March 4, 2010

The Thursday Blah...

This morning my aunt wrote an email back. She expressed her feelings. It made me sad. Happy too. I am appreciated for who I am and she misses me and was hoping I would visit this Easter. I am not. I am doing something out of the ordinary. I have mixed feelings. On one hand I'm excited to see my cousins and friends again, and to explore the East Coast a bit more (not to mention Philly!!), but on the other hand my heart is yelling at me for not following my heart. We all know my heart belongs to a completely different place. But, well...I chose not to follow that direction this spring. I may visit in July?! Or I may not, and visit the northern part of that area instead. SF in July? Wow, it's been a while. Who knows I may head towards that area. I may not. We'll see. So much to think aunt's a bit sad, but doing ok, and I am just confused. Haha!

Oh and I went out today for some shopping (so I'll be prepared for my spring trip). The weather here changed drastically. Last week we hit the lower 50s mark and now it's back down to the 30s!! Go away winter!!!! And I fully believe this sudden change made me sick. Out of nowhere today I got dizzy again and felt like I needed to sit down and breathe like never before. Instead I continued walking, drank water out of my bottle, and just wanted to go home. I felt dizzy and everying I looked at seemed blurry. So not a good feeling. I made it home, didn't collapse or anything, and once I got there I went straight to bed. Slept for an hour until some weirdo called the house. I didn't pick up. If it's important he/she calls again and has his/her number shown and not blocked.
And now I'm on here again. I shouldn't be, but I'm not tired nor do I feel the urge to stay in bed even on such an ugly day. Besides, I'm going to the movies tonight and need to be feeling okay. YES I am going. We already have the tickets, so I need to go. I'm gonna be fine. I just need to. It may even distract me and all. We'll see. It's just such an awful feeling not knowing what's wrong, but feeling something's just not right. They say "if the stomach area is "happy" and feeling good, then everything's good", and in my case...that area feels weird and everything's definitley not good. Sorry for any visuals...if at all. ;) But I'm working on that. I'm gonna be eating lots of soup and drinking water, tea and nothing else. Wish me luck.

So, and since I sort of posted a personal list about me yesterday I'm gonna stop doing this for now on. This wasn't easy and it took me forever to do so, besides I think these little hints are enough for now. Along the way you will encounter more facts about me but that's just so very normal. ;)
In the meantime...since my aunt expressed her feelings and it made me think a lot for the past few hours (or was her email causing my health problem to occur again?! I doubt it.) here are some pics that make me dream, inspire me just for the moment and just let me be me for this very second...haha. Ok, this doesn't make sense but typing and trying to ignore my pain is a difficult task so forgive me.

Happy Thursday.

via flickr

The last one's my favorite. I took a similar one years ago but couldn't find it so my favorite picture site helped me out!!! :)



Kristin said...

You sounds so distressed. I'm so sorry. I hope things get better for you ASAP!

Sam said...

Aww, well, you'll get there eventually, right?! Have fun on the east coast, it's pretty cool, hehe. Especially New York!

Happy Thursday to you too :)

samnhal said...

Oh Selma, I hope you start feeling better soon. Remember the BRAT diet...I think that's what it's called. It really does help until the bodily tracks are back on track. haha, that was funny. Anywho, maybe try taking some probiotics, they really help re-establish the G.I track.

OceanDreams said...

Hey sweetie I hope you feel better soon and that your health issues improve. Sorry about your difficult decision with your aunt, glad you are keeping your head held high and that you get to watch a movie!

Of course thank you too for all of your sweet comments and encouragement! I appreciate it.

Mara said...

beautiful pictures :) they make me dream too!

samnhal said...

Selma, I know I already commented on this, and I know you'll probably check my post, but I just wanted to let you know that you WON!!

Crazy Shenanigans said...

Hope you're having a good weekend!


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