My official work week is finished, and yes, most of you read correctly...it was my last day at work. However, in about five weeks I have to go back for a while until they find a replacement and if you knew my boss you'd understand and know that this may take a while. I don't mind going back because money is always needed. I dread going back to that co-worker but I know I'm better than her and don't care anymore. I'll be going back for the money and only for the money so I can afford school, and trips to see family and friends again!
At my age I should know my way in life, and I should know what I want to do or not to do but honestly I really don't. I don't want to stay in this field of work forever. Some of my friends think it's what I like doing. They are very wrong. It's what I do best or thought I would do best but I don't like it anymore. I'm bored. I can't stand people around me at this point who have no idea what working in this particular field means. Maybe it's the way Swiss people handle it, or how they work or think, but in this field there is a lot more to it. Plus, I'm one of those very few ones working there having the educational background and diplomas. I know what I'm talking about and the rest to unfortunately 90% doesn't. Moreover, diplomas don't tell if you are a good worker or understand the matter perfectly. Diplomas show you finished and achieved some sort of goal. This is good, don't get me wrong. I'm proud of mine. I think it's even fabulous to have this kind of paper showing you did an excellent job in school etc etc...but, in real life, in this field, you definitely absolutely always have to work on your skills. Improve them daily, learn from others, agree and sometimes disagree with others, but still tolerate their input, and learn from that. Plus, if you don't know how to travel and explore other places you suck! Sorry, but in this field it's the truth. You need to be open-minded, see new things, want new things, try new things for all I know...but if you stay the way you are and were, pretty stagnant, then you not only ruin yourself but also the rest of the place. So, with this said...sort of...I don't want to be stuck somewhere that doesn't flow correctly, and that doesn't allow me to enjoy life, and put my inputs and ideas to work. I love to improve myself on a daily basis and learn each day a new thing - in any kind of field (if it's music, geography, art, history, etc etc). My job requires a lot of skills, and I did like it. However, I need to learn more and explore more. I'm sure we all feel this way at some point or another. I blame it on my sign...Gemini. ;) I also blame it on my family because what they do is study (even at 70) and work hard to get their diplomas and world ideas and all that. I grew up reading old books, listening to Bach and Mozart, whereas others didn't. I also grew up playing table tennis and swimming, while trying to work on my guitar skills and singing in two choirs. In between all this I traveled some, and learned to balance a lot of things...and now I think it all comes back to me. This is what I need to be doing. That is also why I'm reading sometimes three books at once, and watch four movies in a row and learn to improve languages. It's what I've always done, it's just what I do and who I am. When I don't know something about a country or any other fact or person I look it up. Nowadays it's easier because of the internet. I just have to do this. I think it's great. My brain's working 24/7 and I don't have to say "oh, I don't know because I don't care". I've heard this sentence too many times. I don't want to know everything to 100% but at least to have some sort of an idea is helpful and needed.
So, what I'm trying to say is that I absolutely lost my point...I forgot what I wanted to say in the first place. All I actually wanted to say is HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND! I ended up rambling on and on about my crazy thoughts and wishes, and dreams and whatever else. I also wanted to say that I'm happy I have some time off to rethink my life, rethink my future, and learn more.
And yes, I really forgot what I wanted to say in the first place. But, I'm sticking to this one and will have a good time staying home, doing nothing but relax and read and sleep and hey!!! cook!!!!!! Or at least look at recipes and find ways to make those gorgeous looking dishes appear next week. We all know what next week is and yeah, I definitely miss Thanksgiving, too. I even got two invitations...one from "my aunt" and one from my friend back in CA. Can't go. Not now. Maybe next year?!
Sorry if your eyes are sore and if whatever I had to say and wrote down bothers you, or makes you think twice or whatever. I always say that writing helps and trust me on this it sure does. I feel much better now. Ready to watch TV and spoil myself with the pleasure of doing absolutely nothing today!!!!
from we ♥ it!
3 comments :
great post! And it is wonderful that you can take a step back and see what decisions are best for you :)
I like this post! I know exactly what you mean when it comes to the whole work thing going on with you right now. It sounds a lot like my work environment. I think it's great that you're getting out of there and taking a break!
I think it's people like us, raised to be over-achievers that find it hardest to find a job they like. Blame it on perfectionism, or the realization that you are better than that (and the slight egoism) and a bunch of few other factors!
Post a Comment