it was easy to use. Brush as usual, rinse, whiten, and go on with your day. That simple. No waiting, no trying to fit stuff onto your teeth, nothing. As a coffee and red wine lover whiter teeth are a must. So far, I this product was easy to use and my teeth and gums are okay. I have been using this whitening product only for a few days so I cannot tell whether or not they have gotten slightly whiter.

- Colgate Optic White Express White toothpaste
I haven't used this one because I am still finishing up my other toothpaste. One thing at a time. Cannot use it all.

- John Frieda Frizz Ease Collection {Shampoo, Conditioner, and Primer}
Will use these products during spring break when visiting family in Nevada, or once my current shampoo runs out. Will update my review accordingly. I cannot wait to test these because I always liked John Frieda's products. 

- Adore Me Lingerie {received two days before Valentine's Day separately from the box}
Loved my set. Shipping was fast and the product fit. I don't like ordering clothes {or underwear} online because I want to make sure they all fit so I won't have to return them all the time. I was very happy with what I ordered and loved that they have a huge variety to choose from. AdoreMe has my heart, for sure.

I just love Influenster. Also, make sure you come back for updates on these products. I haven't finished using them all so this review is incomplete. Off I go now, rubbing some of that hand repair cream on my fingers...I can see improvement and it just blows my mind. Literally.

Are you on Influenster? If not, what are you waiting for? Click here for more details.

xoxo

Disclaimer: I received these products complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes. 

Why You Should Care About Your Anniversary

This weekend we will be celebrating our six month anniversary. I cannot believe how fast time flies. It is times like this that remind me that time is fluid and we should enjoy every single day to the fullest. Not saying we are not but we often take certain things for granted. Yes, it's been six months and holy cow in half a year it will be one full year. Unbelievable. 

Do we have any plans?! Of course we do. Well, of course I do. I am the planner. You see, I have always been the one organizing, planning, figuring out things, getting it all ready and prepared. I am OCD like that. I need that. The more details added to an event the better. The more possibilities the better {sometimes also worse}. So realizing a half-anniversary is coming up I was ready. I am ready.

Why everyone should care about an anniversary is simple. It is a time to celebrate something special. It is time to celebrate life, love, happiness, and just a fantastic time. Granted there are anniversaries that do not make us happy. My cousin's life is one of them. However, it is still a time to cherish what that person once was and what that person did to the world, to people, to us. It is still a time to celebrate. 

An anniversary can be many things but in my opinion is only one thing: a reminder of happiness.

I am ready to celebrate six months. 

How? Besides getting dressed all cute and looking all beautiful...the plan is to escape our current city and head on over to my favorite city ever. A stop at our absolute favorite cupcake place is a must, a stroll along the water, a few hikes up those beautiful hills, a fun photo shoot, and just a day full of laughter, smiles, jokes, and great food {plus, I have to make him love that city more; he hasn't fully warmed up to it yet}. It is not a one-year anniversary so we will not go overboard. It is the little things that count and all those cherished moments that will enrich our daily life.

So, why you should care about your anniversary?!
Because it is part of your chosen life and part of you. In short, because the anniversary is YOU. Cherish you, spoil you, and most importantly love you.

xoxo

Positive Vibes Needed

Happy Monday.

All I need from this beautiful blog world is positivity today. My favorite person and I have a big day today and need all the super duper energy-filled empowered vibes we can get. That is all. I know it is going to be a great day, but a little extra happy vibe can never hurt. 

With that being said, life is good and will be even better in the future.

Have an amazing day, and a great start into this week. 

It's the last week this month, can you believe this?

xoxo

image via pinterest

Last Minute Valentine's Day Ideas

fragrance / heart jewelry / necklace {similar} / canvas purse / top / lip gloss / mug {similar} / pillow

If you are into Valentine's Day and its cuteness but haven't fully gotten new items to enhance this so-called romantic day, then here are a few items that may add a little sparkle to your V-Day. If you didn't catch the sarcasm...I don't like Valentine's Day. I believe it is a holiday people invented to make more money. Don't get me wrong, I love everything I see and put up here. I even own the perfume and will probably get those earrings and the bag or the mug {I am obsessed with cute mugs}. I just don't understand why "we have to" go all out on February 14 for our loved ones. What happens with all the other days?! Seriously. Same goes for Mother's Day.

I digress. If you need to spruce up your wardrobe or are still looking for something cute to add to your home there's still time. It's in one week, so breathe. I have my nails painted pink and own a pair of cute, fluffy and pink socks but that's about as close as I get to "celebrating" this day. Those earrings are darling and call my name. I can hear them.

Have a fantastic weekend!

A Look Back at 2014

2014 was a wonderful year. Looking back I discovered I overcame my hear of photos, graduated, moved, settled in, got married, struggled, laughed, traveled, and loved. So much happened and I am grateful for every single moment. It was a crazy year, a crazy world...but oh so worth it.

I enjoyed the first half of the year in Southern California with friends, trips to the Improv and the beach as well as weekly explorations of restaurants. I struggled with the future and what might come next. I struggled but had a steady rock to my side. I kept quiet and privately enjoyed my love life {yes, I just called it that}. I learned that happiness existed. I said "see you" to a dear friend who left for Afghanistan {he returned two weeks ago, safe and sound}. The first half of the year was fantastic.

 

Second half of this year turned out to be different. We moved to Sacramento. We had no idea what this move will do to us. Don't get me wrong. We have settled in but we are not fully settled. We have grown to understand each other, explore this whole new area and find little things to do around here that make us happy. We both miss Southern California but we are liking it here as well; we kind of have to for the time being, no?! Fall was finally fall, and my favorite city ever is so close by it makes life up here so much easier and more fun!

 

I am thankful for all of my friends {even the ones I hardly get to see!!!}, my favorite person allowing me to be me and to brighten my day every day even when I don't feel happiest, California, my Swiss family and friends who still talk to me and who I cannot wait to see again next year, my American family, and life that constantly shows me that it is worth living and loving each moment to the fullest

Bring it on 2015!!!

Here's a look back at 2013 and what I had to say about 2012.

Wedding Update or How I Won't Share It All

Our special day was anything but traditional. We got engaged, we moved in, we lived together, we traveled together, and then we got married. No engagement party, no bridal shower, no registries, no bachelorette party, and no rehearsal dinner. Yes, none of that. Don't worry or frown for me though, I still want my bachelorette weekend, and I would love to have a shower...just post-wedding. Sound weird? I know, but think about it. We can talk about the whole day, the drama beforehand, talk about what we wore, what we ate, what I would have done differently, and what I would like to repeat again.

One major thing that prevented me from having my dream bachelorette weekend {I have it all planned out, sorta, kinda, ya know, just know that it is a weekend and know the location, everything else is then up to my girls working their magic} or a bridal shower is that none of my girlfriends live up north. They all live in the greater Los Angeles and Orange County area, or even Arizona. It meant more to me to have them with me on my big day. Also, everything happened so quickly there was hardly any time to figure things out and organize parties. Maybe I will set a new trend. Post-bachelorette weekend/party, and post-bridal shower might be something new. I should Google this before I talk about it. I know. Anyways, we will have those traditional parties just in a very nontraditional way. 

Our day was almost perfect. The few days before didn't look or feel perfect {we got married in Napa, and there was a 6.0 earthquake shaking the old buildings a little up and down and left and right the weekend before our big day}. Also, my beloved mom, my best friend, could not attend and it not only broke her heart but also mine. Besides that, and the little drama about the city of beautiful Napa it was a perfect day: the alarm went off on time. Anything else would have been a disaster. The people we love and could make it in such a short notice to our wedding came in fashion, the sun wasn't scorching hot, our restaurant was still open {we switched to an a la carte lunch than a prearranged menu}, nobody fainted, and I felt like the cutest little princess walking hand in hand with her prince charming. 

A small wedding still meant there was going to be dessert. I wanted dessert. Yet, I did not want a cake because I knew it would be almost impossible to have one made in time, and since it was an intimate affair I just did not think a cake would be appropriate. If there is a big reception or something at some point I will make sure there is cake. There were a few more cupcakes added to the above selection, and we put them neatly on a cute, everyday-use, tier. Plus, yes, most of the cupcakes were gluten free and I could not have been happier with Kara's Cupcakes. If you are in the Northern California area I'd recommend you check them out. Every other place I tried up here just disappointed me greatly. 

What I was very particular about was the little tiny details. Despite arranging a simple and easy-going wedding day we still wanted to dress up {it is a wedding after all}, and have our guests arrive dressed up as well. I still wanted some decoration, a cake or cupcakes, and favors as a thank you note to our lovely guests for driving or flying up. Making my own favors, and adding a little personal touch to them was very important to me. Purple, polka dots, and monograms were a must. I just had to remind myself that our wedding was simple and that I should not overwhelm or overdo the whole thing.

Small, intimate or not, there was one thing I was VERY particular about. The Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, and Something Blue. That was the only tradition we had at our wedding, and the speeches friends gave.  

Something Old - a purple ring I was given for the day {also, something borrowed}. It belonged to B's grandma and matched my vintage outfit and vineyard surroundings perfectly.

Something New - The dress I was wearing and the clutch I was using.

Something Borrowed - My best friend's M.'s bracelet that gave me some extra sparkle.

Something Blue - my toenails were painted in baby blue

Yes I am holding a Redbull can. Two girls were walking around giving away those cans and so we grabbed some. I don't like Redbull but felt like I wanted to try their new flavor. Now, if you were wondering...I'm walking alone here because right after this photo was taken I threw the bouquet to my friend {the only single girl at the wedding}. Of course she caught it.

We took our friends who stayed the entire weekend to our favorite Italian restaurant in Sacramento, and we explored Old Sacramento again. Plus, who doesn't want to get high on candy?!

Our day was special. It was also different.
I can't believe how fast time flies, it is already mid-October and it's crazy. We are still writing our Thank You cards, one at a time. Do we feel any different? Not really. He goes to work, attends school as well, and I cook, clean and organize things with our lives as much as even possible. I may have changed my name, and I may have two rings now on my ring finger but other than that nothing has changed. We are happy and loving each day {even when I hit a low day and don't feel like cheering}.

That was our day. 

I shared with you as much as I wanted to share. Plus, I can't smile so you won't even miss anything...photos with me in them are horrible. My mother-in-law caught a few cute ones apparently. My friends caught a few good ones, and also a few funny {or shall I say bad?} ones. In one I am about to burst into an ugly monster. See? You don't miss much. 

Happy mid-October!!!!

P.s.: my wedding dress came from Ruche, and I could not have been happier with it 

One Month

One month ago I married my best friend.
We are so different, and yet, we are so alike.
We think we are clones, made on different continents at different times and raised to different standards. We get along, we think alike, we laugh alike, and we breathe alike. That should be enough for now. Haha. We differ when it comes to watching TV {after all I am a girl and love my girlie shows}, and we differ when it comes to how much food we consume but other than that, we are ying and yang, the black to the white. Very easy. I cannot believe it has been one month. I also cannot believe I have not shared photos with you. One day, I promise. 

Until then I am drinking some bubbly!!

image via here

2 Ways to Make the Most Out of Your Bad Days

Ever had a horrible day? Week? Even month? 

We have all been there. We have all called a certain year one of the worst, even called a decade one of the most horrible ones. It's what we do. Some people even strive to find negativity in order to make their lives feel either better or worse. For a while now, I have been trying to make my life happier, more positive, filled with laughter, smiles, love, good food, and lots of pink and purple {and TV and films, and exciting books}. 

Honestly, since last year in November I have been wondering when my life will be fun, and happy again. My life changed from the moment I learned I couldn't finish my educational plan and it devastated me. Then I decided to go another route and earn money so I could maybe finish it in time. Friends supported me and the guy I had been dating for a while became something steady and permanent. Today I am focusing on the little things that will lead me to more happiness. I still have my bad days. Oh, I do. Ask my favorite person. He keeps saying I wasn't like that a year ago. Probably true. Back then I thought I had all my ducks in a row; straightly lined up and ready to go. 

When I feel sad, alone, and see only the negative things in life...I go for food. 

Don't get me wrong. I won't over-eat. I will try to enjoy healthy snacks. Just like the photo above. I go for fruits, fun "healthy" drinks, and whipped cream {cause I can, and want to}. How I do that? I will try to create something at home, but won't run to WholeFoods right away. I will rather try to find a new place to try around here in the city, and explore. So far, I have been very successful. My favorite person and I have not had a bad experience. The research takes a while because I have to make sure that the place offers gluten free items or a menu, but other than that, it has been fun and definitely lightens up the sad darkness.

The food usually gets me motivated, inspired, and happier. Win win!
I get nutrients, enjoy a date with my man, experience a new restaurant, and get happier? Yes, that's a win!

Second, when I feel most down and don't seem to be motivated to work on anything {not event this blog} I try to find happy photos or videos. It is that simple. I know people who get most creative when they are down, and plan projects {change wallpaper, paint, create jewelry, or  go to meet-up meetings}. Some even go to the gym and work off some steam they had built up over the past weeks or months. I do that too, but it doesn't make me feel whole or smiley. Cute photos or videos of animals on the other hand? Yes, they do.

1) Food
2) Cute animal photos or videos

That simple. So far it has worked for me. I don't want to spend money, and I don't want to be negative all the time. Laughter keeps people healthy and happy, and I am trying to find the good in most things. Maybe not on our water heater in our place, and maybe not in this ridiculous heat. Yet, when I see a squirrel jumping from one tree branch to another I get happy. When I see the turkeys look at me in fear because they think I am about to chase them down the road so I will have an early Thanksgiving dinner I get happy. When I find a perfect pair of boots, or a real leather bag for a great price I get happy. When I see puppies, or kittens stumble over nothing because, let's face it, they are clumsy at that stage in their life, I get happy {PetSmart, Petco, and all those other places thank you for having cute little ones available to look at!}. 

It is the little things.

If riding your bike, and cooking elaborate meals is your thing - then kudos to you.
If running, and getting rid of old clothes on a regular basis is your thing - then kudos to you.

Today, I am trying to smile by recycling my wine bottles, cans, and plastic bottles and get money back.

I will also try write down a Christmas list so I know what to get and send away, and then go look at cute animal videos...just the the following one {an old footage but it still makes me laugh}:

What is your remedy to a bad day{s}?

images via 1 | 2